


What Friendship Is

by YAJJ



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Loneliness, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Vanitas Redemption (Kingdom Hearts), Vanitas redemption arc, Wayfinders (Kingdom Hearts), possible background terqua, vanitas is a sad sack and completely unwilling to admit it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2020-07-24 22:29:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 59,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20022064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YAJJ/pseuds/YAJJ
Summary: Vanitas is learning how to be a friend, one Wayfinder at a time.





	1. Chapter 1

“C’mon…”

…

“Work, damn you!! Get me off this stupid mountain!”

…

“...Son of a bitch.”

Vanitas threw his hand to the side and whipped around, glaring at all the training equipment around him. His nostrils flared viciously as he looked around, for  _ anything _ that could help him. 

It would figure that he would wake up again, after having supposed to have  _ died _ , and would be  _ here _ . Not even on a cool world, not even in Monstropolis where his Unversed could run around, or in the Caribbean where he could find a stupid boat and never have to deal with anyone ever again. 

He woke up in the  _ fucking _ Land of Departure.

Intentional or not, this had to be Ventus’ doing. 

He tried again, lifting his hand to summon a portal to the Lanes Between and get the hell off this stupid mountainside, but nothing even started fizzling out like it was making at attempt. 

It was as if he had been robbed of his portals completely. 

In a last ditch effort, he held Void Gear to the sky and waited, willing a stream of defeated keyblades into existence. But they had been used by Sora in the Keyblade Graveyard—and it seemed that Vanitas no longer had control of them. They had lost whatever power they had, and would now sit around like useless lumps of metal, taking up space and making for some  _ ugly _ scenery. 

He threw Void Gear to the ground, flinching at a twinge of pain in his chest. Stupid, useless keyblade. 

He was  _ stuck _ here, on this stupid, tiny world. With three people he most didn’t want to be around in the whole  _ World _ . 

* * *

It would figure that, after three days straight of solitude, it would be Ventus to wander up to the summit of the mount and start training. 

Vanitas kept himself hidden away, not wanting to face his stupid brother. He had gotten good at using Void Gear, with its sharp teeth, to cling to the side of the mountain and find himself a crag. He liked it up there, because it was safe, and he could watch over the castle down below to know what the wayfinders were up to. 

Ventus started swinging at the spinning one first. Like Vanitas, Ventus was a fast fighter, who dealt with quick movements, and was so skilled with Aero magic he could practically fly. Ventus was even a faster fighter than Vanitas was, but Vanitas had always made up for it with powerful smackdown attacks and the ability to teleport. They were evenly matched, and had proven as such on the battlefield, in the end. 

Ventus followed one of the rings around as it spun, whacking it four, five, six times before he finally touched the ground again, then jumped to start over. Each hit was getting a little harder—Vanitas wondered if maybe he was getting frustrated at something. Maybe his stupid friends? May be an easy way to lure him from home so he could—

...What? Could  _ what _ ? Reenact Master Xehanort’s plans, that had originally been an excuse to kill them both? Who was he kidding? 

Vanitas crossed his arms over his chest and wrinkled his nose.  _ Pathetic _ . He should be down there showing Ventus a thing or two about what battle was. But he did  _ not _ feel like interacting with a goody two-shoes. He didn’t feel like interacting with  _ anyone.  _ His Unversed were all the company he needed. 

An Axe Flapper appeared at his shoulder, and Vanitas frowned hard. The stupid Unversed that always appeared when he was  _ lying  _ to himself. 

Stupid Unversed. What did it know? Vanitas did not get  _ lonely _ . 

Another appeared, and chased its pal down the mountain toward Ventus. 

Vanitas cursed to himself and reached out toward them. Ventus was no warrior, but by now he  _ surely _ knew when Unversed were around. But Vanitas did not reach them in time, and they made their way toward the little light boy, squeaking all the while. 

It took a few extra moments, but eventually Ventus heard their squeaking and whipped around, eyes going wide. “ _ Unversed _ !” he snarled, rather viciously for such a pansy, and raised Wayward Wind. 

With each strike of the blade, Vanitas winced, and once the Axe Flappers disappeared in a cloud of HP orbs, munny gems, and Link crystals, his chest squeezed hard. It took a moment for the sensation to disappear, but Vanitas was used to the pain, so it wasn’t much trouble. 

Ventus whipped around and glared up toward the mountain. He clearly didn’t know precisely where Vanitas was, but he knew he was there—or the Unversed would never have appeared. 

“ _ Vanitas! _ ”

Vanitas said nothing, because he really did  _ not _ want to deal with his stupid brother. He’d rather die alone. 

Another Axe Flapper appeared, but Vanitas silently recalled it, because he did  _ not _ want to be told off by his own emotions. 

“Vanitas, get  _ out here _ !” Ventus snarled again, sounding well and truly mad. Xigbar—Braig, or whatever his name was—was right. Ventus mad really only looked like someone had killed his goldfish. Someone had to teach the kid how to look mad. “Get out here and  _ fight me _ you  _ coward _ !”

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. A Bruiser manifested and bared its hammy fists, ready to fight. Ventus  _ dared _ imply that Vanitas couldn’t and wouldn’t fight anyone at the slightest implication? What a fool. 

A haughty smirk crossed his face in the same moment that an Archraven was birthed above his head. Ventus wanted a fight?  _ Fine _ . He would  _ give him one _ .

“Hello, worm.”

Ventus bared his teeth like an animal and held out his keyblade in that stupid backhanded way that Vanitas had never once understood. It seemed like it would take far more energy to fight than it should. 

“ _ Vanitas _ ,” Ventus spat like his name was venom. “You being here can only mean bad news.”

_ Um, ouch _ . “Please. Like I’ve got nothing better to do than hang around and nag you all day.”  _ Not right now, but he doesn’t have to know that. _

Ventus didn’t have anything to say to that, just closed his fist tighter around the handle of Wayward Wind. His eyes went narrow, dark with hatred, and he brought the blade back just a little bit further. 

“Calm  _ down _ ,” Vanitas said, bringing up his hands with an apathetic shrug. 

“What do you  _ want _ ?” Ventus snapped. “Why are you here!”

_ I could ask the same of you—why AM I here? _

“Oh, you know… just popping in.” Vanitas grinned. An Archraven appeared at his side. Ventus stiffened, waiting for the bird to strike, but instead it landed calmly on Vanitas’ shoulders and squawked. 

“You’d better not be here to mess around!”

“What else would I be here to do?”

Ventus growled like a feral dog, bringing his hand back. After ten years, this kid had gotten feisty. Maybe he’d finally gotten  _ fun _ . Vanitas spread his fingers apart and willed Void Gear back into existence, in the same moment that Ventus charged. 

Ventus struck him with a Quick Blitz to start, followed closely by a Fire Strike and then swung a few times with his keyblade. Void Gear appeared in Vanitas’ hand just in time to block Ventus’ quick finish. Ventus had to take a second to breathe, and in that half-second, Vanitas acted. 

He jumped, Void Gear held in both hands, and brought it down on Ventus’ head. A block of ice followed instantly afterward. He followed with a volley of quick thrusts, but Ventus was lucky he was fast—he caught each with the blade. Ventus threw him off and they both took a few steps back, eyeing their opponent warily. Ventus was heaving great breaths, and admittedly, Vanitas was having a hard time calming his heart. 

“Come on, Ventus,” Vanitas teased, “you’re too  _ slow _ !”

Ventus glared at him and lifted his blade. A flame brewed at the end, and within the second, Ventus shouted “ _ Mega Flare _ !”

Vanitas threw up Void Gear, but the small keyblade wasn’t enough to halt the huge flame. He was thrown from his feet and crashed into the side of the mountain, smacking his head. He slumped to his knees, dazed and confused. A Hareraiser appeared at his side and hopped around him, sniffing, but it didn’t go after Ventus as it ordinarily would have. 

“ _ Leave us alone _ !”

Vanitas lifted his head in time to see Ventus whirl around and make a mad dash for the castle. He watched him go, unable and unwilling to say anything to… to what,  _ stop  _ him? Why would Vanitas stop him? Let him run, like the coward he had accused Vanitas of being. That proved something, didn’t it!

Something tugged at his heart, something sad that Vanitas recognized, had felt more than he liked to admit. A Flood appeared at his side and zipped around him, looking for danger. Vanitas quickly recalled it.

_ That _ was not a particular emotion he wanted to deal with. He thought he was quite sick of it. 

* * *

When he was disturbed next, it was by three stomping pairs of feet. Vanitas hid himself away on his crag and let a Flood pluck at his chest. He glared at the purple little creature, not particularly mad with it, but not exactly happy with its appearance, either. He was laid out on his grassy little safehaven, thinking of nothing. 

“He was here!”

Vanitas cursed under his breath and opened his eyes, glancing down. Of course Ventus had gone to fetch his ridiculous friends. And boy did  _ they _ look sorry. Terra—the one the Master had taken control of—looked ripened with age and stress. Aqua—the blue mage that Vanitas found nearly as annoying as Ventus—looked worn down and permanently tired. An Archraven appeared above his head, but Vanitas chased it away. Now he  _ really  _ didn’t want to be disturbed. 

Terra whistled, long and low. “Damn, Ven. Get up to some trouble?”

“I  _ told you _ !” Ventus snapped, whirling on his friends. Vanitas smirked at the frustration mounting, but he didn’t say anything. A Blue Sea Salt appeared above him. “Vanitas was  _ here _ !”

“Ven, we believe you,” Aqua said.

“We have to  _ find him _ , and  _ stop him again _ , before he takes everything all  _ over again _ !”

_ Please, as if all I have to do in life is make your life miserable _ .

“We will!” Terra said. “I told you, Ven. Nothing can tear us apart again.”

“An unbreakable connection,” Aqua agreed. 

“He came at me with his Unversed first, then he goaded me to fight, and—”

“And you wrecked the training ground. But it’s okay, Ven. You were protecting yourself.”

_ Protecting himself _ ?  _ Goaded _ ? Man, what Vanitas experienced and what Ventus experienced were two completely different events. Wasn’t it Ventus who had demanded that Vanitas come out and fight? Vanitas would have been perfectly happy if Ventus had ignored him, but the stupid light boy hadn’t allowed it. 

“I  _ won’t _ let him tear us apart.”

Another Flood appeared at his head and sniffed at its pal. The two Unversed loomed down on the trio of friends, while Vanitas tucked his head away. He wondered, way at the back of his mind, what it must be like to have friends like that. 

“I’ll go up to the summit,” said Aqua, “if you two want to get a good look around here. Maybe he’s gone, Ven. I’m sure it’ll be nothing to worry about.” The Keyblade Master trotted off, heading up the hill toward the steeper incline past the waterfall. 

Vanitas ducked his head to his chest further and glared harder at the creatures now curled against his chest. He hoped they went away soon so he could sleep. 

“It’s alright, Ven,” Terra went on. “He can’t hurt us anymore. And if he even tries, we’ve got like fifteen new friends who are pretty good at kicking bad guy ass to help us. Vanitas doesn’t stand a  _ chance _ .”

“Like I even wanted to, anyway,” Vanitas mumbled to himself. A Red Hot Chili emerged from nowhere and floated above his head, but Vanitas twisted his head and ignored that it was there at all. 

The two wielders wandered around this level, looking for signs of Vanitas without actually looking where Vanitas had come from. They obviously found nothing, but Ventus still gave off that nervous energy.

After a small amount of time, Aqua returned from the summit reporting nothing. Ventus looked more than a little nervous, mumbling, “but he  _ was here _ …”

“And we believe you! He’s just not now. We’ll keep our defenses up and keep an eye out. Don’t worry, Ven, nothing will take us from you ever again.”

“Aqua is right. Come on, Ven, let’s go back inside. Wanna play a round of Command Board with me?”

The two older wielders led Ventus off, and Vanitas watched them go sourly. Let them leave. If they  _ really _ believed Ventus, then they’d put more effort into finding him. 

As they walked off, Aqua must have felt Vanitas’s stare. She stiffened, paused, and turned around. 

The two of them locked eyes. Aqua stiffened again, harder, and her hand went out like she was going to summon Rainfell if Vanitas so much as alluded to wanting to hurt any of them.

Vanitas rolled his eyes, looked away, and flipped her the bird. He did  _ not  _ care to fuel any positive or negative emotions she may be feeling. He wasn’t doing anything, and she could leave him well enough alone.

* * *

Later that evening, after the moon had risen and the sky was dark, and way after the goody two shoes wayfinders  _ probably _ fell asleep, footsteps clanked up the steps to the training ground. They halted at the top. Vanitas pointedly ignored them.

At least, he wanted to. 

“Vanitas!” 

That was Aqua’s voice cutting through the night. Vanitas groaned quietly, tired and exasperated. Stupid wayfinders. If they left him alone then maybe,  _ maybe _ , he’d leave them alone this time. 

“Get out here Vanitas! I know you’re here!”

_ Of course you do. You  _ saw _ me _ . Why were the wayfinders just a trio of morons who had found themselves together? Kingdom Hearts wouldn’t even know how the three of them had managed to survive all they had when between the three of them, they shared one brain cell on a good day.

Still, he said nothing. He closed his eyes back up and ignored the Vile Phial that floated around his head. 

“ _ Answer me Vanitas! _ ”

This ridiculous woman was going to give him  _ no  _ chance to sleep. She’d be out here all night and still wouldn’t go to bed. 

So, he could see what she wanted and possibly sleep… or ignore her and definitely  _ not _ . 

_ Ughhhhhh _ .

“What do you  _ want _ ?”

Aqua bristled. When Vanitas cracked his eyes open, he saw her glaring in the general direction, but his crag protected him from sight. “ _ Get. Over. Here. Now. _ ”

Who did she think he was? His  _ mother _ ? His  _ friend _ ? He was under no obligation to obey her! And she spoke as if disobeying her was the ultimate in wrongdoing. 

“ _ Now, Vanitas! _ ”

“Why don’t you come up here?”

No—fuck, wait shit. He said up. And now she was looking, looking, and—

She bent her knees a little and Vanitas cursed out loud. 

Aqua wasn’t agile like Ventus was, Vanitas could remember that from the few times he fought her. She was still plenty agile, but she couldn’t fly like Ventus could fly. That didn’t seem to stop her like he had hoped. She jumped, then activated Doubleflight, cast Aeroga beneath her feet, and jumped and Doubleflew again. She lifted Rainfell, and Vanitas started cursing up a storm when the blade’s teeth caught on Vanitas’ crag just like Void Gear did. 

Aqua flipped herself up and stood calmly there, glaring at him, her nose wrinkled and something akin to fury broiling in her eyes. 

“ _ What.” _

Aqua recalled Rainfell and crossed her arms over her chest. She cast her eyes around Vanitas’ scrubby appearance and the two Floods and the Vile Phial by him. She said nothing, just tapped her toes like an expectant boss. 

“What do you  _ want _ ?!” Vanitas demanded, forcing himself to his feet. The two Floods darted around his feet and hissed at Aqua, disappearing into the ground to appear on either side of her. They didn’t attack her though, waiting for Vanitas’ command. The Vile Phial hovered above his head, waiting to be needed. “Why are you  _ here _ ?!”

“This is my home,” Aqua said harshly, each syllable short and to the point. “I think I should be the one asking  _ you _ . What  _ are _ you doing here? Why did you attack Ven?”

“ _ Attack _ !” Vanitas laughed a short, angry laugh. A Tank Toppler appeared at his side and started swelling, its insides starting to go red. “He got all pushy when I did keep to myself, and then when I didn’t,  _ like he asked _ ,  _ he _ attacked  _ me _ .” But why would Aqua believe him? And why did he care that she believed him? “You want to know why I’m here?! Why don’t you ask your  _ precious Ventus _ , I bet he knows better than I do!” Shoegazers were appearing at his feet, two or three of them. There was not a lot of room on the tiny crag, especially with the huge Tank Toppler behind him. 

Aqua didn’t say anything for a full minute, just attempted to absorb what Vanitas had said. What _ ever _ , she could take all the time her braincell needed. Vanitas was outta here. 

He whipped around and grabbed ahold of the Tank Toppler, pointing toward the summit, which was a little closer than the training grounds. The toppler turned and lifted its arms, releasing two streams of air from its arms to get them down. Tank Topplers couldn’t exactly fly, but they did make for a soft landing. 

“Wait!”

A second Vile Phial appeared above him, but now that they were on a bigger level, Vanitas didn’t care. Fifty more Unversed could appear, and it would make little difference. 

Aqua leapt from the crag, Doubleflew, then cast Aeroga to give her a safe landing. Vanitas tossed his bangs angrily to the side. “What do you mean, Ven would know better than you?”

“Well, I only woke up here a few days ago,” Vanitas snapped, whirling on her. “I figured that idiot had something to do with it.”

“...So you didn’t come here?”

Vanitas rolled his eyes hard. “Do I have to spell it out for you?  _ N-o _ ! That spells no! I didn’t  _ come here _ , and if I had a choice I wouldn’t be here, okay?!”

Aqua considered him quietly, looking him up and down. Dislike miscolored her blue eyes, but behind it, Vanitas could see that disgusting  _ Light _ shining there, that goodness and desire to help. How  _ lame _ was that? She couldn’t possibly be dumber. 

“So don't  _ worry.  _ As soon as I figure out how to get off this stupid world, I’ll be out of your hair.”

“...I thought you could open up portals to the Lanes Between like we could. You always seemed to have an easier time of it than we did, at least.”

Vanitas groaned and lifted a hand, willing a portal into existence. As before, not even a fizzle of an attempt showed itself. “Nope. Not anymore.”

Aqua set her mouth and turned curious eyes to the ground, crossing her arms. “How… peculiar.”

“Yeah,” Vanitas spat, sarcasm dripping from every pore. “ _ Peculiar _ .” He stalked off and found himself a soft patch of grass, laying down and kicking up his feet. Now that his crag had been invaded, it was tainted and obvious. Couldn’t stay there anymore. Stupid wayfinders. “Now go away and let me sleep.”

Aqua started, as if only just realizing something. She eyed him quietly and asked, “...you’re sleeping out here?”

_ Wow. Really put that one brain cell to work figuring that out, huh? _ Where else was he supposed to sleep? “Well I haven’t been invading your dumb castle if that’s what you’re worried about.” Idiot. 

Her mouth dropped to form a little ‘o’, staring at him for an uncomfortable amount of time. Vanitas soon closed his eyes and pointedly turned away. A Jellyshade appeared above his head and made little twittering sounds at Aqua. 

“...Do you want to come in?”

The question was so sudden and bizarre that Vanitas’ eyes blasted open, and he sat up so quickly to just  _ stare _ at her that he clocked the poor Jellyshade. Where the hell had that come from? One minute, she’s tracking him down and prepared to chew him out, the next she’s inviting him in? 

...How dumb did she think Vanitas was? He may not have had much otherworldly knowledge outside of what Master Xehanort taught him, but he knew a trap when he saw one. 

“I don’t think your precious  _ Ventus  _ would appreciate that much,” he said, turning up his nose at her. He laid back down and crossed his arms behind his head.  _ He _ was not stupid. He could live like this, almost certainly. 

“He may feel better if we’re able to keep an eye on you.”

Vanitas tapped his toes. “You know, believe it or not, getting stalked all night because you three idiots are paranoid doesnt sound as relaxing as you apparently were lead to believe.”

“We wouldn’t—“ But Aqua stopped herself and blew a loud breath up into her bangs. “It’s cold out tonight. You’ll freeze.”

It was no colder than the other nights, but he didn’t say so. Instead, he summoned a Red Hot Chili and motioned. The Unversed blew a fireball at the ground not far from Vanitas, so a fire blossomed, lovely and warm. Actually, he should have done this  _ days _ ago—it felt so  _ warm _ . And the crackling of the flame was so soft; he didn’t know if it was because of how sleepy he was, the warmth, or the sound, but he was ready to fall asleep right there.

Aqua made a sound like she was pulling in a huge breath and frowned hard. “ _ Fine _ ,” she said, more like spat, anger clipping at her words and making them short and brittle. “Fine. I tried being nice. I’m going back inside. But when you’re sitting here moping, feeling bad for yourself, just don’t sit there and pretend that no one tried to help you. Alright?”

Vanitas opened his eyes and stared at her, startled by the sudden anger. He expected anger out of her, being honest, but not because he didn’t accept her offer to help. A mandrake popped up at his side and jumped into the air like it was about to spew poison. “...Whatever.”

Aqua whipped around and stormed off toward the training ground and castle, normally light footfalls sounding hard with anger and frustration. “And if you even  _ think _ about trying to hurt or ruin  _ anything _ , Terra, Ven, and I will be up here to stop you in an instant! We did it before and we can do it again!” 

Then, she was gone. 

Vanitas sat up and watched her go, a thoughtful frown crossing his face. He ignored the appearance of five more Floods, who watched her go with him, instead sharing a look with the Red Hot Chili who still floated about, waiting for something to do. 

He collected his knees to his chest, breathing out a soft  _ tch _ at her. She could threaten and complain and… and guilt trip all she wanted. He was fine out here on his own—he didn’t want to spend the rest of his stupid life being threatened and followed and having his neck breathed down. Out here, on his own, he was fine. He was free. He was alone. 

Just the way he was supposed to be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flood - Lonely  
> Blue Sea Salt - Content  
> Shoegazer - Defensive  
> Scrapper - Nervous  
> Vile Phial - Annoyed

He felt kinda bad, summoning an Unversed just so he could kill it and eat the HP orbs that dropped out. He was _starving_ —pushing four days of no real food, this was all he had. At least they were something. They tasted like rancid air and were hard going down his throat, and he had to eat _a lot_ just to get even moderately full, but it was something. At least he was eating. 

The Floods were easiest to call, because they just seemed to show up every thirty or so minutes. Vanitas _detested_ their presence, because he knew what they were there for but he did _not_ get _lonely_ , and yet… _whatever_. At least they were regular, and used no energy to kill. He could just blast a spell at them and they would disappear. Unfortunately they never gave off very many orbs, or gems for that matter. Which meant that what little energy the orbs could give him, it was reduced as soon as he killed another. It was keeping him alive, but only barely. 

There wasn’t anything else he could do. What was he supposed to do, go through the wayfinders’ trash? They didn’t throw out much—he had already checked. He could break into the castle, but since his portals no longer worked _at all_ , he had no quick getaway and didn’t want to hear Aqua nag at him while Terra and Ventus used… probably more violent methods. 

He just wanted to eat, not having a fucking _battle_. 

So, no. No stealing from the fucking castle.

Which meant all he had were these stupid Unversed. 

He sat atop one of the circles on the spinning training equipment, looping his fingertips through the chain to hold himself up. He entertained himself with this some days, when he grew bored of trying uselessly again and again to escape this prison of a world. The spinner was easy enough to spin—once he cast a standard Aero spell, it would start going. Slowly, but most of the time the movement and the changing of the scenery was enough to entertain him without weakening him. A Blue Sea Salt floated at his side, content as it followed its master in a lazy circle around and around the same metal structure for what felt like the sixtieth time that day. 

“You know, our Master always said that was not a toy.”

The voice was so sudden that Vanitas instantly whipped his head up and to the side, looking toward it. The movement yanked him to the side and he nearly fell backwards, if not for the painful grip his fingertips had in the chainlinks. His fingers wrenched in the chain, then his shoulder, then his fingers slid out and he flipped to the ground—not landing on his feet as he was used to. 

There was a breathy laugh off to the side, and a jingling almost-laugh from the Unversed above him. Vanitas shot a glare at the Blue Sea Salt, then lifted his head to direct his glare at the source of the voice. 

Aqua stood there, leaning against the archway toward the castle. Her eyes were crinkled in the corners and her cheeks were pinched with a grin, so even though she was no longer laughing, it was no mystery where it had come from. 

“You’re nearly as animated as Ven!” Aqua said brightly, a laugh in her voice. Vanitas’ head was already pounding, _thank you very much_ , from his landing, and the stupid brightness and happiness in her voice, and the light radiating from her, were _no help_. “But not nearly as graceful.”

“‘M as graceful as I fuckin’ wanna be,” Vanitas ground out, sitting up and rubbing his head. “Why should I care what your Master thinks?” Thought. Whatever.

“My Master owned and used this castle, this equipment for quite a while, even before Terra and myself were here. If he said that it’s not a toy, it’s not a-oop.” Aqua hid another laugh behind her hand when the circle following the one Vanitas had been riding on made its slow drift—clanking right into Vanitas’ exposed head. 

At least it hadn’t been moving fast enough to hurt.

In a fit, Vanitas called Void Gear and smacked the circle out of the way, which caused the spinner to go a little faster and bring about the next one. Vanitas at least was expecting this and moved out of the way. He shot another glare at Aqua when he was finally free of the stupid spinning death trap.

“It’s not a toy but you seem to be having a grand old time,” he spat.

Aqua shrugged a little, smile still crossing her face. That was one thing he _hated_ about the wayfinders and all their dumb friends. What was there to _smile_ about? “I think after what you put us through, it’s well deserved.”

Vanitas opened his mouth to retaliate, to say _something_ to his own defense, but nothing came out. A Shoegazer popped up but hung back behind him, as if unsure if it was supposed to be there at all. “What do you want?” he said instead. _Well deserved_. As if he had had a say in the matter.

“I talked it over with Ventus,” Aqua said. She moved over and took a seat on the bench not far from the level. “He was… admittedly reluctant, but he thought that he would feel better if he was able to keep an eye on you. Terra was… a little harder to convince, actually, but once Ven was okay with it, he basically agreed.”

“...Agreed with _what_.”

Aqua nodded back toward the castle, purpose in her eyes. She had an idea, and it wasn’t going to go away. Which couldn’t mean anything good. “You. Staying at the castle.”

Staying at the—hadn’t they already talked about this?! He was _perfectly happy_ out here in the mountain, where he wasn’t being bugged over and over again by the stupid Wayfinders, where he could live his own life… on a mountaintop, unable to really go anywhere else. 

No. He liked it up here. Honest. 

“No.”

“Why not?” Aqua immediately asked, as if ready for his rejection. “What could be so great about being up here?”

“How about not being stalked and bugged and _watched_ by you three idiots every time I dare to so much as _breathe_ ! Why do you keep asking?! You’re supposed to _hate me_!” 

“Because,” she said simply, with such a force in her voice that he was silenced. “No one deserves to be alone. Not even you.”

Vanitas again opened his mouth, but couldn’t think of what he was trying to say, so he closed it again. 

“I’ve been alone,” Aqua went on, crossing her arms over her chest. A thoughtful look crossed her face, one that told many stories of pain and loneliness that doubtless beat out even Vanitas’. “I’ve been alone for a long time. And it sucks. A lot. I wouldn’t wish loneliness on my worst enemy. I don’t even know that I would wish it on Master Xehanort. So I won’t wish it on you.”

Vanitas frowned hard and backed a step away, something nervous broiling in his heart. He nearly tripped over the Scrapper that appeared behind him. This… wasn’t right. He wasn’t used to this and he _certainly_ wasn’t comfortable with it.

After just a moment, Aqua sighed and stood up. “But, I can see that I’m making you nervous. I’m sorry. You don’t have to accept my offer now. I know I was… _angry_ , the last time we talked. I still am, honestly. I think I’m going to be angry for a long time. But as angry as I am at you, I’m still angry at Master Xehanort, and a lot of other things, a lot more. And the Master said to never pass up a chance. So I’m not going to. Whenever you need us, whenever you’re ready to accept it, the doors are open to you. There’s a room set up, it’s right beside mine, that’s ready for you. If you want, I can start decorating it.”

Vanitas had nothing to say to that; didn’t really know exactly what he was meant to say to that. 

“Or not. You might want to see what it looks like first. Either way, it’s yours. I’ll… leave you alone now.” Aqua took a few steps toward the castle, looking a little sheepish as if she had said a little too much. “I’m making supper tonight. Riku gave me this great paopu glaze recipe from his parents that I wanted to try on chicken so we’re going to give it a shot. I’ll leave a plate out for you on the front step, if Terra and Ven haven’t eaten it all, okay? I know you won’t want to come in and eat with us yet, and that’s okay. It’ll be waiting.” 

Vanitas watched her go, more than a little nervous as another Scrapper popped up beside him. She was walking back toward the castle now, just beyond the archway toward it. Vanitas didn’t stop her—didn’t know what to say, and didn’t really want to anyway. 

Then, she turned her head, with a soft little smile on her face. “Have fun spinning! I won’t tell Terra and Ven if you want to continue… playing on it.” She lifted her hand with a wave, then walked back to the castle, head high. 

* * *

The chicken was delicious, actually. The paopu was nice and tangy. If Vanitas had a nice bone in his body, he might have thanked her, or at least told her that he liked it, but he didn’t. The vegetables were a new experience he hadn’t tried before. He _liked_ the red pepper, though. A lot. It was surprisingly sweet. He decided that whenever he did work up the desire to steal food from here, he was gonna steal a whole bunch of these red crunchy peppers and hoard them for himself. 

He didn’t leave a note for Aqua thanking her, didn’t even let her know that he had it at all. Just stole back into the night towards the mountain, belly considerably fuller.

He didn’t turn around to see three pairs of eyes from three different windows watching him leave.

* * *

The next day, she left out a bowl of soup and some crunchy bread and, much to his surprise, an entire red pepper. Against the bowl was a little piece of paper. The note read “Terra made potato soup so sorry if it’s not as good!! ;)”.

It was still pretty good, actually. Nice and warm and it settled in his belly quite nicely. The bread was perfect for dipping. He ate the red pepper last, and that he had on the walk back up the mountainside. 

Why were they—why was she being so fucking _nice_ ? It didn’t make any sense. Especially since he wasn’t being any kinder back to her—and he didn’t intend to be. And he _wasn’t_ accepting her offer for help. Not by going to the castle to sleep, and _not_ like this. He was just… stealing the food that they were being stupid and leaving out. Those idiots. 

(The note tucked into his pocket said otherwise, but he ignored that.)

* * *

They kept leaving food out. The three idiots switched out who was cooking, but it was always Aqua’s handwriting on the note she left. Aqua was the best cook of the three of them. She liked to experiment with foods and always seemed to know which flavors paired well. Terra was good, too, but like in a “read from the recipe book” good. Ventus apparently didn’t know how to make much, so his consisted of “pop it in the oven” sort of stuff. Vanitas had never cooked once in his life so he couldn’t really say much… but he knew that if he ever started, he would _instantly_ be better than Ventus, he just knew it. 

About a week after Aqua first met him on his crag, she came out to sit with him. 

They hadn’t really disturbed him much, up on the mountain. They stayed in their dumb castle, and he stayed on his mountain, and he was fine with that. He found the quiet soothing, so he was _more_ than fine with that. Aqua may have come up at one point, but Vanitas had avoided her so he wasn’t entirely certain. 

She didn’t say much to him. He was sat on the grass in front of the bottom step, while she perched on the cement railing at the top. As soon as she stepped out, he had curled into himself and did his best to radiate as much “ **_I want to be alone_ **” energy as physically possible. Floods and Scrappers were keeping themselves entertained by chasing after one another. 

He wasn’t sure if it worked, because she didn’t get any closer, or not, because she didn’t leave. At least she wasn’t speaking up much.

“...The stars sure are beautiful tonight, aren’t they?” Aqua suddenly piped up after a while, a smile on her voice. Vanitas flinched, a Mandrake popping up beside him to join in the other Unverseds’ game. “Of course, they always are here. We have the best view of the stars than any other world I’ve been to. ...Except, maybe, Deep Space.” She giggled at her own joke. Vanitas rolled his eyes and turned his head away from her. 

She sighed softly, quietly, then continued. “They’re always so much better up there on that mountain, though. Aren’t they? You’ve gotten used to that.”

He said nothing. 

“...Vanitas?”

He wasn’t finished with the vegetables, and his stomach was turning even though a whole red pepper sat there waiting for him. He wasn’t finished with the pasta, either. He didn’t care. He was on his feet and shoving the stupid plate to the side in an instant. He said nothing, but the Unversed heeded him and stopped their playing. They chased after him as he headed back toward the mountain. 

He should have said something. She was being strangely polite—like it didn’t matter that not too long ago, they had been enemies. 

That was the problem, though. They had been _enemies_ . Vanitas had never had _friends_ before; the closest he had was Master Xehanort, and the rest of the Real Organization XIII. They had all treated him as a nuisance at best, a plaything at worst. They had all spent most of their time ignoring him; hell, Master Xehanort himself had wanted to pit Ventus against him and had acted as if it was _Vanitas_ ’ fault for existing.

 _An abomination beyond hope of salvation_. 

So why, if all of them, who had been on his side (or, the same side as he, and was that the same?) had been downright cruel to him… why was this woman, who he had attacked, taunted, and verbally abused so long ago, why was she being so kind?

He didn’t get it. 

And he didn’t like it. 

* * *

In the morning, someone came up the mountainside in a huff. Vanitas assumed it would be Aqua, the only one who ever came by. So he was surprised to see the tiny form of his brother—enraged, annoyed, maybe even a little afraid, but there. His cheeks were puffed out—nope, _still_ couldn’t look mad. Honestly.

Ventus came to a stop beside the pond. Vanitas was perched atop the ledge above, doing and saying nothing. 

For a moment, the silence brewed, tension so thick it would take a much sharper keyblade to cut through it. 

Then, Ventus worked up every ounce of whatever courage he had, and he spat, “whatever you said to Aqua, go apologize.”

Vanitas didn’t look at him, glaring at the lily pads. “For what.”

“I don’t _know_. You made her upset. Friends apologize when they make someone upset.”

“I’m not her friend.”

“Yeah, I _noticed_ ,” Ventus spat. There was an unspoken _if you were, you’d have apologized_ . “But for some reason that _I_ don't understand, she’s become _interested_ . And now she’s _sad_ because you’re being a _dick_ , when she’s just trying to _help_ you.”

“I never _asked_ for her help.”

“Yeah?” Ventus shot a glare at him and crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, tough. That’s what friends do. They help, whether you ask for it or not.” 

“That’s stupid.”

“You’re stupid.”

“Oh yeah, _real_ mature.”

“ _You’re_ real mature…!”

Vanitas shot him a somewhat confused look, a Vile Phial popping up at his side. What the hell was this idiot doing? He didn’t even seem to know. What a moron. 

“...Go apologize to Aqua. I think she’s in the greenhouse.”

“Why would I care where she is?” Vanitas spat, ducking his head. He didn’t care how bad she felt. Why should he?

Ventus groaned loudly and whipped around. “Fine. Whatever.” He stormed off toward the castle, stomping his feet. “I told her it was stupid and you’d never change.”

* * *

Vanitas didn’t heed Ventus. He didn’t have to. He wasn’t Aqua’s friend, and she _certainly_ wasn’t his. He had no duty to her whatsoever. If she wanted to be all upset because he wanted to be left alone, well then he figured that that was on her. 

He played with a Flood that afternoon. It had appeared alongside a few more, but when the others disappeared, this one stayed. It at first tried to curl up in his lap like a little pup, but Vanitas wanted _none_ of that, so instead he scattered fireballs around, and the little Unversed chased them. He didn’t even know why he entertained the strange little emotion. He hadn’t had anything to eat this morning and was starting to get a little hungry. But… well, just because Vanitas didn’t get lonely, didn’t mean he wanted to bait the notion. 

That evening, the Flood curled up next to him while a Red Hot Chili set a part of the grass on fire and then hovered around him. See? He was _fine_. He had his stupid Unversed, he certainly didn’t need no stupid Wayfinders. He was fine. 

Even as his stomach rumbled a little. He had handled it before, and he’d handle it now. And he’d _prove_ it. 

Come morning, he destroyed the Red Hot Chili and took its HP orbs. The Flood tucked itself away for a little while behind the stone benches, probably afraid that Vanitas would come for it next. Just because he had no plans to, doesn’t mean the little emotion had to know about that.

He spent all day up there, in the mountains, even got ahold of his crag again. Since he had apparently “hurt Aqua’s feelings” or something, she likely wouldn’t be coming for him, and she was the only one who knew of the safety of his crag. He didn’t go down to the training grounds, and didn’t go to the castle as night fell. He decided not to care. 

His stomach rumbled, but he didn’t call another Unversed to take its HP orbs. And he didn’t kill the one that curled at his side. Didn’t really know why. Just didn’t. 

Two more mornings and evening passed like this. By the first evening, he crept to the summit and watched the stars. Aqua was right; he really did have quite a view up here (ignoring her joke about Deep Space). It was nice and calming, watching the way the stars glittered and flickered. None of them went out, as they had so long ago; all the worlds back in perfect working order. 

_For now_. 

By the second midnoon, he crept down to the training ground and took his place atop the spinner. Another Blue Sea Salt accompanied him as it had when Aqua found him so many days ago. This time, though, Aqua didn’t come for him, and about five Floods pecked at the ground around the spinner, while another few watched from the pond. 

_Stupid Wayfinders_. 

Morning of the third day, Vanitas stood from his crag and scooped up his little Flood companion. The creature cackled amiably, a sound only Vanitas could hear clearly, and pushed its little snout against his chest. It seemed oddly excited about something. Once Vanitas had expressed the proper amount of appreciation (next to none, but the Unversed seemed to know that whatever little bit it could get out of Vanitas would be plenty), it hopped off the crag and fell toward the training grounds, with no care for who or what may already be down there, or its own safety. 

Vanitas rolled his eyes and followed the ridiculous little creature down, calling on Void Gear to climb down the mountain until he was close enough to the ground to jump without hurting himself too badly. 

The little emotion pecked around the training ground, and went to splash in the pond, then came back and hopped onto the spinner when Vanitas jumped up. Vanitas had no clue what it was up to, but it seemed to have a lot of energy. Was that from the strength of the pathetic emotion that fueled it? Or did it just know something he didn’t? Perhaps it was a little bit of both. 

The Flood crept up to the top of the spinner and rode atop the wheel where the chain hung from. No Blue Sea Salt followed him this time—Vanitas honestly didn’t find it so amusing anymore. 

They stayed up there for a length of time. He wasn’t sure how long, but it felt like ages. And he was only interrupted when he glanced to the side and saw that they had an onlooker. 

He tore his head to look away from her, scowling. She just did _not_ get it, did she?

But Aqua, apparently, knew that she was spotted. She said, “your little friend is cute.”

“It’s not my friend,” he spat. He almost went on to say “I don’t have any friends”, but after seeing what the ‘power of friendship’, or whatever, could do, the kind of strength it could create, from Sora and his band of merry whoevers, he decided that it wasn’t really a brag to have no friends, so he kept that to himself. 

Aqua, apparently, didn’t know what to say to that, so she didn’t say anything. 

“What do you want?” Vanitas demanded, because Master Xehanort had long ago taught him that people only ever came to him when they wanted something. 

“I brought you some breakfast.”

Vanitas’ head whipped towards her, looking her up and down. She stood at the stone table and chairs, watching and waiting. And indeed, in front of her there was a plate of some sort of food he didn’t recognize. It looked like a whole _meal_. 

His stomach snarled loudly and reminded him of just how hungry he was. But he didn’t go to her yet, because she _must_ have wanted something. 

“You haven’t been by in a few days,” Aqua went on, folding her hands over her stomach and looking for all the world like she, for some reason, felt guilty for it. “I’ve been leaving stuff out, but I’d come back to find it untouched. So I figured you must be hungry.”

He didn’t agree with her, not verbally, but he thought his stomach was growling so loud it could be heard through all the worlds. _Yes_ , he was hungry. 

She looked up at him then, looking for a response. Vanitas just watched her. Said nothing. 

So she went on. “I think I made you uncomfortable the other night. I know you aren’t much for… _conversation_. But I still tried to get you to talk, and that’s not fair. And I’m sorry for that.”

Was that what she wanted? Forgiveness? Or was she looking for an apology, like Ventus had said? Maybe she was. Maybe that’s all it would take. What was the word she had said—I’m sorry? Was that what he was supposed to say?

His pride reared its ugly head, but he was so _hungry_ , and fought it back with a proverbial stick. He could do this. He could… _apologize_. For food. 

“No… I’m sorry.”

Aqua’s eyes went wide; the way she looked at him said that she didn’t even know he knew how to apologize. Best not to tell her this was his first time. “For what?”

...Why had Ventus said he should apologize? Because he made her upset. Even Ventus hadn’t known _how_ , but he had to apologize. For… 

“Making you upset.” That seemed feasible. “You were… trying to help. And I’ve been—“ he shuddered to himself for even _caring_ , “ _rude_.”

This whole thing felt foul on his tongue. 

Aqua stared. Just… _stared_ , for a full minute. He was still going in slow circles, so it was a little difficult, but she wasn’t put off. 

Then, much to his surprise, she laughed. He knew in an instant that he had done it wrong, but the smile on her face was big and splitting her face, throwing him off spectacularly. “Thank you,” she finally said, tapping the table. “Now come on. I promise I won’t talk much.”

Vanitas watched her, nervous. A Scrapper appeared beside the Flood atop the wheel. Then she tapped the table again, and Vanitas decided he was hungry enough, and had apparently done the right thing. He hopped down—significantly more graceful than last time—and trotted over. 

She scooted over, much to his surprise, so that they were at opposite ends of the table. He wasn’t sure if that was for his sake, or for hers. Probably, he thought, a little bit of both. 

Most of the plate was taken up by fluffy yellow junk with some red pieces in it that he thought he knew. There were strips of bacon, too, and toasted pieces of bread that was moderately shiny on the face. It looked good—Vanitas thought he might drool just by looking at it, so instead he dove in. 

_She put red pepper in the fluffy yellow junk_ . Vanitas didn’t know how this woman knew he liked it that way, because _he_ didn’t even know, but if he was even a smidge a being of the light, he would have been blessing her and maybe even thanking her. The rest of it was good—the bacon crispy and the bread crunchy, but otherwise wholly plain. He scooped up as many red pepper pieces as he could, not wanting to let even one go to waste. 

Aqua laughed a tinkly giggle when he pushed his plate away. “You must have been hungry. You liked the red pepper? I thought I’d give it a try.”

If he had even a little less pride in his dark heart than he did, even just a smidge less, he’d have jumped up and demanded that she only make red peppers and add them to anything and everything. But he didn’t, so instead he said, “they were fine,” and vowed to either break into their kitchen and steal a whole bunch… or go find some place to buy (read: steal) some for himself. 

“That room is still open, you know.”

Vanitas turned up and looked at her, shooting a half-hearted glare for going back to this. This particular conversation was from over a week ago, and he thought he had given her his opinion. “...I told you. I don’t want to be _stalked_.”

“I know,” Aqua said, looking up at the sky. “And that’s… I mean, we still can’t really trust you. We won’t… we won’t, like, stalk you, but we’ll definitely keep an eye out. You’d still be better off. At least then you wouldn’t,” she waved a hand at the stone table blankly, “ _starve_ , and you can just come to the table and eat.”

He made a face at that. This was weird enough, he _refused_ to share a whole table with _all_ the Wayfinders. 

“You know—so you’re not running down to the castle every morning and evening. You’ll already be there.”

He turned his face away, frowning hard. As much as that sounded… nice, he still didn’t want to be stuck around these Wayfinders. No. It was bad enough stuck on the same world as them, to actually live with them? That would be _so_ much worse.

The same Flood from before came up and hopped onto the bench beside him, watching. Aqua cringed and scooted a fraction of an inch away. _That_ was a good excuse. Much as she may have called it _cute_ before, that was when she was over twenty feet away and it was spinning atop some training equipment. _Living_ with an Unversed would be totally different.

“You know, like I said, _no_. I like it out here on the mountain. Besides, I keep my Unversed out, and I don’t think you’d all like that very much.” 

Aqua hesitated, but Vanitas saw the dislike in her eyes, and whatever she said, he knew he had won. He, and perhaps more importantly (to her) the Unversed, would stay up the mountainside. 

He let a self-satisfied smirk cross his face premature. A Blue Sea Salt appeared above his head, so the little Flood hopped off of the bench and chased it about. 

“...Well, alright,” Aqua finally said, forcing her breath out all at once and then putting on an innocent little smile. Vanitas could see her forcing her nerves down, and pretending that Vanitas wasn’t right. “But, if you change your mind. That castle is huge for three people to share, and I don’t think that room will get filled up anytime soon. It’s there for you. It must get lonely up here.”

Another Flood popped up, but it quickly went to chasing the Blue Sea Salt, who was now hovering about ten feet in the air and just out of reach of the jumping Floods. 

“Whatever,” Vanitas said, turning his head away from her so she didn’t see the lie in his eyes (that wasn’t really a lie at all— _Vanitas didn’t get lonely)_. 

Aqua stood, pursing her lips with a sad little smile on her face. “I’ll keep leaving food out for you, but if you want to join us, supper is normally at 6 or 7.”

He didn’t have a watch or a way to tell time, but maybe that was a good thing. He didn’t tell her as much as she collected the plate and silverware. 

She didn’t say anything more, but she did wave her free hand as she left. He didn’t wave back, but either that wasn’t rude, or she wasn’t going to take it to heart. He didn’t care either way. 

The Floods returned to him soon after, the new one pecking at his clothes, while the old one climbed up onto his shoulders to lay behind his neck and possibly take a nap there. He decided not to care and leaned his chin forward on the table to give it a little more room. 

Stupid, confusing Wayfinders.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mandrake - Surprise  
> Shoegazer - Defensive

Eventually, Vanitas decided he didn’t like being followed everywhere, so he dismissed all of the Unversed, including the little Flood who had been with him for days. He wondered vaguely to himself if its memories were gone, or if when another Flood appeared, it would be as… needy. ...Then he decided that he didn’t care, because it wasn’t…  _ cute _ , and he didn’t like it. Definitely did not. The Floods started appearing more frequently, but he dismissed them as they appeared and ignored the reason they were there.

He went down to the castle every morning and night. Like Aqua…  _ asked _ . Sometimes she sat with him, and sometimes she didn’t. He almost always had someone watching him from the windows, though. “Just in case”, he assumed. He’d been here for a few weeks now, and hadn’t done anything, but they wouldn’t get over their stupid fears. It was pathetic. Just because he had attempted to kill them on multiple occasions…  _ honestly _ , couldn’t they tell that stage of his life was over? Master Xehanort wasn’t around to fuck him up and fuck him over anymore.  _ Honestly _ . Ventus had once gotten a second chance, so why couldn't he have one?

…

And why did he care?

He turned around to glare at the castle and decided to himself that he didn’t. The stupid Wayfinders were rubbing off on him. Maybe it was a good thing they weren’t letting him around them. He’d be even more of a wreck. 

He started when a grabby little hand reached out and snagged a piece of lettuce off his plate. He hadn’t even noticed the Flood had appeared. They appeared in droves now, without warning. Telling him something that he didn’t like. A Mandrake popped up beside him on the concrete, but it didn’t do anything, just looked around as if waiting for someone to fight. Vanitas wondered to himself if they were getting bored—always getting called on, only to hang around and do nothing. At least, way back when, they had a purpose. They could hang around on the other worlds to torment the Wayfinders, or even his stupid mirror image. Now? He couldn’t even open a portal to send them to torment some unsuspecting village. 

“So, how is it?” 

Vanitas started yet again, this time three Mandrake appearing and leaping up in tandem. He nearly knocked his plate right off of his lap. Another bad thing about being here: he never used to get startled like this. He was always the one startling everyone else. Maybe he should try and get back at it. Make a habit out of spooking and startling the unsuspecting Wayfinders. 

Except by now, they probably  _ were _ suspecting. 

Aqua stood in the doorway to the castle, eyeing the Unversed on the stoop nervously. She caught sight of the Flood still slowly munching on its piece of lettuce, seemed a little amused by that one. 

“Terra made it this time. His baked potatoes are always  _ so _ good. I don’t know  _ how _ he does them so well.”

Vanitas could agree with that. But he didn’t. Not aloud. Instead he forked a piece of lettuce and said, “why did you feed me a tree.”

“A tree?” Aqua laughed. “Vanitas, it’s just a  _ vegetable.  _ They’re  _ good _ for you. They give you whole bunches of vitamins and minerals. Just like your peppers.”

Vanitas popped the lettuce into his mouth and munched on it—so, so slowly. He felt like a fucking  _ cow _ . “Yeah, well, next time just make it a pepper.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

Vanitas mocked her silently, then set aside the plate and folded his arms over his knees. He shivered a little with the biting wind. It was getting colder. The weather didn’t turn fast in these mountains, never really had if Ventus’ misplaced memories were anything to go by. Something chilly, he assumed rain, was going to be coming for them soon. Whatever it was, he wasn’t looking forward to it. Being wet and soggy and  _ gross _ just was not on the list of things he wanted to do or be. 

“Looks like rain might be in our future.”

Vanitas bit back a scathing  _ duh _ , and decided not to comment on the fact that he had been thinking similarly. She didn’t need to know that she was some sort of… of… of  _ mindreader _ . Instead, he just grunted hard and turned his head away. 

“You maybe have a day until you get poured on though. I have things here if you want to make some kind of shelter.”

He scoffed. A  _ shelter _ . He’d be  _ fine _ . 

Aqua laughed lightly under her breath but didn’t raise her voice so he could hear. “Okay, I guess. Your call.”

* * *

The rains started later that night. It startled Vanitas awake because it hit him suddenly, and it hit him  _ hard _ . The fire went out very suddenly, and Vanitas was left in the dark. He covered his head with his arms and attempted to will his helmet into place, but much like his stupid portals, the damn thing wouldn’t cooperate, and he was left to the mercy of the weather. 

He was freezing in a matter of minutes. 

Within a few minutes, he forced a Red Hot Chili into existence. The Unversed chirped for a second and squawked as soon as it was pounded by rain. It cheeped and crooned and huddled close to Vanitas, far too big to duck beneath his chin but doing its damnedest to do so. 

“Get away from me!” Vanitas spat at the ridiculous little emotion. It cheeped again and clicked an invisible tongue. “Your fire went out and it’s fucking freezing.”

The Unversed clicked again and looked from Vanitas to where he pointed, at the patch of grass previously set aflame. It chirped out a few unintelligible sounds, then the top of it glowed and a flame hit the ground, setting the wet grass aflame. 

It went out instantly afterward.

“Try again.”

It did. The result was the same.

“Try again!”

No difference. The emotion chirped and looked all around, as if looking for a solution. Its red eyes soon fell on the dark castle down the mountain. It chirped happily and started moving toward it, glancing toward Vanitas every few seconds. As if saying,  _ what about there, you can be there _ ?

“No,” Vanitas snapped. “Try again. We’re not going there.” Realized a second too late that he said ‘we’ instead of ‘I’, but decided that since the Unversed materialized at his whim, that meant they technically followed him around always.  _ Technically _ a ‘we’. So he wasn’t wrong. Vanitas didn’t do wrong. 

The Unversed huffed and tried again. It had the same effect.

* * *

Somewhere around an hour and many frustrated attempts for warmth later, and following many many  _ many _ toasty and slightly crispy headbutts from his annoying Unversed, Vanitas stormed down the mountain. The rain was only steadily getting worse, getting so bad his neck was starting to hurt from trying to look up  _ and _ bow his head to the sheets. He decided that he was too cold, and would get absolutely  _ no _ sleep, if he stayed up on the mountain. He would just have to make it clear that he was  _ not _ doing this because he wanted to. Because he most certainly and definitely did  _ not _ want to. 

Even stepping beneath the eave of the castle helped fight off the rain a little. He entertained the idea of sleeping there instead of going inside, but apparently the Unversed was having absolutely  _ none _ of that. It took its whole body and smashed it against the huge front door—not all that loud, but the intent was there. Vanitas groaned and rolled his eyes at the stupid little emotion. 

The Unversed gave it three more tries before Vanitas spotted a cord hanging not far from the door. When he reached over and tugged on it, the whole castle shook with the greeting bell. He smirked, but kept that to himself. 

_ Good morning Wayfinders _ .

A few minutes later, after a few lights flicked on throughout the castle, the door creaked open. Aqua appeared, blue hair a mess, looking partially unamused in her cat head pajamas. She blinked owlishly at him, then said, “good morning.”

“You were wrong about the rain.”

Someone snorted inside, and when Vanitas glanced in, he spotted Terra and Ventus just inside, also looking very  _ very _ tired. Aqua glanced beyond Vanitas, then said, “apparently. Are you asking to stay the night?”

Vanitas glared at her, hating the way she said it. ‘Asking to stay the night’. Making it sound like some sort of sleepover. And secondly, he was not  _ asking _ , he was being moderately polite and  _ telling _ . 

“I don’t want to but my stupid Unversed won’t leave me alone.”

The Red Hot Chili chirped again and floated about his head, happier now that it was no longer bogged down by rain. 

Aqua shook her head and rolled her eyes, turning back indoors. “I’ll grab you a towel.” She held the door open for him, though, and Vanitas stepped for the first time since coming back to life inside the castle, dripping like a leaky faucet. 

The happy little emotion followed directly after, completely unaware that it was unwanted. It chirped at Aqua, and then at Terra and Ventus, and didn’t even notice their disdain. Now that Vanitas’ desire to stop them in their tracks and make their lives as difficult as physically possible was no longer a priority, the ridiculous little pot didn’t seem to mind them at all, even seemed to be making an attempt at friendship. 

Aqua stepped far out of its way, swinging the door back a little further to get away. Vanitas sneered to himself but, since they were offering him refuge from the rain, he decided not to show them. 

Terra, near the staircase headed upstairs, watched him with narrowed eyes. Ventus stood comfortably wrapped in one arm, as if Ventus was a stuffed animal and Terra a security blanket. Again, Vanitas chose not to say anything, although he did shoot his brother a disgruntled look, which Ventus returned wholeheartedly. 

“I’ll be right back,” Aqua said, both to Vanitas, and to Ventus and Terra. She stepped towards the stairs, but turned down a small hallway nearby, probably where a storage closet was located. Terra released Ventus and followed after her, eyes narrow. Ready to argue. Vanitas snorted and watched him go. Whatever he said, Vanitas was here to stay. For. The evening, of course. Once the rain let up, he was gone. 

While they were gone, Ventus simply glared at him. Ventus was a painfully friendly person, but he couldn’t forgive all the damage Vanitas had caused them and their companionship, even if it had been Master Xehanort pulling the strings. And that was his choice; it wouldn’t damper Vanitas’ mood any. 

“What.”

Ventus turned his head away, eyeing the Unversed. He stayed there, though, apparently acting as some sort of guard. Pfft. As if Ventus could take him. 

(Ignoring, of course, that only a week or two ago, he  _ had _ . That didn’t count because Ventus had forced his hand then. And he’d only been alive again for like three days, anyway.  _ Hardly  _ his fault.)

Ventus didn’t stare at him, at least, and averted his eyes from the Unversed as well. Vanitas was making him feel nervous.  _ Good _ . 

Aqua and Terra soon returned, Aqua with two towels in her arms. Terra looked grumpy, and shot a glare at Vanitas, but he said nothing to him and instead put both his arms back around Ventus. He turned Ventus around and steered him back upstairs. Apparently the two of them went off to bed. 

“Here,” Aqua said, approaching him. “Towel off.”

“Terra seems angry.”

“Terra is nervous, and wanted me to remind you that if you try anything— _ anything _ —unsightly, he’ll skewer you on Earthshaker.”

“What a welcoming committee.”

“I wouldn’t expect much better out of him.” Aqua took back one of the towels after it was thoroughly used. “Or Ven.”

“I never expect much out of Ventus.”

Aqua sighed, eyeing his Unversed up and down. “Does it have to be here?”

“Is it making you uncomfortable?”

“To be honest,” Aqua said, nodding softly. “A little bit.”

“...Then yes.”

Aqua glared for a moment and apparently had to look away. Tired Aqua was not good at taking jokes. “Whatever. Come on. Yours is this way.”

“I’m only here until the rain lets up.”

“Okay.” She didn’t say that she didn’t believe him. Whatever she thought, he would just as soon jump out of a window if they tried anything. He wouldn’t be trapped anywhere, by  _ anyone _ , anymore. 

* * *

Three days later and the fucking rain didn’t let up. The Wayfinders gathered in the Great Hall wrapped up in blankets and watched the rain fall. Vanitas, obviously, didn’t care to join them. Wouldn’t have been welcome anyway. He huddled up in the room that Aqua gave him and watched it all from his window. By morning, he was far too toasted, so dismissed his happy little Red Hot Chili. Apparently Aqua in particular couldn’t stand the chill, so they kept the castle constantly  _ hot _ . By the second night stuck here, kicking off the blankets didn’t help and he woke up sweating again. 

By the third night, he felt thoroughly followed. He glanced up and over his shoulder constantly, eyes  _ always _ on him even though whomever watched him was effectively sneaky and hid away. Vanitas tried to catch them in the act (so he could yell and make a scene and find an excuse good enough for them and himself to storm back up the mountainside, especially since the rain was finally starting to let up), but they always slipped out of sight. When Vanitas stormed down to nab supper and dragged it back up to his room, none of the Wayfinders could look at him except Aqua, who was used to his shit. But even her looks weren’t so… so  _ feely _ . He couldn’t explain it, but it wasn’t the same. 

Aqua checked on him periodically, both as a precautionary measure and to make sure he was doing alright. It was… nice of her? He supposed. He told her it was all fine and everything because he didn’t want her hanging around, and the heat was never fixed. 

That third night, he pushed out a Blue Sea Salt, who happily twittered around his room as if it knew there was no danger. It watched out his window at the rain, followed Vanitas to the nearby washroom (although he did  _ not _ let it in), and then once Vanitas climbed into bed, it sat on the shelf above his head. At his request, it happily started snowing on him—nothing heavy of course, just enough that it turned the room comfortably cool.  _ That _ was nice—the cool air around him, the warm blankets, cloud-like bed (absolutely  _ heavenly)  _ beneath him… he’d probably kill to feel like this every day. No wait, scratch that—he’d  _ definitely _ kill to feel like this every day. 

Sometime around high moon, though, he was awoken by his Unversed startling hard and bringing the room to be  _ much _ colder than necessary. 

“What are you  _ doing _ ?” Vanitas asked, turning over in bed to glare up at the emotion. It was staring at the dark doorway, eyes narrowed even more than usual. What was wrong with it? It looked… threatened. 

Was one of the Wayfinders on their way to end his life? He could only assume. He turned over and got his knees beneath him, bringing his right hand back to call Void Gear into existence. The dark blade manifested in hand, and he waited on an attack. Whichever Wayfinder attacked, whether it was Aqua, Terra, or Ventus, he would end them. He would  _ run _ , even with the rain. Didn’t they say that self-preservation made you a little stronger? He’d kill anyone who tried  _ anything _ . 

And he waited. 

Then, much to his surprise, a fat, fuzzy head peeked around his doorframe, and asked a dreaded question that Vanitas wasn’t expecting. 

“...Ventus?”

“You wish.”

The head turned on its side, and wiggled its little pink nose. It stepped away from the door frame and into the room. It was a ridiculous looking creature, an anthropomorphic cat of some sort. It had soft eyes and what looked like softer fur. It wore a pink pouch around its neck.

“...You feel like Ventus,” it said softly. 

“Well, I’m  _ not _ ,” Vanitas snapped. He lowered Void Gear, but didn’t drop it yet. Just in case. “I’m his better half.”

Somehow, the cat laughed. “You don’t look like his half! You look like this boy I met in the Final World. But you feel like Ventus. A sad, angry, and lonely Ventus.”

_ Sad?!? Lonely?!? _ What did this creature know? He was  _ fine _ , thank you very much. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. What are you even supposed to be? You look like a bad joke.”

Again, it just laughed. It hopped a little closer. “I’m a Chirithy! If you’re not Ventus, who are you?”

“Vanitas.”  _ An abomination beyond hope of salvation. _

“Vanitas,” the Chirithy said. “Well, Vanitas, it’s nice to meet you! I’ve been watching you because I didn’t know.”

“ _ You’ve _ been the one following me? What are you, some sort of stalker?”

“I suppose if you want to say that.” The Chirithy hopped up close to Vanitas, who had since vanished Void Gear. It didn’t look even remotely threatened or even put off by Vanitas’ attitude. He wasn’t sure just how he felt about that. “It’s my job to look out for my Keyblade wielder! Mine’s Ventus, but I felt very drawn to you, too, and I thought there must be a reason.”

_ Keyblade wielder _ . Vanitas would hardly call himself that. His blade was a fake Keyblade at best—one created through darkness alone. Even Ventus’ was real, and not some ridiculous pure light half-keyblade. Obviously, his was better, for reasons he didn’t know but it clearly  _ was _ , but he was well aware that his wasn’t a real keyblade. Master Xehanort had forced so much into him, before and after the events of a decade prior. 

“Well you’ve got the wrong person.”

“I don’t think so! My heart says I’m supposed to assist you, and it’s better at knowing that stuff than my head is.”

“Well then your heart’s broken.”

The Chirithy cocked its head to the side, considering Vanitas. Vanitas, for one,  _ really _ didn’t like where this conversation was going. “No, but I think that maybe yours is.”

“...Fuck off.”

“And you know,” the stupid cat went on, ignoring the anger overflowing Vanitas’ voice. Didn’t much seem to care that it was getting Vanitas steadily angrier,  _ definitely _ didn’t care that Vanitas had pulled out Void Gear once more. “But I don’t think you’re ready to recognize that yet. It’s okay. Ventus got his broken heart fixed by a friend when he needed it most. Maybe you can, too.”

“Get  _ out _ !” Vanitas swiped Void Gear at the cat, but it hopped out of the way, not even remotely threatened. It turned to the door and headed out quickly, before Vanitas could make a second move. 

“Good night, Vanitas! Think about it!”

He did. Involuntarily. The rest of the goddamn night. 

* * *

Come morning, the rains apparently stopped. Vanitas awoke from a half-doze to the sun rising and shining on his blankets. He must have finally passed out sometime late, but the stupid cat’s words made his sleep restless at best. Gunk stuck at the corners of his eyes and his hair was even bushier than usual. 

Stupid cat. His heart wasn’t  _ broken _ . It was fine just the way it was. In fact, he liked it that way. 

_ Didn’t he _ ?

He decided he was sick of thinking on that. All night was plenty of thought,  _ thank you _ . 

Stupid Chirithy. What did it even know?

“The rain’s gone.”

Vanitas nearly jumped out of his skin, fighting to reign himself back in and shoot a glare to the door without even knowing who was there. Two Mandrakes popped up at his side, nearly as startled as he.

Terra leaned on the door frame, already dressed. Earthshaker was held loosely in hand, as if he fully intended on carrying out the threat that Aqua had (not so) kindly informed him of the night it started raining. Vanitas hadn’t even done anything  _ wrong _ . Weren’t they supposed to be good, now?

“Don’t any of you jackasses know how to  _ knock _ ? I mean for fuck’s sake, even  _ I _ know how to fucking knock.”

Terra snorted, unimpressed. He crossed his arms over his chest. Earthshaker still hung loosely, a threat of violence. “The rain’s gone,” he said again. 

“Glad your eyes are working right, I guess.”

Terra’s angered gaze dropped into a heated glare. “You said you’d be gone when the rain let up. It has. Get out.”

“Fuck you, I’ll leave when I want,” Vanitas spat. A Shoegazer appeared on the bed next to him. The Blue Sea Salt started making a little sound similar to a growl, though Terra didn’t react to it. Probably didn’t hear it at all. 

“This isn’t your  _ place _ to  _ decide _ that,” Terra snarled.

“Isn’t yours, either! If I remember correctly,  _ Aqua _ is the  _ Master _ of this place. She seems to like me.”

Terra rolled his eyes hard, face set. “ _ Don’t kid yourself, _ ” he muttered under his breath. “Aqua said I could kick you out as soon as the skies cleared.” He pointed out Vanitas’ window, to the blue sky. “It has, so get out.”

“Fuck off, no she didn’t.”

“Wanna bet?” Terra’s eyes glowed with fury. 

No, Vanitas actually didn’t want to take that bet. All the Wayfinders were glued together at the fucking hip. No doubt Terra knew what Aqua wanted better than Vanitas did. Though why they wouldn’t want him around was beyond him.

_ Try masterful manipulation and violence and insults and ripping their friendship limb from limb— _ But Vanitas didn’t want to think on that.

Vanitas kicked off his covers and dissolved both the Shoegazer and the Blue Sea Salt. Fine, they wanted him gone? Fuck them, he’d even skip breakfast.  _ That _ would show them. 

_ What—that he was easy to lose? As if _ .

“Fine. I can see when I’m not wanted.”

“Not clearly enough.”

Vanitas kindly flipped him the bird. He shoved past the taller man, kicking Earthshaker in spite, and stalked down the hallway. When Terra called “you’re welcome for letting you stay the past couple nights!”, he flipped him the other bird, and didn’t drop either finger until he was well out the front door. 


	4. Chapter 4

Once again, Vanitas didn’t come down to the castle. He fed on his Unversed, slept on his hidden crag, and ignored any attempt any of the Wayfinders made to contact him. He didn’t really leave his crag at all, actually. Floods were making themselves annoyingly present, taking up any extra space left on the crag, even climbing up the walls surrounding or falling off the sides. Well. At least, he decided, it made access to meals exceptionally easy. Even if the very notion of their existence made him curse himself and his stupid, stupid,  _ stupid _ emotions. How did each individual Unversed only increase the emotion it represented? Why didn’t they take a fraction of its emotion and chase it away? Especially this emotion in particular.

Vanitas wasn’t  _ lonely _ , he couldn’t be  _ lonely _ . He was surrounded by his stupid Floods at pretty much all hours of the day. There was no way it was  _ possible _ . 

Even if, just maybe, sometimes it felt like it. Deep, deep in his dark heart, in a place no one would ever know about it. 

The Wayfinders made repeated attempts to “check on him”. Whether they were trying to decide if he was up to no good, or was doing alright on his own, he didn’t know (but he could assume). But they always came up to the summit, closer to his crag, and called for him. 

He never answered. Wasn’t too pleased that Aqua had told his brother and the lughead about his crag, but of course he didn’t say that either. They didn’t care that much, and he didn’t care that they didn’t care. He was no friend of theirs and they were  _ certainly _ no friends of his. He didn’t need them, not in any way, shape, or form. 

(The stupid Chirithy wouldn’t believe him, but he decided that that didn’t matter because he’d never see it again.)

Then, one evening, who else but Aqua somehow appeared on his crag with a smile. Startled him so bad he nearly plummeted to his death. She had to carefully step around the swarming Floods, but she didn’t seem as put off by them as she usually did.

“What do you want,” Vanitas snapped, a hand clutched over his dark heart. The two Mandrake who appeared at his side hissed silently at her, their leaves clinging to his neck and head so they stayed perched on his shoulders.

“I’ve noticed something about you.”

“No. Fuck off.”

Aqua rolled her eyes. His language didn’t bother her at all. Should he crank it up? “You were all too willing,” she went on, “to insult us and isolate yourself, to in general be an ass even as we offered you our home when you needed it. But then as soon as we responded to your… actions, by isolating you or getting defensive and even a little offended, you throw some sort of fit. You fight and fight and  _ fight _ to not make us like you, and you fight to make us want to kick you out, but as soon as we do, you act personally offended. Why is that, do you think?”

“Fuck if I know. Don’t even know what you're talking about.”

Aqua puffed out a breath, took a step forward. The mass of Floods writhed around her; she seemed none too pleased. “Terra is sorry.”

“No he isn’t. What even for?”

“He said that he knew he was a little… rough, with you. I had told him that if you made him and Ven uncomfortable, they could ask you to leave once the rain cleared.”

“Well, he did.”

“He did.” Aqua looked around his space, glanced toward the Summit, and then their home. “He’s trying, though. To let the past… stay in the past, where it belongs. Ven is, too. You have to know there will be struggles, but the both of them were willing to acknowledge that you had been manipulated ten years ago, and even only recently.”

“I don’t get manipulated.”

“No, of course not.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Vanitas demanded, taking a step back until his heels reached the edge of his crag. “Why do I care if Ventus and Terra are trying?”

Aqua sighed hard, then put on her best smile. “I think you should come and live with us. At the castle.”

“What? No, fuck off.”

“It’ll be warm and dry. You won’t be alone.”

“I’m not  _ alone _ ,” Vanitas said, kicking at a pile of Floods gathering at his feet. “I’ve got seventy of these fuckers everywhere that I go.”

“Of course not,” Aqua said again, more than a little exasperated.

“Besides, I  _ want _ to be alone,” Vanitas snapped. “If I could get the hell off this mountain, I’d be fucking gone.”

“Vanitas, no one wants to be alone,” Aqua hummed. “They might want to have some time to themselves, and that’s fine. That’s why you will have your own room, with a door that locks and everything. But no one wants to be alone forever. Even those weeks where I just don’t want to talk to  _ anybody _ , knowing that someone was there and ready for me whenever I finally  _ was _ ready, made the whole world seem less daunting.”

“I want to be alone. I want to be alone  _ now _ .”

“Come back to the castle,” Aqua said, extending her hand out to him. “I can’t promise you that everything will be perfect, but we’ll try, and it’ll be better than this.”

Aqua wrinkled her nose and glanced around. Then she turned back up to him with soft eyes, and Vanitas saw everything that he didn’t want to. 

She  _ pitied  _ him. 

Vanitas was many, many things. But above all else, he was a proud creature, and he  _ would not _ be pitied.

“No,” Vanitas snapped, knocking her hand away. “I don’t need your fucking pity.”

“It’s not pity, it’s just a hand.”

_ As. If _ . “I don’t need your help, either!”

Aqua actually laughed. “It’s not help, either! I know you don’t need it, you’ve clearly got everything under control. It’s just… the start of a friendship. That’s all it is.” 

...Friendship? Vanitas had never had a  _ friend _ , not even once. Hadn’t really wanted them before. Friends seemed like an obnoxious task to keep up with every day. He didn’t like people enough to do that, and in the end the reward reaped wouldn’t be enough to cover all the work. What was friendship, anyway? A bond? Hadn’t they had that in the Real Organization XIII? That was not an experience worth repeating. 

But… his dark heart was warming. Just a smidgen. Maybe friendship was different than all that. He had had a bond with Ventus, a long time ago. It hadn’t been friendship, more along the lines of “you and I used to be the same person and we should be that again”, and Ventus surely hadn’t felt it, but it had been there.

Maybe… maybe friendship would be worth trying. 

No, that was ridiculous. Friendship was a promise he didn’t have the time nor desire to make. It was broken promises and late nights and long days. It was energy wasted on trivial things like love and pals and other people. It was helping the other when they were stuck, it was… was… 

_ Maybe they can get you off this mountain _ .

It was worth a shot. For now. 

“Think about it?” Aqua asked sweetly, turning her head a little. Her smile was so bright it blinded. “At least come back down to the castle for suppers. I’ll leave a fourth place out for you at the table. You can sit with us, and you can get used to us and we can get used to you.”

“...I’ll think about it.”

“Good.” Aqua turned back around and called out Rainfell. “Breakfast is at eight in the morning, think you’ll be up by then?” 

Vanitas eyed the blue keyblade warily, waiting for an attack, but she merely cast Aeroga and hopped down, to let the wind magic carry her safely down to the training grounds. Didn’t even wait for his answer. 

* * *

He did make it down for breakfast, thank you very much. Ventus and Terra glared at him, the ridiculous Chirithy happily greeted him, and Aqua waved hello without a word. He politely didn’t say anything, and only shot glares around when he felt Ventus’ or Terra’s glares on him. He pointedly didn't say anything to Chirithy or Aqua, and there was precious little conversation between the castle occupants. All in all, it made for a very awkward first shared meal. 

But still, and Vanitas would not admit this to himself let alone the Wayfinders, it was nice. Being in the castle for a meal, not hiding away. It wasn’t friendly in the slightest, but after Aqua’s offer of friendship the night prior, it was still pretty warm. Pretty nice. 

He made himself scarce soon afterward, without a thank you. He could see something along the lines of “we need to talk” hidden behind thick layers of nerves in Ventus’ eyes, and there was not even a thing that Ventus wanted to say to him, that Vanitas wanted to hear. Plain and simple. So he ducked back up the mountain to the training grounds, where he let a nervous Scrapper free. The Scrapper hung around him, following him closely up to the summit to make his climb to his crag easier. 

For the first time, there were no Floods quick to pop out. Which was very odd, since they were normally the first out and the most numerous. He decided that didn’t mean anything, because if it did, he surely wouldn’t like it. 

Eight mornings and nights passed like that. Meals spent in the castle, but his own (what, nerves? emotions? Vanitas didn’t get  _ nervous _ , not about  _ this _ ) attitude kept him from staying long. By the second morning, Terra and Ventus apparently got comfortable ignoring him and struck up conversations on their own. Ventus was talking about some of the “other Soras”, whomever they were, while Terra told him about seeing if King Mickey could continue his training to be a Master. 

Vanitas didn’t know a King Mickey off the top of his head, but he did glance at Aqua to see what the only Master thought. Aqua’s gaze was thoughtful, but not at all offended. Maybe she agreed. 

The Chirithy was the only one who actively struck up conversation with Vanitas, and Vanitas made a point to ignore it. After its observations from the rainy night, he wasn’t too keen on letting it anywhere near him. He  _ especially _ didn’t want the Wayfinders to know that his heart was ( _ not! was NOT! _ ) broken. 

Still, despite the feeling of being ignored, despite the cat doing its best to make him uncomfortably not ignored… he found himself enjoying these meals. Even almost looked forward to them.  _ Almost _ . 

The skies remained clear after the torrential downpour, so Vanitas assumed that was just the weather pattern of the area. Maybe even had something to do with the mountain itself. Still, it made it easy to sit outside after supper and watch the stars twinkle and shine, and since the castle often went dark not long after sunfall, there were no artificial lights to block them out. He found himself amusing himself—sometimes with a Blue Sea Salt, sometimes with a Flood, sometimes on his own—by leaning back and getting an eyeful. 

For literally sitting up there doing absolutely nothing, it was surprisingly enjoyable.

Then one evening, after supper, he had a late night visitor. It was as he was watching the stars, so he was startled by a faint “ _ Aeroga! _ ” and someone with metal shoes touching down on his crag. 

He glanced over and groaned aloud.

_ Ventus _ .

“Vanitas,” Ventus greeted. 

“Brother.”

Ventus flinched, but didn’t back away. What was this moron doing up here? When Ventus didn’t move, Vanitas scoffed and rolled his eyes back toward the sky. The stars were far more interesting to watch. 

Only a moment later, Ventus took a seat, his legs dangling off the crag. He was on the opposite side of the crag from Vanitas, and the air around him was growing steadily more and more uncomfortable, but he didn’t move. 

Together, for the first time ever, they watched the stars, co-existing without attacking. Vanitas wouldn’t say the experience was  _ troubling _ , exactly, but it was… odd. What was Ventus up to? 

They didn’t speak, which suited Vanitas just fine. If Ventus had to be here, and for one reason or another he  _ did _ , then it would be done in silence. 

Soon, the moon shone from directly overhead. A Flood had appeared beside him, but that wasn’t out of sheer emotion so much as Vanitas’ desire to entertain his hands while Ventus was so nearby. The Flood was curled up in his lap like a little cat, enjoying the way Vanitas’ hand ran from the base of its antennae all the way down its spine. Ventus had yet to make a comment on such a sight. Vanitas vaguely hoped he hadn’t noticed.

His hopes were quickly dashed when Ventus took one big breath, put a nervous hand on his leg, and turned to Vanitas. “Look.”

“What,” Vanitas didn’t ask. He twirled an antenna around his finger. The Flood crooned softly and turned its little head toward Vanitas’ hand. 

Ventus’ lips twitched into a frown, eyeing the Unversed warily. Vanitas figured it would be a very long while before any of the Wayfinders accepted his emotional companions. But that, he decided, was on them. 

“We don’t like you,” Ventus finally said after a minute long staring contest with the sleepy Flood. “Terra doesn’t, I don’t, and even Aqua’s on the fence. I don’t even get why she’s so keen to you already.”

“It’s probably because I’m a fucking delight,” Vanitas spat. Ventus had invaded his space to give him information he already knew? He was almost one hundred percent certain that he didn’t need to know any of this. Honestly. People need to learn to keep their sourpussing to themselves.

Ventus snorted hard and drew his feet up onto the crag, resting his chin on his knees. “Sure. We don’t like you. But Chirithy… I don’t know when you met it, but Chirithy sees something in you. Dream Eaters like Chirithy would follow their master’s hearts and be corrupted by darkness if they fell. But it hasn’t yet. It feels like it’s attached to you, and it hasn’t fallen yet. And I figure… I figure that means you can’t be all bad.”

_ Attached _ ? That stupid cat was attached to him? That’s lame. It hardly knew him (although it wasn’t good at showing as much), and when they spoke, it had proceeded to insult him (and he had been scarcely better). How could it be attached to him? If it was actually Ventus’, then it should probably hate him for splitting Ventus’ heart in two.

Ventus waited another moment, watching Vanitas absorb what he gave, and then went on. “Chirithy is a surprisingly good judge of character. It doesn’t like people it feels like it can’t trust. It won’t talk to them. But it talked to you, at length, apparently. It feels like it can trust you. And… and I trust it.”

The air around them was turning a little foul, although not as foul as Vanitas had expected. If Ventus trusted it, and Chirithy trusted Vanitas… did that mean that, by extension, Ventus trusted Vanitas?

Was that how trust even worked? He didn’t think so, but there wasn’t much that Vanitas knew about trust. Master Xehanort had never trusted him with much, and in return Vanitas hadn’t trusted Master Xehanort with much of anything. He hadn’t wanted to be around the man much in one sitting. The creepy aura that the man gave off was worse than Vanitas’, topped off with the distinct feeling that Master Xehanort really thought that what he was doing was  _ right _ . 

At least when Vanitas did wrong, he did it without fooling himself. He was doing wrong, and he knew he was doing wrong. He figured it was some sort of influence from his time as Ventus. Like somehow, Ventus was reaching across space and time to give him a conscience. Seemed like a wasted effort when Vanitas simply ignored it. 

Again, Ventus waited for Vanitas to finish thinking. He gave him some time, and then said, “I think you should come and stay at the castle.”

Vanitas snorted so hard he thought his brains might just shoot out of his nose. Ventus didn’t think that. “You just want me nearby so that when I inevitably fuck up and breathe in the wrong direction, you can Ars Arcanum me back into nonexistence.”

Ventus frowned with one side of his mouth, thoughtful as if he seriously considered the possibility of Vanitas’ idea. “No,” he said a few seconds too late, “we won’t do that. You’ll need to seriously mess up to get Ars Arcanumed.”

Vanitas shot him a glare and didn’t respond.

“Besides, no one should  _ have _ to live out here. I mean if you really want to, like  _ really really _ want to, then I guess I can’t stop you, but Terra chased you out before and me and Aqua didn’t really… help, and that’s not fair. So if you…  _ want _ , you can. We won’t get in your way. And we won’t…  _ stalk _ you.”

“No, you’ll just come in and check on me every thirty minutes,” Vanitas said with a dark frown. And wasn’t that basically the same thing?

“I mean…”

Vanitas shot him another glare and turned away roughly. The Flood made a little squeak of pain when his fingernails clenched in its back. He didn’t loosen yet. 

“You know, it’s actually kinda been nice having you for suppers,” Ventus supplied, leaning to the side just a tad and putting his weight on a hand to his side. “Not like. A lot, but such a big castle, such a big table gets lonely when it’s just us. Most of our new friends are too weary to make the long journey to come visit us. Dark corridors don’t work, they don’t have gummi ships anymore, things like that. So having you to fill up an extra seat at the table has been nice. And you haven’t been a  _ total _ ass yet.”

Something like a weak little laugh left Vanitas, glancing to his brother, brows pushed toward his hair. “...Didn’t know you knew how to cuss.” Was it bad that  _ that _ , out of anything, was warming him up to Ventus? He didn’t think so.

Ventus was the one to snort this time. “Aqua may think I’m an angel, but somehow  _ you _ came out of me. I figure I probably got it from you.”

A sly grin chased away his frown. He pulled his nails from the poor Flood’s back, the little emotion relaxing in his lap. “Proud of that.”

Ventus rolled his eyes, but there was a smile over his face. Vanitas realized that this was probably the first time that Ventus had…  _ smiled _ around him. Something like warmth was bubbling in his chest, but he decided he didn’t like it, and chased it away. 

“So… will you? Come move in with us? You spent long enough in that room; you clearly liked it. And we won’t, like, force you to spend time with us. It’s better than living alone out here.”

“Why are you guys trying  _ so fucking hard _ to get me to live with you?” It had to be to keep an eye on him. They thought him evil and, way back when before their long sleep, they had hated him. Terra still hated and distrusted him. It didn’t make any sense. Why would they even  _ want _ to be... friends with him? 

“Because,” Ventus said simply. He moved his hands around behind him and tilted his head back, looking up at the stars again. “Being alone sucks ass. Being lonely,” he lifted a hand to twitter it in the general direction of the Unversed. The Unversed lifted its snout and watched the movement, but made no move to go for him. “Sucks even worse. It wasn’t fun. We’re still… still  _ mad _ about a lot of things, but we’re also trying to figure out our other emotions too. It’s hard, after a decade asleep, possessed, and wandering in the Realm of Darkness. It… skews things.”

It skews things sleeping in the heart of a boy whose personality could not be more totally opposite of yours too, he didn’t say. But Ventus had a point. Things were… skewed. Things were different. Not just in him, but among the Wayfinders, too. 

“I just…” Ventus went on, closing his eyes. Vanitas closed his, too. “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”

“...Aqua said that, too.” 

Ventus’ soft smile turned very sad, a little sigh falling from his mouth. “...Yeah. Aqua knows about loneliness most of all.”

Vanitas hummed under his breath. He remembered what she said when she invited him to move in, when she found him atop the spinner, and he pulled his memories of his copycat from when he and the new Master rescued Aqua. He supposed that she probably did know a thing or two.

“C’mon.” Ventus recovered himself and opened his eyes, glancing to Vanitas whose eyes opened too. “You’ll have a better chance of messing with us when you’re living with us…”

Hadn’t Ventus said that if he  _ did _ mess with them, he’d pay for it? And now, what, he was  _ encouraging _ it? So was he a liar, or just stupid? 

Maybe a little bit of both. 

“I’m comfortable.”

“These rocks are hurting my ass and I’ve only been out here for like an hour. Don’t lie.”

Funny. Vanitas barely noticed anymore. Then again, he had found a cement staircase particularly comfortable and regularly slept on a bed of nothing but grass with not much problem. Maybe they had different ideas of comfortable. 

(Or maybe Vanitas was a little too proud of something not necessary to be proud of. But he didn’t think that, at least not a second time.)

“Baby.”

Ventus scoffed, but again the irritation was minimal. Somehow, in some bizarre fashion, was Ventus warming up to him? Those idiot Wayfinders could really make friends with just about anybody, huh? He stood and dusted off the seat of his pants. “Whatever. I’m going back if you wanna come with me.”

Vanitas snorted. Just like that? “I think I’ll pass.”

Ventus hesitated, half turning away in a way that said turning his back on Vanitas maybe wasn’t the best idea. But Vanitas was perfectly at peace here, thank you very much. He had no reason to attack Ventus, and no desire for that matter. 

Apparently not knowing what else to do, Ventus just sighed, and then he did turn. “Well, you know where to go if you change your mind. G’night.” And like that, he leapt off of the crag, cast Aeroga under his feet, and was returning to the castle safely. 

G’night?  _ G’night _ ? Had he just—

For a second, Vanitas didn’t know what to do or say. Ventus was long gone, but it felt… wrong? To leave him hanging? That was weird. Why did he care? 

Why had Ventus said that? It wasn’t a thing that people just  _ said _ to people… was it? 

So, Ventus was long gone, but Vanitas didn’t care. He felt a little weird, but he ignored that, turning his face down to his remaining companion. It also kind of felt good that Ventus had looked at the little Flood, and hadn’t been afraid of it. They weren’t exactly terrifying Unversed, but the way that even Aqua had avoided the Unversed she met told more than enough about the way they felt about them. So that Ventus had acknowledged the strange little emotion, with no fear... it was almost welcoming. 

More welcoming than being offered a room. 

Maybe, just maybe, things on this world wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe, when he got the chance to leave, he wouldn’t jump  _ quite _ so instantly at the chance. Maybe. 

“...Good night.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jellyshade - Relaxed  
> Flood - Lonely  
> Scrapper - Nervous  
> Vile Phial - Annoyed  
> Red Hot Chili - Jealous  
> Yellow Mustard - Embarrassed

“We have three rules,” Aqua said, leading Vanitas back up to the room he had occupied. “one) No real weapons. None of us are up to snuff right now. If you want to spar, fine. We have wooden ones. Maybe, once we’re all in shape that’ll change, but _no_ real weapons. And _especially_ if you’re angry.”

_Lame_ , Vanitas didn’t say. He followed mostly silent, now actually getting a good look around since this was to be his mostly permanent residence. The castle was _huge_. He’d been here before, both over a decade ago and in recent weeks, but he’d had a task both times. No time for sightseeing. Now he was able to see the way the ceiling arched and reached for the sky a hundred feet above their heads. The room they were in, the Great Hall, was the tallest room in the castle, and the biggest. This was also where Terra and Aqua had held their exams, if he remembered correctly. Ventus had slept just behind the throne. 

Though the castle was confusing, there was a certain kind of beauty in its twists and turns that Vanitas had never noticed before. 

A couple Jellyshades floated behind him, silent, barely moving but to expand and deflate their caps to follow along. They floated on some nonexistent wind but, as if tied to him with fishing wire, they followed right along. Aqua was eyeing them a little nervously, but for the most part didn’t seem to mind them. Probably because the Jellyshades were easy, and even when he had opposed the Wayfinders outright, they hadn’t really made to attack but occasionally. It wasn’t in their nature. 

“Two,” Aqua went on. Vanitas didn’t admit that he forgot she had been talking. “No darkness.”

“Well, I _am_ Darkness. Might as well just kick me out now.”

Aqua shot him a glare. Again with the not taking jokes. “I am serious about that one, Vanitas. No darkness. With Terra fresh off possession, and me… well, right now we just can’t do it. Okay? No dark corridors—”

“Still can’t make ‘em.”

“No dark powers.”

“I haven’t been able to use any powers since I got here.”

“No _nothing_. Is that understood?”

Vanitas sighed heavily and shot her a look. They seemed like stupid rules, and no doubt Vanitas would break them at least once if not on multiple occasions, but they were the “rules” of this castle, and if he was to live here, he was expected to follow them, like a good little follower of light. “Yes.”

Aqua nodded. “Good.” Then she paused, shaking her head, and said, “besides, you’re not all darkness. Because Ventus isn’t all Light. Maybe you’re mostly darkness, and maybe Ven’s mostly light, but one can’t exist without the other. I’m sure you’ve got a little light in there somewhere.” 

“Yeah, he’s upstairs probably napping because he could sleep like the dead and still be tired.”

“Not what I mean,” Aqua said with a sigh, but she turned back around and started heading back toward his room. “Three, show up for meals. Even if you don’t want to eat, even if you don’t want to be with other people. Just be with us and bring your blanket in to hide under. We’ve all been… struggling, since we got home, and we thought that the best way to check in on one another was to have set times to actually be with one another. Okay? Three simple, easy rules. Think you can handle that?”

“Well, I won’t make any promises.”

“...But you’ll try your best?”

Vanitas scoffed, although the action was admittedly not as snarky as usual. He _supposed_ he’d try. Since they were giving him a home. Even Master Xehanort had never given him that much. 

He didn’t answer, but he didn’t have to, apparently. They stopped at the door he had used before, which was closed. Aqua turned back to him, eyeing the Unversed behind him. “And one more.”

_Just three rules_? Vanitas snorted to himself. Couldn't count?

“ _Please_ try to keep your… little friends in here. Do your best.”

Vanitas glanced back to his own Unversed, a representation of his emotions whether he liked it or not. “I don’t… really have control of that. They show up with my emotions. Up on the mountain, the stupid Floods were showing up every other second.” He manifested a Flood to show, the little critter quickly hooking into his ill fitting clothing to perch on his shoulder. 

Aqua frowned, watching the Flood as it pecked at his hair. Something like curiosity was in her eyes. “...What does this one… mean?”

Vanitas gritted his teeth, face going just a little shade of red darker. He did _not_ want to tell her that ( _Lonely they represent loneliness but he was Vanitas and he didn’t need anybody or anything he just needed to be on his own he didn’t get lonely_ ) and she didn’t really even need to know. “Doesn’t matter.”

Aqua hummed, but didn’t press. “Okay. Well, get settled. We’re going to start training again, soon. To get back into shape. If you want to join us.”

Vanitas doubted that the rest of the castle occupants would appreciate him coming in to fight them. Xehanort had trained him brutally, and he really didn’t want that again. Sometimes it felt like parts of him were still recovering. “I’ll pass.” 

Aqua’s lips twitched, but she didn’t entirely frown. “Your loss.”

Vanitas didn’t respond to that, nor to her half-hearted wave as she headed back toward her real friends. He let loose the Scrapper that had started poking at his brain, and turned to take a seat on the bed. He melted into it for a moment, then curled up atop the covers. With no real belongings to call his own, he was fully unpacked. 

It was still a little toasty, but not warm enough to need a Blue Sea Salt yet. He didn’t mind the heat as much in the day, but trying to sleep with it would be difficult. 

With the Scrapper anxiously guarding the door (and yes, he _did_ warn it about the bizarre cat thing Chirithy, he did not want to get told things about himself that he didn’t want to know), he closed his eyes and relaxed back onto the bed, marvelling at the warmth of having some place, even if it was only about twelve feet square and completely unpersonalized, to call his own.

* * *

Vanitas did as asked and came down for supper, but mostly because he didn’t want one of the Wayfinders to creep on him and invade his space. Aqua had made it clear that he was to be with them for supper, and he had a feeling she or one of the others wouldn’t be against dragging him out if he didn’t show. With no dark powers, and the “rules” still in place, he stood little chance against the Master or those in training. 

It had been Terra’s night to cook, apparently. He made some sort of casserole. It smelled very good ( _very_ good), but Vanitas certainly wouldn’t say so much. Terra grunted when he spotted their new companion, but otherwise made no greeting to him. Aqua smiled at him, pleased he had listened, as she set the table. Ventus, meanwhile, was already sitting down and staring intently at his Gummiphone, texting back and forth with someone. 

“Ventus, hun, phone down please,” Aqua said, looking distinctly unpleased. Her phone was stowed away in a backpocket of her shorts. 

“I’m texting Xion.”

Xion? Vanitas knew that name. Sort of. Why? Was it from his time in the Real Organization? That sounded… right. That doll. She had gone mostly unnamed for much of her time with them, only up until the end when she finally revealed her face and Saïx told them her name. She had had a change of heart when she apparently spotted her old friends, and had become some sort of pseudo-Guardian of Light. Why was he texting her?

“That’s not what I asked,” Aqua hummed, although she seemed to understand a little more than what Ventus said.

“Something happened.”

Terra was just sitting down after laying out a dish of varying veggies. Vanitas noticed, pleased, that there were cut up peppers pushed a little closer to him. “What happened?”

“Dunno yet. Sora’s gummiship came back but that’s all she said.” 

What the fuck was a _gummiship_? Vanitas had heard Ventus mention it before, a few nights ago when they stargazed together, but he had no more idea then what it was, than he did now. 

The fact, though, that Ventus had specified Sora’s _gummiship_ put plenty of worry over Aqua and Terra’s faces, and it was thick in Ventus’ voice. Something was wrong. 

Terra passed him a plate. Last, of course, but Vanitas didn’t care to read into it. He didn’t dare to thank him, either, but he doubted that anyone actually expected him to. 

Ventus continued texting through supper. Vanitas watched him, more than a little curious. None of the Wayfinders more than glanced at their phone during supper, the number of times that he’d eaten with them. With him occupied, supper was a silent affair, except the tapping of the phone, and utensils on plates. 

About halfway through supper, Ventus gasped hard and dropped his phone onto the table, startling the Wayfinders. Vanitas had been watching his mood souring, so he wasn’t _that_ surprised, but…

“Kairi came home.”

Aqua breathed out a little sigh, sharing a smile with Terra. “That’s a relief. They’re home safe?”

Ventus just slowly shook his head, in a way that had even Vanitas’ stomach dropping to his toes. Vanitas didn’t know them, but he knew a thing or two about emotions. “No,” Ventus went on after a moment. “Just Kairi. Sora’s… Sora’s gone.”

* * *

They left, after that. Apparently they had planned to have some sort of party after Sora brought this Kairi person home, the whole lot of the Guardians, but now they couldn’t. Vanitas didn’t know quite what they expected to do, and they didn’t seem to either. They went, anyway. 

They had been reluctant at first. Terra had both visually and vocally sized Vanitas up, spouting protests about leaving him alone at the castle, and even Ventus and Aqua looked distrusting as they watched him. Aqua offered that he come along, but the invitation was soured by the nervous look on her face, and the tone in her voice. She wasn’t inviting him because she wanted to. 

Not that Vanitas really expected her to. He didn’t want to go visit the Guardians anyway. They’d all sit around spouting bullshit about the light they defended and the darkness they fought off and, well… Vanitas, whether he liked it or not, was a creature of Darkness. He didn’t need to hear about getting his ass kicked up and down. He was fine without. 

“I’ll pass,” Vanitas said. Felt like he was saying that a lot lately. 

Relief passed over the Wayfinders’ faces, and Vanitas artfully ignored the sudden sting in his dark heart. He didn’t want them, and he didn’t need them to want him. It was fine. 

“I can stay with him,” Terra said, daring Vanitas to argue. He was twice as big around as Vanitas was and over a foot taller… and Vanitas wasn’t up to arguing just then.

“You promised Riku you’d show him some of your earth magic,” Aqua reminded softly. “I can stay.”

“You’re a _Master_ , you can’t stay. We have to figure out what happened to Sora!!” Ventus protested. 

Silently, Vanitas protested their argument. Just because he was a creature of Darkness, didn’t mean he was _evil_. Hadn’t they learned that, on their little journey? Honestly. Especially with how closely Terra used to work with the darkness. 

Nothing here would interest him, anyway. 

Finally, it was Chirithy who popped up, all smiles, and said, “I can watch Vanitas very closely and make sure he gets into no trouble!!!”

Ventus eyed the strange cat, while Terra and Aqua shared a look. “...Are you sure, Chirithy? He’s…” he shot Vanitas a look, and Vanitas had absolutely no choice but to respond with a sneer, “tough.”

Chirithy appeared at Vanitas’ side and papped his knee with its paw. Vanitas fought off the urge to kick it; if he did that, the Wayfinders would be up in arms and would never leave. “I can take care of myself, Ven! If Vanitas tries anything, I’ll show him why you don’t mess with Dream Eaters!”

Vanitas didn’t even grace that with a response, just threw his head to the side with a sour look on his face. A few Vile Phials popped up over his head to show exactly how he felt about _that_. 

The Wayfinders left soon afterward, watching Vanitas. Terra silently dared him to do _anything_ . Vanitas, of course, wasn’t threatened, but he also didn’t feel like fucking around with the place he had like just moved into _quite_ yet. He flipped Terra off, and watched in muted awe as all three Wayfinders donned their keyblade armor, and transformed their keyblades into gliders.

Vanitas very silently promised himself that he would figure out how to make Void Gear do that, one of these days. Figure out how to make the armor, too, so he could get the hell off this mountain. 

And if a Red Hot Chili appeared when they masterfully blasted into the Lanes Between headed for Destiny Islands—well, he just casually brushed that aside, thank you. 

“We should go clean up!!” Chirithy happily chirped, instantly forcing two Vile Phials to appear above his head. 

Clean up? He was _not_ cleaning up after the goody two-shoes. That was that. 

“So that when they come back, they’ll be happy that everything is very clean!!”

Vanitas did not respond. The Vile Phials danced around his head. 

“I bet Aqua would like that.”

“Who cares what _she_ would like?” He sure as hell didn’t.

“...I bet _Ventus_ would like that.”

“Who _cares_ what that moron would like?!” Vanitas whirled on the cat, giving it his worst glare. Why wasn’t it fazed, why wasn’t it afraid?!? “Isn’t it your job to be looking out for your fucking wielder, or something?!? Go follow Ventus!”

“I told them I’d watch out for you!” Chirithy chirped. It must have had little to no contextual awareness. Couldn't it read a room? Honestly. “Besides, I _am_ watching my wielder. You’re Ventus’ other half.”

_Other_ half. Right. Void Gear wasn’t a real keyblade, and he wasn’t a real wielder. Vanitas knew that. “Don’t be a dumbass.”

Chirithy turned its head on its side, as if unsure quite how to do that. Then, another smile blossomed over its face, and it patted his knee. “Whatever you say, Vanitas. Come on. Let’s go clean.”

Vanitas groaned loudly, knowing the stupid cat wouldn’t drop it. He decided, definitely separately, that he was done where he was, and just so happened to follow the dumb cat because he didn’t want to argue with it. It skipped along a few paces ahead of him, as it lead him into the kitchen. Maybe he’d snatch a few more pieces of food while they were away. That was basically stealing, right? 

“You have to help,” Chirithy commanded. “Because I’m too small to do it on my own. Ventus _always_ helps me.”

“I’ll help you drown,” Vanitas spat. He opened the fridge and snatched a pepper. Debated cutting it like the others did for him. Decided it wasn’t worth the effort.

“But—“

“Bye.”

He went to bed.

* * *

He slept better than he ever had, in his life. There were some nights he could remember where he just _didn’t sleep_ . Master Xehanort had told him on a few occasions that he didn’t really _need_ to sleep, since he wasn’t a real person, but he always found that sleeping even for a bit at night made fighting easier the next day, so he tried to make the time. 

It was even better than with the rain. Something about this place being his. Even being all alone in this huge, creaky ass castle did nothing to bring him down. 

The Blue Sea Salt above his head helped, but he obviously ignored that. 

By the time Vanitas woke up, the sun was well risen. His hair was a mess, but no messier than usual so he didn’t care. He stayed in bed for a little while longer, enjoying the mattress, then remembered that he didn’t know when the Wayfinders would be back, or if they were back already, and if he wanted to explore his new quarters, now was probably the perfect time. 

Chirithy happily greeted him at the stairs. It informed him that the dishes were not cleaned up last night, but that was okay because it tried its best, apparently. It asked how he slept, which he gave no answer for, and then happily said it slept like a log, thank you. Vanitas didn’t think that logs slept at all, but he wasn’t up to interacting too much with the cat, so he questioned its intelligence in silence. 

He peeked into the kitchen, though, catching sight of the dirty dishes that in fact were not done. Chirithy did not notice that he paused, and kept walking to who knows where. 

He shouldn’t care. They weren’t his problem. He was no one’s slave and he was no one’s butler. If he went in there at _all_ , he was stealing food and leaving. And that was all. 

But…

“Who leaves their kitchen like this and _leaves_?” He asked no one, marching in and feeling played like a command board. A Yellow Mustard followed him in, chirping as it hung around close to him. He ignored it. 

Didn’t these Wayfinders have any sense of _control_ ? How could they stand this? It wasn’t like it would take long for them to clean before they had left, but _noooo_ , _Sora_ was _far_ more important than having just a semblance of _control_ and cleaning their damn kitchen. Did they _want_ flies? Vanitas was fond of things dark, murky, and occasionally gross, but he could not and _would not_ do flies. Not anymore. Too many days and nights in sewers and sewer-alikes. 

He washed and dried, guessed on where some dishes went and found family for the rest. Threw out what little food was left over because it had been sitting out all night. The Yellow Mustard was put to use and helped him put away something that he was too… _vertically challenged_ to reach.

Stupid Wayfinders. 

Stupid Wayfinders and their stupid height and inability to think ahead. Couldn’t put away their shit themselves. 

“Where’d you go?” Chirithy asked when he finally stomped out of the kitchen not much later. His shirt was wet, and that, he thought, said plenty. Although the smile on its face said it already knew. 

“Nowhere,” Vanitas spat. 

Chirithy laughed and went silent. It followed Vanitas as he stormed past the dining room and the Great Hall, then it said very quietly, “thank you for cleaning up. It was very nice of you!!”

A Vile Phial and another Yellow Mustard popped up, but he chased them away. “ _Fuck off_ ,” he spat. He had wanted to explore, and he rather preferred doing so in silence.

* * *

The library in this castle was small, but well stocked. Vanitas didn’t read much, so it didn’t make much difference to him, but it was kind of cool to see. There were books on magic, and technique, and Keyblade history. There was a whole book on the usage of Fire commands and fire magic. There was a book on darkness whose title made him want to read the book on fire commands, just so he could set it on fire. It wasn’t hard to see why the old fart Eraqus had been biased against darkness.

After the library, he found a sitting room with a _huge_ fireplace. The mouth of it had to be bigger than Terra was tall. There was a couch in front of it and another, smaller one off to the side. Blankets were draped all over it. This seemed like an amazing place to take a break after a long day of training. 

Further on, there was a sitting room with a board at the front. Looked like the sort of place baby wielders came to discover that water beat fire but fire melted ice. He snorted and walked on. 

The castle, to no one’s surprise, was massive. There were rooms that Vanitas was sure hadn’t been used in _years_ … even before the whole thing a decade ago. Of course. There was a weight room, which did look used, and even a swimming pool. He debated freezing the whole thing over, but decided to save that for later, when the Wayfinders were less expecting. It’d be funnier then, too. 

Chirithy followed him around happily, sometimes hanging on his arm (although not for long) and others just skipping along. It told stories of each room he found—as little as “Ventus and me found this place exploring once” to a whole damn novel that Vanitas honestly stopped paying attention to after the first few sentences. 

The sun was starting to set when they finally made their way outside to the courtyard. Vanitas hadn’t even realized that he’d spent so long wandering. To be fair, he woke up late, and they _did_ stop for lunch at one point. But still. 

The sun was setting in the west, past the mountain. The sunlight shone on a lone keyblade, stuck in the ground. Vanitas didn’t care for tradition, and he knew no one who would call him respectful, but something about the mood of the place stilled his mouth and silenced anything he might want to say about the place. This hadn’t been here a decade ago. It didn’t look very old at all. 

Chirithy hopped up onto his shoulder and wrapped its paws in his hair. “Master Eraqus’ memorial. It’s very important to my friends. You must be good.”

Vanitas didn’t scoff, even though he wanted to. There was a wreath of purple flowers around the handle. They weren’t dying, exactly, but they probably hadn’t been refreshed in a few days. Three star-shaped ornaments hung from the wreath—one blue, one green, one orange. The wayfinders. It was a stupid trinket, and he didn’t understand the significance of it. But… it was very, very important. He didn’t know why, but he wasn’t so stupid that he didn’t get that it was. 

“Unbreakable connection,” Chirithy mumbled when Vanitas approached the memorial, apparently thinking of the same thing he was. Probably because they were “connected” or something. Or maybe he’d been staring for far too long. 

The sun shone through the glass on the wayfinders brilliantly, turning Vanitas’ hand shades of gold when he reached for the orange one. He touched it, but not so much to disturb it much. He had a feeling that he could have done countless things to the castle, and none of it would amount to the same sort of fury coming his way if he did something to this place. 

“ _Cure_.”

Vanitas didn’t realize he’d done it until it happened. He lifted his hand to the flower wreath and cast the spell. The drooping flowers stood up a little straighter, and he thought some sort of color returned to them. Why did he do that? 

He turned away with a shake of his head, confused. A Yellow Mustard followed him inside. Chirithy patted his head, but thankfully it made no further comment. 

“What were you doing out there?”

He flinched at the voice and dropped a curse, turning his head. The Wayfinders had returned, apparently. Terra stood there, defensive, eyes glowing with anger that would have spelled Vanitas’ demise if he could manage it. 

“Nothing. Whatever.”

Chirithy patted his head again, and this time, Vanitas swiped his hand up toward it to chase it off. The ridiculous cat jumped from his head into the awaiting Ventus’ arms. Ventus eyed him critically, then followed Terra out to the memorial. Both assumed he would do something unsightly.

...A fair assumption, he supposed. All things considering. 

Aqua stood beyond where the other two had been. She had been looking all over the place, for any sign of damage, expecting disaster to fall on this place because Vanitas was left alone for over a day. At least she seemed pleasantly surprised that wasn’t the case. 

“...We’re back.”

“Yeah. I noticed. I’m going to bed.”

He stormed upstairs before Aqua could stop him, ignoring that she was probably going to say something about supper. He didn’t care. They didn’t trust him, and he wasn’t obligated to spend time with them. He wasn’t… he wasn’t their friend, and they _certainly_ weren’t his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I have the time, I'll go in and add Unversed and their emotions to the beginnings of the rest of the chapters so no one's left guessing :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yellow Mustard - Embarrassed  
> Mandrake - Surprise  
> Vile Phial - Annoyed  
> Blue Sea Salt - Satisfied

“Thanks for taking care of the flowers, and dishes,” Aqua said the next morning, after breakfast. She and Vanitas were both headed back up to their rooms—at least, he assumed since hers was near his.

Vanitas shoved his hands into his pockets. “Dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Chirithy told us. Well, told Ven, and then Ven told us. It was kind of you.”

Vanitas scoffed, physically fighting back the Yellow Mustard. “...Clean your fucking kitchen.”

“Our friends seemed a little more important. Still, we appreciated it. Coming back to a clean kitchen is nice. Thank you.”

He scratched at his cheek, unable to keep the Yellow Mustard from popping up. It squeaked and danced around his head, and shot forward to where it apparently knew his room was. 

Aqua laughed, narrowly avoiding the excitable little emotion. “What’s that one mean?” Apparently knowing that they came directly from his emotions made them a little less threatening. 

“Shut up.”

“I don’t think that’s an emotion.”

“ _ Shut. Up _ .”

She laughed again, stopping off at her room. Vanitas’ was a few doors down yet. “Well, we’ll be training in an hour if you want to join us. Sounds like you might be a little rusty. But it’s up to you, Van.”

_ Training _ . Why did she want him to train so badly? He just wanted to be in here, where it was quiet and alone and  _ nice _ . At least then he wasn’t watched. “Same as last time. No.”

Something in Aqua’s face perked up, despite his words. She smiled, shrugged, and said, “okay. Well, we start in the weight room if you change your mind!” She darted into her room without another word. 

About five seconds after that, Vanitas realized that she had called him  _ Van _ . He paused and turned back to her door, waiting for her to come back out and comment on it. Van?  _ Van? _ Was that supposed to be some sort of lame nickname for him? Like how Ventus’ name was Ventus but he called himself Ven? How  _ dumb _ was that?  _ Van _ . He and Ventus already shared a heart; did they have to share a  _ nickname _ , too? Van was getting awfully close to Ven. 

But Aqua didn’t reappear and explain herself. Just stayed locked away. Vanitas almost stepped forward and bugged her about it, but stopped himself. He was collected; he didn’t care about anything. (Except flowers and dishes, apparently.) And he definitely did  _ not _ care about  _ that _ . 

He looked over his shoulder at the Yellow Mustard, who was apparently sharing in his confusion. The Yellow Mustard looked right at him, and then back toward Aqua’s room. It turned back to his room, and went through the doorway. After half a second, Vanitas followed. It wasn’t important, anyway. 

(And what definitely wasn’t important was the warmth in his chest. Not important at all.)

* * *

Vanitas was a powerful ‘wielder’; not just a fighter, but a mage as well. He preferred brute physical strength, because there was nothing quite like getting in someone’s face and throwing them back, looking them in the eyes to read their terror as they realized they stood no chance. But magic was useful; Dark Firaga was especially useful in that it honed in on his opponents and let him attack from a distance if he felt himself getting worn down. More than those, though, he enjoyed combining the two. His Shadow Dive, which smacked Void Gear into the ground and immediately followed with a spire of ice, was particularly satisfying. 

Still, as many painful attacks and paralyzing spells as he could do, they felt like nothing when he sat back and watched the Wayfinders train. 

It was painfully clear that one was a Master and another should have been given the title. Though they sparred with wooden weapons and used low rank spells, it was clear that their mastery of both made even the lowest level spells deadly. Both were agile; Aqua significantly more so, but Terra was (he hated to admit it) no slouch. Terra countered Aqua’s agility with earth spells that shook the ground as soon as Aqua touched it, and threw her off balance. 

Vanitas knew that Terra’s Lingering Will had clung to life in the Keyblade Graveyard desperately, fighting whomever crossed it but otherwise, a stone. Maybe that counted as “training”. And Aqua had spent over ten years in the Realm of Darkness, fighting and training and yes, eventually succumbing, but it seemed to make her all the stronger. 

They had probably long since surpassed Vanitas, who had slept for ten years with Ventus inside the copycat. He was strong enough to admit that. He also knew that if he could get just a  _ little _ bit of training in… well, he was a brutal fighter; fast, strong, persevering. He just needed a little strength to outlast the Wayfinders, get around them, and deal a killing— _ no, not anymore _ —ahem, winning blow. 

He sat watching in the upper reaches of the Great Hall, casually laid out on some architecture way up above. The three had been too busy practicing to even notice him. Wouldn’t it be fun to drop a Shadow Dive on them from out of nowhere? Terra probably wouldn’t appreciate it, or Ventus, and—Aqua had said no real weapons. 

Maybe not the best idea.

Still, the thought was amusing, and from his height he’d sure get the momentum to show them what’s what. Then maybe Terra wouldn’t be so keen on threatening him. 

“Hey.”

“ _ Fuck _ !” Vanitas had to clench the fixture he was on and whipped his head around. A Mandrake appeared off to the side and promptly plummeted. Vanitas at least had the forethought to reabsorb it before it landed and was eliminated. He was… more than familiar with that pain. 

Ventus…  _ floated there _ . Beside him. Standing on nothing. A huge grin spread across his face, clearly very pleased that he had startled Vanitas like he had. “What’s up.”

“What the  _ fuck _ ?!” Vanitas demanded releasing his sharp hold. He glared at Ventus. “How the fuck are you doing that?!?”

“Zero Graviza!” Ventus said with a laugh. “It won’t hold for long though.”

“Then why the fuck.”

“Saying hi.”

“Why? Fuck off.”

“You should help me,” Ventus said. He started descending slowly, so he reached out to grab the fixture Vanitas was on and hauled himself up. “With some magic stuff while they spar.”

“Why.”

“Because I’m asking nicely.” Ventus settled onto the fixture with Vanitas—how the two of them fit, he honestly didn’t know. They were definitely a little too… bodily close, though. 

“So? You’re fucking flying, you clearly don’t need help.”

“It’s  _ one _ -za level spell. And I can barely control it.  _ Pleeeeaaaase. _ ” Ventus tilted his head and stuck out his lower lip, making himself look comically childish. 

“You have to know that shit won’t work on me.”

Ventus dropped the face with a fake pout. “Come  _ on _ . Ever since I woke up Aqua’s been acting like I’m fragile, and she won't help me train. She thinks I’ve atrophied. And I feel fine! Mostly.”

“That’s convincing.”

“It’s  _ true _ ! I struggle a little sometimes but I think that’s reasonable.” Ventus crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking Vanitas right in the face. “Come on.”

“Why do you want  _ me _ to help you so badly? Aren’t you worried I’ll turn around and stab you in the back? You sure were before.”

“Nah,” Ventus said with a shrug. “You like Aqua, you won’t want to let her down.”

“I—“ a Yellow Mustard appeared and happily chirped into his ear. “I do not  _ like _ her.”  _ Like _ her? He was made from darkness, he did not. He couldn't really  _ like _ anything at all. “Fuck off.”

“Sure you do! Or you wouldn’t have cleaned up, or helped the flowers, or even come to stay with us. It’s okay. Aqua’s cool. You’re allowed to like her. We all do.”

“Yeah… well...“ He scratched a red cheek and leaned his head to the side, glaring at the representation of his emotion. He wasn’t  _ supposed _ to want to be around people. He was darkness in its purest form; not even ever born, the darkness was all he had known. “Get fucked.”

“Good one.” 

“...If Terra tries to kick my ass when he sees us, that’s your fault.”

Ventus grinned and wiggled around so he could stand. “You’ll help me?”

“To get you to shut up.”

“Cool! C’mon then, let’s go!”

Vanitas rolled his eyes, already regretting his decision, and called on a Tank Toppler to get down safely. There was absolutely zero room for it to stand, so it clung to the bottom of the fixture piece they were on. Didn’t seem to care one way or the other.

Seeing the Unversed there gave Ventus pause. He stared at it, watching nervously. “...why don’t you just teleport? You used to be able to. It was one of the bitchiest parts of fighting you.”

Vanitas shrugged. The Tank Toppler was slowly inflating, apparently well aware of what its master wanted. “Fuck if I know. I haven’t been able to use any of my powers since I woke up.”

Ventus shrugged and pulled out his keyblade. He cast Aeroga below. “It’s probably because you don’t feel as dark anymore.” He hopped down to land squarely on the whirlwind that sprouted up, then cast another and another and another as he descended. 

Now with a little more room, and the Tank Toppler inflated, it floated up toward Vanitas slowly, putting out its arms toward him. He quickly grabbed one, and the Unversed let out air as it descended to the ground, far away from the sparring Master and to-be. 

“What did you mean?” Vanitas snapped, storming after his brother who was nearing the throne. He recalled the Tank Toppler without a word to it. “Why did you say that?!”

“What, that you’re not as dark?” Ventus asked, pulling out a plain wooden blade. “It’s true. You don't feel as dark to me anymore. I’m not surprised—if you spent any amount of time in Sora, you’re probably full of light. It’s okay. It makes sense.”

“...I don’t feel any different.” That was honest. Why would Ventus say that he wasn’t so dark, when he felt no different? Sure it was, maybe, a little easier to smile, but he attributed that to not being around Master Xehanort anymore. 

Ventus just shrugged. “Just telling you how I feel. Here.” He stood and turned to hand to Vanitas one of the wooden blades. “Aqua probably told you that you can’t use real keyblades, right?” 

“Right.”

“You can still do magic with these, and practice technique. The keyblade just amplifies it. Show me what you got!”

Vanitas took the weapon, testing it in his hands. The wood was light and airy. Very different from Void Gear, which was thick and heavy and fit rather comfortably in the palm of his hand, like it was made for him (it was). “I thought I was helping you.”

“Gotta prove yourself first.” Ventus took his own blade and spun the handle in his palms, holding it in that bizarre backhanded way he always fought. The wood allowed for very few of the weapon flourishes Ventus had always fought with. 

Vanitas rolled his eyes hard into the back of his head. He had to prove himself after being  _ asked _ ? 

Nevertheless, he lifted the wooden blade over his head and pointed the tip toward Ventus, who glared but in a way that didn’t spell hatred. “Whatever.”

Ventus lifted a foot and prepared to dash, and in that same instant Vanitas moved toward his brother, bringing his blade down.

* * *

Vanitas collapsed into the dirt, glaring up at his opponent. Aqua smirked and set aside her blade, crossing her arms over her chest. Off to the side, Ventus and Terra were arguing about something. Vanitas had ignored them in the heat of battle, and was only now starting to pick up their voices at the edge of his hearing. 

“You gonna live?” Aqua asked with a laugh, looking down at him. They’d been sparring for the past twenty minutes, and finally Vanitas’ exhaustion decided the match. 

Vanitas shot her a glare and twisted around so he could get artfully to his feet. Once he was standing, though, he started swaying on his feet and had to reach for something to hold still. 

Aqua was there in a moment, laughing again. She grabbed his shoulder to keep him from falling over. Vanitas had reluctantly been allowing her to touch him, the more that they sparred. She was proving to be a touchy feely person. Vanitas wasn’t often the one to initiate touch, but he had stopped actively fighting it in the week. 

“Here.  _ Blizzard _ .” Aqua lifted her hand and cast the spell, forming ice cubes in her hand. She pushed one to his lips, and used the rest to press against his forehead. The ice was too fucking cold, but Vanitas hesitantly appreciated the gesture. “I told you to take a break.”

“Whatever.”

After helping Ventus spar a week ago, and once again being beaten, Vanitas had finally accepted Aqua’s offer to train with them. And he was getting his ass handed to him. He sparred with Aqua the most, because whenever he sparred with Ventus, Terra got this evil look in his eye, and Terra was still pretty much refusing to spar with, look at, or speak to Vanitas. At least Aqua was helping him with his magic— _ a lot _ . He used to be a powerful mage, but he clearly had  _ nothing _ on Aqua. 

“Maybe you should go rest,” Aqua said softly, wrapping an arm around him to lead him over to the stairway and take a seat. Vanitas scoffed to himself at the notion, but she was giving him little choice. When he had trained with Master Xehanort, they worked until he could barely move, until his mouth bled. They weren’t even  _ close _ to that. He still had plenty of time. 

“I’m not dead yet.”

Aqua laughed a little again but made him sit. She created a few more ice cubes and passed them over. “Suck on these. You’ll feel better.”

“Whatever.”

Aqua just rolled her eyes, lips tilted in a weird smile. She was doing that a lot around him of late. Smiling, laughing. It was… unnerving. Not too long ago, they had been enemies. Then, tolerant acquaintances, housemates, and now… friends? He didn’t know that he’d call  _ her _ a friend, but she was sure acting like he was hers. 

A Mandrake popped up beside him silently and sat on the steps. He looked down to it, well aware which emotion it was representing. He lowered his chin into his palm and popped an ice cube into his mouth. “Yeah. I don’t get it either.” 

It chirped at him, then dropped its little head into one of its leaves, watching as Ventus challenged Aqua to a spar, wooden blade at the ready. The sun beat down on them powerfully and crisped his neck, but he honestly didn’t mind. As much as some shade would have been nice, it still felt pretty good with the breeze. He closed his eyes and sat in the gentle wind, the whacking of the keyblades falling to the back of his mind. 

As the keyblades fell away in his mind, it didn’t take long to pick up the shifting of grass as someone neared. It wasn’t hard to guess who with the heavy footfalls. 

“I don’t understand how they trust you,” Terra said, standing just outside the stone banister. Vanitas didn’t lift his head to him. Really didn’t listen to him.

Didn’t say that he didn’t get it either, but he  _ definitely _ didn’t get it either. 

“They keep saying ‘he’s not going to let us down, he’s changed’.” Terra snorted so hard that Vanitas assumed what little brains he had left shot out of his nose. “You haven’t changed a bit. You’re just biding your time.”

_ For what _ ? Vanitas didn’t ask. He had nothing to fight for, no reason to attack any of them. Why would he? 

But, who cared what Terra thought? He was of no importance to him. That he was Aqua and Ventus’ friend meant nothing (especially since he  _ wasn’t _ theirs). 

“Whatever.”

Terra scoffed. “I don’t trust you.”

“I don’t need you to.”

“What are you even doing here?” Terra asked, voice stony. “You’ll get nothing out of us. I’ll stop you from doing anything to us myself.”

Vanitas wisely didn’t say “and that worked so well last time” like he wanted to. He was still exhausted, after all, and if Aqua and Ventus heard what he said, they likely wouldn’t take his side if Terra retaliated. Not that he needed them to, but… whatever. “I’m not  _ doing anything _ here. I’m just here. Have been for weeks.” He opened his eyes to glare at the man before him. 

Terra glared right back, sizing him up and down with a sneer befitting the darkness that once possessed him. “You attacked Ven.”

“ _ Ventus _ attacked  _ me _ !” 

Terra snorted hard and looked away. Vanitas was under the distinct impression that no matter how much he told the truth, Terra wouldn’t believe him. Ventus was the light half between them, after all. 

“Just don’t try anything, and there won’t be problems.”

“ _ You _ don’t try anything and there won’t be problems,” Vanitas snarked back, which he thought was fair since Terra  _ was  _ the last one to kick him out unfairly. 

“ _ Terra _ !!” Ventus suddenly called, jumping up to wave his hands in the air. He and Aqua had stopped their spar and were watching him. Ventus looked wholly excited, waving the wooden blade about. “Come fight three-way!! See if you can take on Aqua  _ and _ me!!”

Terra waved to him with a decidedly fond look on his face. He took up the wooden sword he had set to the side. “You’re on, squirt!” He landed another glare on Vanitas as he turned away, snarling, “just, watch it.”

Vanitas didn’t respond to that with anything more than a glare, crossing his arms over his chest. Water pooled in his hand from the melting ice, but he didn’t yet bother shaking it away. The Mandrake nudged his hand and gleefully got droplets of water on its head. 

This was getting very old, very very fast.

* * *

“I saw you and Terra talking the other day,” said Aqua with a smile one afternoon in the weight room. Ventus and Terra were either not training or were swimming today; Vanitas couldn’t remember, and he didn’t care to. “I hope it was about something good.”

Vanitas rolled his eyes. He was sitting on the floor, knocking back what felt like an entire gallon of water. A Blue Sea Salt was happily chirping around the room, spending most of its time around Vanitas but taking a little time to wander the small room. When Aqua spoke, it chirped again and floated back over to Vanitas to join the Vile Phial that appeared. “Not really.”

Aqua sat up from the bench once her bar was safely in place. “Aww, no? What did he say?”

“Don’t act surprised.”

Aqua reached down for her water bottle and tossed her head back. She shrugged. “What did he say?”

“Just warning me not to ‘try anything’. Again.”

Aqua sighed, face falling but only a little. She clearly wasn’t surprised by Terra’s sour actions. Vanitas wasn’t either, even if it was extremely annoying. 

“It’s like the hundredth time.”

“Yeah,” Aqua said softly, dismounting her bench to approach Vanitas. They had been at it for forty minutes or so already, and Vanitas had finished his own workout five minutes ago. She was probably finished, too. “You have to understand. It’s hard forgiving someone for hurting you. Even harder forgiving them for hurting someone you love.”

Vanitas frowned and turned his head away, from both her and the happy little Unversed. “Yeah. Well. He doesn’t have to keep saying it.” He stood and downed the last of his water bottle, following her out of the weight room toward the Great Hall. 

“Probably not. He just needs time. He’s… trusted the wrong people in the past, and I think it scares him that it could happen again.”

“I’m not gonna fuckin’ do anything. I’ve got nothin’ to fucking fight for anymore.”

“And he’ll get that, Van! Eventually. Just. Like I said, he needs time to believe it. Proof that it won’t happen again.”

“You can’t prove that something  _ won’t _ happen. That’s not how proof  _ works _ .”

“It’s…” she sighed a little, passing a hand through her hair. “I know. Just give him time, Van.”

Vanitas opened his mouth to respond, but ground to a halt. She’d used that…  _ name _ again. She had a number of times, but he always caught her too late, and she was gone before he could say anything. It wasn’t an…  _ awful _ name, but he didn’t get why she kept calling him that, when he had mentioned no such nickname, or even a want of one. His name was…  _ fine _ , as it was. 

“You keep calling me that.”

Aqua paused in her step for half a second. Glanced back at him, then continued. “What, Van?”

“Yeah. My name’s  _ Vanitas _ .”

“Yeah. So, Van.”

“ _ Why _ do you keep calling me that?”

“Well…” Aqua said, stretching out the word. “It just feels different to me. Like… like Vanitas was the boy who was a little bit of an asshole, who got in our way every step that he could and tried to hurt each and every one of us once. Van is the kid who, though still a bit of an asshole, is doing better. Is working on having friends, is trying to spend time with us. He was manipulated, and has done wrong things in the past, but he wants to be better. I can get behind him.”

Vanitas opened his mouth to retort, closed it, opened it again, then finally just sealed his lips shut. Didn’t really know how he was meant to respond to that, exactly. 

Finally, after a moment, his face heated up and a Yellow Mustard appeared behind him and chased after its chilled brethren, but he said, “little more than a  _ bit _ of an asshole.”

Aqua glanced down at him, then smiled and laughed. “After all that,  _ that’s _ what you latch onto?”

Vanitas scratched his cheek, but didn’t say anything. What else was he supposed to say? This was her, trying hard to put a line between the past and the present. She seemed… better for it. He guessed. 

“Well, do you hate it? I’ll stop if you do. I just think differentiating between who you are now and who you used to be is helpful. For us and for you.”

“I mean…” Vanitas dragged his foot and scuffed the floor as he walked, tucking his hand into a pocket. It wasn’t…  _ awful _ . Even if it was a little close to Ventus. “It’s not the  _ worst _ , I guess.”

“Oh!” The smile that spread over her face was almost infectious, enough that Vanitas had to duck his head and look away. “Well, good. I’m glad.” 

They paused at the top of the stairs, no more than ten paces from Aqua’s room. She moved toward him, just a little, and Vanitas was almost afraid of what sort of thing she was getting up to. It felt like it was going to be mushy and gross and—he’d done enough mushy for the evening. He stepped far out of the way, around her and closer to his safe space. 

“Um,” he said quietly, face still red. This was not normal. This was not…  _ okay _ . “I call shower first.”

He spun around and darted into his room like a bat outta hell, the two elemental Unversed following closely behind. The door closed behind them and he leaned on it, releasing a few Scrappers, who poked nervously at him, as if they were worried. 

Why was she trying to hard? He didn’t understand. But it was making him nervous. Even Ventus was…  _ trying _ . Terra was honestly the only sensible one out of the three. Much as he hated the way that Terra hated him, at least Terra’s actions weren’t making him feel like anything more was expected of him. 

Now, Aqua was certainly acting like he was… was her  _ friend _ . And that was a lot of pressure to put on someone who had never had or wanted friends before. 

Ventus had said, the week prior, that Vanitas wouldn’t do anything because Vanitas didn’t want to let her down. Vanitas hadn’t realized as much, but… Ventus was  _ right _ . For one stupid reason or another, Vanitas didn’t want to let Aqua down. But he would. He was good at that. He had let Master Xehanort down, by failing at doing the only thing he was created for, merging with Ventus and creating the X-blade. 

But this felt worse. Vanitas was a second choice from the beginning; it was why he had been ripped right from Ventus’ heart. This  _ was _ worse. She expected something of him, something he didn’t know of. Something he didn’t know  _ how to do _ . She thought he was  _ being better _ ? He was going to let her down. 

And that… scared him. She expected so much of him. So much that he didn’t know how to do. He didn’t even know how to  _ want _ to do better. He could just throw in the towel. He  _ should _ . Leave this fucking mountain, get the hell out of here while he still had what little pride he had left. 

If only he had his goddamn portals, or could teleport. Or  _ something _ . 

Because this whole thing wasn’t going to end well. 

At the end of the day, they were light, and he was darkness. And darkness always seemed to blot out the light. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and/or happy holidays!!!!   
> Thanks for reading!!! I still intend to update on the first of the year so I will see y'all very very soon!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flood - Loneliness  
> Scrapper - Nervous  
> Sonic Blaster - Fear  
> Blue Sea Salt - Happy

Someone knocked at Vanitas’ door for a minute straight. He thought they might have been calling his name, but he couldn’t tell. Between the pillow over his head and the swarm of Floods squirming around and over him, he couldn’t really hear much of anything. 

He hoped it stayed that way. It was safer that way. 

Who did he think he was kidding? He was darkness. He was meant to be alone, meant to be…  _ lonely _ . That was just the way it was, whether he liked it or not. 

And maybe… maybe he didn’t like it. Maybe he didn’t want to be alone. Maybe. 

After a few minutes, the knocking went away. Vanitas relaxed his shoulders as he was left alone, reaching up to grab the pillow and peek one eye to the door. It remained closed and locked, as it had been before. A Flood soon fell into his vision, but all was right (not right) in his little world, so he dropped the pillow back in place, and kept not-hiding from the Wayfinders and their stupid, confusing emotions. 

His heart hurt, in ways he hadn’t experienced before. It was similar to the familiar ache of… of  _ loneliness _ , but there was something different about it, more biting. It felt like it would last forever. It was like something was telling him that everything was off, like the rug had been ripped out from under his feet and he was left falling in an endless abyss. 

The knocking came back, followed by a voice almost certainly calling his name. The Floods squeaking in his ears, as well as the pillow, blocked out most of it, but he almost certainly heard the tail end. 

Why didn’t they leave him  _ alone _ ? That was what they had wanted of him for most of his life. Why were they being so different now that he agreed?

He lifted his pillow again, to get a good glance. The door knob was wiggling against the fastened lock, stopping against it. Whomever was on the other side was trying very hard to pretend it wasn’t locked, though. 

Sure enough, a light shone from beneath the door, a voice saying something unintelligible, then to his own mixed horror, the knob turned the whole way and the door opened. 

What was the damn point in  _ locks _ if the Wayfinders would just use their keyblades to get past them?

The door closed after a second, but Vanitas turned his head away quickly enough that he didn’t see who was coming in. He didn’t hear little footsteps, but the Floods parted ways when they approached, and something light jumped up onto his bed. 

“Your friends are worried about you,” Chirithy squeaked, patting his hair. It sat beside him and didn’t lift its paw out of his hair. If he had the energy, he’d have smacked it away. “You’ve been in here for days.”

He grunted, but didn’t answer. Kind of didn’t know how to answer. It clearly didn’t know what it was talking about. 

“They have,” Chirithy said. “Ventus is asking if you’re okay.”

“Who let you in?”

“Aqua opened the door for me!”

Vanitas glared toward the door, knowing the woman was still on the other side, probably listening in. Whatever. “Asshole.”

Chirithy cocked its head to the side, patting his head again. “She worries about you. You know one of the rules was that you came down for dinner! But you haven’t been in days.”

“I’m  _ fine _ .”

“Hmmmm…” Chirithy tapped its chin, looking down on him, then moved and hopped up onto his flat back. He noticed that whenever it walked, the Floods avoided it, giving it a wide berth. He supposed that was because it came from Ventus’ light. “I don’t think so.”

“What do you know?”

“Your heart,” Chirithy squeaked, simple as that. “And I know it’s hurting. And that’s okay! It’s all new for you, it’s hard.”

“What _ ever _ .”

“It is! Having friends is very different! But it’s a good kind of different, I promise.”

“ _ You promise _ ,” Vanitas said, half mocking. He lifted the pillow away from his head and picked his chin up to glare at the cat. It waved at him with a little smile. 

“I do!”

“Who even said they’re my friends? I don’t have friends.”

“Is that what’s making you sad?” Chirithy eyed him critically, eyes wide and all-knowing. 

Vanitas flinched and turned away from it, crossing his arms on his mattress. A Flood came over and nestled in the tiny gap between his arms and his head.

“Because sometimes—” Chirithy scootched up to sit beside his arms. The Flood curled up there turned its head toward it and bristled like a cat, as if it was baring fangs it didn’t even have. It seemed to think it was protecting him. Or maybe it just  _ really _ didn’t like Chirithy. Vanitas could relate. “Sometimes the symptom of wanting friends, is being sad that you don’t have any.”

“I never said that I wanted friends.”

“Your heart did,” Chirithy chirped, bouncing to its paws. “We’re connected, remember?”

“Hire a fucking translator then.”

“Don’t have to!” Chirithy patted his head happily, moving its paw when Vanitas did lift up his hand to smack it away. “I’ve gotten pretty good at listening to it myself. Looks like you still need a little practice, though.”

“Get bent.”

“Making friends must be hard when you’re always in a foul mood, though.”

“I don’t want—“ Vanitas forced himself to stop and finally sat up. Floods toppled off of him and surged around his floor and bed, clinging to him but avoiding Chirithy like the plague. “I don’t want friends. Aqua just—got too close and it made my heart feel weird.” Which was a bizarre concept in and of itself, but he decided not to comment on that.

“Ventus was saying something like that. How did Aqua get too close? You don’t mind when you spar, and that’s getting close.”

Vanitas just frowned hard and crossed his arms over his chest grumpily. Didn’t bother pointing out that it wasn’t just  _ physically _ close that made him nervous. 

And apparently, he didn’t have to. “Unless… you mean she got close to being your friend.”

“Shut up.”

“And that made you nervous.”

“Shut up!” Vanitas whipped his hand out, but apparently Chirithy was all knowing because it easily hopped backwards out of harm’s way, only the tips of Vanitas’ fingertips brushing the pouch around its neck. “It’s not that stupid! I just don’t… like them. I want to leave.”

“Aww,” Chirithy cooed, “no you don’t. You just haven’t had friends before, haven’t had other people depend on you, and that makes you nervous. It’s okay. They don’t expect much out of you.”

Vanitas frowned hard, lifting up his hand to look at the palm. A Flood crawled up and took the space on his palm, leaning a paw on his arm to affectionately nuzzle its pointy snout against his chest. He was just darkness, and with every single feeling, he created monsters. Whatever they expected of him, it was going to be too much. He was going to let them down. 

“They expect too much.”

“No,” Chirithy said, reaching a paw forward to touch his knee in a surprisingly soothing gesture. Its light was very… very  _ nice _ . So much like Ventus’ light, but without the usual learned need to cut it off like Master Xehanort had so often expected. “They expect you to try. You won’t let them down, if you say you’re sorry if you mess up, and learn.” 

“Say I’m…  _ sorry _ ?”

“Yeah!” Chirithy chirped with a smile, face lighting up. “Sometimes that’s all it takes, you know? Just say you’re sorry and mean it.”

“That’s… simple.”

“It can be a lot harder than you think. And it’s okay if you have to practice for a little bit. You can practice on me!”

Vanitas snorted hard and looked away, towards the door where apparently at least Aqua listened in. “I think I’ll pass.”

Chirithy looked too, hopping right up next to him and getting just a little bit into his space. “They really have been worried about you. You should tell them you’re not dying. I think Ventus thinks you’re starving.”

“It’s none of Ventus’ business if I starve or not.”

“I think, if he’s gonna be your friend, that maybe it is his business.”

Vanitas frowned and crossed his arms over his chest, scowling at the logic. Even if that was right, that didn’t mean he had to  _ like _ it. 

He didn’t notice the Floods slowly dissipating on their own around him. There were still plenty to trip over, but…  _ less _ . 

“Let’s go say hi!” Chirithy suddenly seized his fingertips, curling its paw around them and leaping off the bed, dragging Vanitas along behind it. It didn’t seem to care one way or another how he felt about the whole matter.

“You know, you’re really fucking annoying,” Vanitas grumbled, nearly tripping over a Flood who happily chuffed up at him. Chirithy just laughed and dropped Vanitas’ hand, leaping up to grab the doorknob and pull down on it, pulling the door open slowly. 

No one came rushing in to meet him, for which he was relieved. A few Floods rushed out, now that they were free, and peered around the halls. Most stopped and stared to the right of the door, so it wasn’t hard to figure out that someone was waiting there.

“I did it Aqua!” Chirithy said, bouncing out of the room and to the right. When Vanitas finally emerged, he indeed spotted Aqua leaned up against the wall, several feet down from the door. 

“Thanks Chirithy,” Aqua laughed, petting its head and trailing a finger behind its ear. She watched him, though, blue eyes roaming over his once more sorry state. “Hey Van.”

Vanitas didn’t look up at her, averting his eyes nervously. A Scrapper popped up beside him, and Vanitas  _ hated _ that it was there. “What.”

“Are you okay?” Aqua took a few steps forward, but stopped before she got too close. 

“Fine.”

“Vanitas,” Chirithy said very softly from beside her, its eyes wide. 

Vanitas sighed hard, frustrated and a little annoyed, and lifted his gaze to Aqua’s face. She was smiling again. “Hi.”

Aqua just shook her head, smile growing a little. “You had us worried,” she said. “It’s been  _ days _ .”

“Yeah, well,” Vanitas started, but he didn’t really know how to continue. He lifted his chin a little, fighting off the nervous shudder. The Scrapper shuddered for him and poked around to his other side, watching Aqua nervously. The Floods were following Vanitas’ gaze, and more than a few had appeared close to Aqua, touching her boots or sniffing at her knees. Aqua didn’t even seem to notice. 

“We can talk about it later, if you want. For now, let’s get you something to eat.” Aqua extended her hand to him, waiting. 

Vanitas held his breath, eyes darting between her hand and face. This was all very bizarre, and it was doing something airy to his heart that he wasn’t sure how much he liked. The gesture was there though. Just because Vanitas didn’t spend a lot of time around other people, didn’t mean that he didn’t know what she was looking for. 

He took a step toward her, dropping his nervous arms, but quickly shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m not holding your  _ hand _ .”

Aqua just laughed again, happy and very, very real. She dropped her hand, smile not leaving yet, and said, “Okay, Van. Come on.” She turned around, bouncing in her step, and lead the way down the stairs.

* * *

Ventus was absolutely enthralled with Aqua and Terra, and as much as he didn’t entirely get why, Vanitas thought it was  _ hilarious. _

Okay. To be fair, he got Aqua. She was…  _ cool _ (he hesitated to admit, and would  _ never _ say so aloud), even if she was a bit of a know-it-all. But Terra was a meathead, and a bit of an asshole (he maybe had no place to say), and after the confrontation from last week, he had done nothing to warm himself up to Vanitas. 

Or the other way around, for that matter. Regardless.

They were in the sitting room. Aqua and Ventus were sitting on the loveseat. Aqua had been showing him some stuff about magic—apparently magic was  _ much _ more technical than just doing it. Now, though, Ventus was actively and loudly talking about the time before the events of a decade ago when apparently Aqua and Terra were facing off and, if Vanitas was understanding correctly, accidentally blasted off the entire upper east wing of the castle. Ventus, fresh to the fold, had declared he would blast off the west wing. Aqua was laughing heartily after saying so (Ventus protested, saying “I don’t remember that…”), wiping at her eyes and setting her book aside. 

She glanced to the doorway and froze. Just for a moment, but it was long enough to catch the attention of both Ventus and Vanitas, turning their heads to the source.

Terra stood there in the doorway, a plate of veggies and a book in hand. He was eyeing the seating arrangement—Aqua and Ventus took up the whole loveseat, while Vanitas was alone on the sofa. All that was left was the chair and most of Vanitas' couch. But Vanitas understood that the chair had been reserved for the Master, and as far as he knew, it hadn’t been used by anyone since. 

“Done lifting?” Ventus asked, crossing his arms on the back of the loveseat to rest his chin on them. 

“For now.”

“Laps in the pool later?” Aqua asked.

“Call it a race tomorrow, and you’re on.”

“Loser does dishes?”

“Of course.”

Vanitas didn’t interject with his own commentary (something along the lines of “you’re both losers, guess you’d better get cleaning”), and thought that was very kind of him to avoid it. 

Finally Terra took an extra step into the sitting room, deciding to accompany them. Vanitas figured he’d take the seat once occupied by Master Eraqus—he still hadn’t spoken to Vanitas outside of threatening to break his limbs if he hurt Aqua or Ventus. 

So, he had to fight to keep a Mandrake from popping out when Terra went around the couches, dropped his plate onto the coffee table, and sank heavily into the seat on the opposite side of Vanitas. He distinctly did not look at Vanitas, but… he didn’t look to be trying to look away, either. 

It took a second, but Terra soon relaxed into the seat. He dug into the seat beside him and yanked a little throw pillow out from the corner of the armrest, and playfully tossed it at Ventus. Then he leaned forward for his veggies and book, striking up a conversation with Ventus. 

Aqua was smiling at him fondly. Vanitas found himself watching Terra in case he tried something sudden and vicious. 

They talked for five minutes more at least before Terra’s sudden and vicious attack came. He took one of the pieces on his plate, a whole veggie, and turned his head in time to watch where he threw it. 

Vanitas, at least, was watching, and had fast reflexes. He caught it, fingers crunching into it. 

He turned it over in his hand, surprised to see a whole red bell pepper there. He glanced up at the man, who was now looking at him. 

“Stop worrying Aqua,” was all Terra said, before looking back to Ventus and either continuing his conversation, or starting a new one (Vanitas hadn’t been listening). 

Vanitas scoffed, and grunted “whatever”, and then turned back to his reward for… something. 

He briefly wondered if it was poisoned or something, then remembered it was a  _ bell pepper _ , and he decided it was worth the risk. He took a huge bite out of the pepper, glanced at Terra again for only a moment… and had to bury a tiny half-smile in its meat. 

After all, this was Terra trying. That much was obvious. He recognized that, for reasons even Vanitas didn’t understand, Aqua and Ventus wanted him to stick around. It was tiring being the asshole (Vanitas was well aware), and so he was giving up, and giving Vanitas something of a chance. 

However small a chance that was.

* * *

Weeks passed. They trained together to pass the time, since Terra and Ventus were still gunning one day for Keyblade masters themselves. Fighting with Terra was nearly as…  _ fun _ as fighting with Aqua or Ventus. After all, there was nothing quite like beating someone down with brute strength alone. Magic was technical skill and agility took practice, but at the end of the day, when you had strength, you just  _ had it _ .

Terra normally beat him, although that was because Vanitas went until he couldn't stand anymore, like Xehanort always made him, and eventually his legs gave out. Terra was slower and bigger, which meant he wasn’t moving as much and wasn’t wasting so much energy, so he lasted longer. There were a few times he folded before Vanitas’ legs gave out, but so far that was not common. 

Vanitas was determined to change that eventually. 

So much training meant sleep was often easy at night. He still slept hot as hell, and needed a Blue Sea Salt so he didn’t drown in his own sweat, but once it started snowing in his room, he was not long for this world. 

The only problem was that now that he was fighting Terra, he found himself being reawoken by nightmares in the middle of the night. He’d always gotten them, but now they were worse. 

Terra just… looked  _ so much  _ like Master Xehanort’s reincarnation.  _ So much _ . There were some mornings when he wasn’t fully entirely awake, but would see Terra and his heart would  _ instantly  _ speed up. Terra’s dark lookalikes may not have been what had started his…  _ lessons _ , over a decade ago, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t connect the dots, didn’t mean that they hadn’t taught him in the past year, too. 

Was he afraid of Terra? No. 

Was he afraid of who Terra reminded him of, though…?

Well…

Judging by the way his mind was raging…

Vanitas shot up out of his bed at half past fuck-off in the morning, sweating all over despite the chilly Unversed sat on the shelf above him and probably napping. Two red lights turned on above him, so he shielded his eyes to look up at the Unversed hovering there. Two Sonic Blasters watched him, hovering close. Vanitas begrudgingly wouldn’t admit what these Unversed stood for. 

Instead he turned his head down and brought his knees up, hiding his eyes away in an effort to pretend he wasn’t shaking out of his skin. The red light on the bed vanished, and he felt one of the Sonic Blasters press up against him, as if for comfort. Its metal dug into his skin, but he kind of appreciated the effort. 

_ Kind of _ . 

“Back off,” he snapped, shoving it away. It twirled in the air, retracting its two halves together, and then disappeared. Its companion wisely got no closer. 

Finally, his shaking stopped enough that he could move a little. The Sonic Blaster whirred and clicked at him, its light shining back on him now that he was lifting his head. He waved it off, but it didn’t leave like its companion. 

Vanitas didn’t bother to mention how relieved he was. 

He fucking hated dreams like these. He got them semi-frequently, and often had him waking up at night, but normally it just took a second of deep breathing to calm down. This one just… sunk its claws in and wouldn’t let go.

It was going to take a little more than sitting still for a few minutes.

He scrubbed a hand through black hair, mussing it up drastically. Wiped at his face (wiped at his eyes), and kicked away the blanket covering his legs. It was getting suffocating anyway. 

When he stood and paced a few times around his room, the Sonic Blaster rose and hovered above him, helpfully shining its light at his feet so he didn't trip over anything. When that wasn’t enough to calm his still raging mind, he thought late night exploration was in order.

This happened sometimes, although not all that often. When breathing and pacing weren’t enough, when he had to walk and really move just to get his mind off things— _ abomination _ —then late night wanderings helped. He’d once gone up to the summit after a really bad one. He hoped he wouldn’t have to today. 

He dragged a shirt over his head, one of Ventus’ old ones apparently since he didn’t really have any of his own. He slipped into his veiny boots, then opened the door to escape the suffocating silence of his room. The Unversed happily followed along, lighting his path and lighting up hallways he passed. It often accompanied him on these excursions, and he didn’t mind, being honest. He almost enjoyed the company. It helped that it wasn’t vocal, pretty much at all. 

They wandered for some time. The size of the castle at least meant that he could take corridors and hallways, and not worry about accidentally swinging by his room again, so wandering really was just  _ wandering _ . He found a number of the same rooms he had found exploring over a month ago, found the weight room and the pool.

Found the library. The shelves were lined with more books than Vanitas had ever seen previously. He thought of the one he had seen here—the one about fire and its properties—and decided to go check it out.

Definitely didn’t expect the bright yellow light shining in the corner. 

The Sonic Blaster rose up above the shelves when it, too, spotted the light. It was well past midnight, so which of the goody two-shoes Wayfinders would be up was a mystery to him. Ventus could sleep (had slept) like the dead, Aqua was an early riser (gross), which meant she was early to bed. Terra was… well, a meathead. Vanitas couldn’t picture him up so late and spending the time  _ in the library _ . So who? ...Chirithy? Vanitas honestly thought it was too stupid to read. 

The Sonic Blaster dropped back beside him and chirped something he couldn't immediately understand, its mechanical accent thick. Instead, he trailed down the shelves and shelves, following the light.

He was lead to a small lounging area, with a desk and two large armchairs. A big green floor lamp shone light on its user. As for who it was…

Ventus was sat there, two piles of books around him, halfway between one page and another in whichever he was reading. He hadn’t noticed Vanitas at all, or if he had, he wasn’t saying anything. 

He looked pale as death, limp in places. He looked like he hadn’t fallen asleep at all yet. And Vanitas was pretty sure that, judging by the day previous and how much he was dragging, he hadn’t slept well the night before, either. 

Vanitas figured that one of those book piles was an “Already read” pile, and the next was a “to read” pile. Which meant he probably hadn't gone to sleep at all. And didn’t seem to be planning on going to sleep, either. 

As he approached, Ventus heard his boots scuffing on carpet. He picked up his head and, much to Vanitas’ surprise, gave a loud, annoyed groan when he spotted him. 

Weren’t they kind of over that? Sure, Vanitas poked fun at him and didn’t  _ really _ tend to apologize like Chirithy insisted, but he didn’t think that earned him a groan of  _ that  _ caliber.

Maybe Ventus just wanted to be alone? He had never struck Vanitas as any sort of introvert, but times had changed, he supposed. 

“What do you want?” Ventus demanded. The bags beneath his eyes told enough stories of little sleep for Vanitas to know this wasn’t a first time occurrence.

“...Nothing,” Vanitas said, not expecting the bitterness in his voice. He hadn’t even  _ done _ anything, hadn’t  _ said _ anything.

Maybe it was a nightmare? Like Vanitas’? Or maybe…?

“Why are you up?”

Vanitas harrumphed, recalling his companion, who went back to his heart without a sound. He shrugged, putting his hands on his hips since he didn’t have pockets today. “No reason,” he lied. Ventus didn’t have to know. “Although it looks like you ain’t even gone to sleep yet.”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“Geez!” Vanitas said, hands going into the air. “I was just making an observation! What’s got  _ your _ panties in a twist?” He turned to the bookshelf behind him, skimming its contents briefly. There was a book on the  _ Dandelions _ , whatever that meant. The name felt familiar on his tongue, but not like the flower, so he took it out to skim the cover. The book looked old as hell. 

Ventus continued glaring at him when he turned back around, glare heavy against his chest like he expected him to leave. But Vanitas would  _ not _ be forced out, not when  _ he _ made the decision to come here. Ventus could goddamn leave, and maybe go to bed and quit being cranky. 

After a moment, Ventus’ glare dropped a little. He sighed, and spat, “ _ look _ . I’m afraid to fucking fall asleep, because I keep thinking that when I do, I’m not gonna fucking wake up again. Okay? I’m not in the mood to be teased about it. Bug me in the morning.”

Vanitas  _ almost _ didn’t. He almost didn’t heed his request, he  _ almost _ didn’t listen to Ventus and almost teased him right just then, because he was Vanitas and, okay, maybe he was doing “better” like Aqua said, maybe he was trying, but when a good tease left itself open like that, he  _ really _ didn’t have a choice. Who was afraid of  _ falling asleep? _

But then, he stopped and thought. 

Ventus had once accidentally fallen asleep. It had been Vanitas’ fault, being honest, or at least he had a hand in it. Then they’d both retreated, and Ventus slept for over a decade straight. Nevermind when Vanitas had first been ripped from Ventus’ heart (that time  _ not _ his fault…!). Vanitas didn’t remember the time that they were separated with much clarity, but he did remember looking down on his former body, himself formless and newly born, and watching it sleep with dead eyes, thinking  _ wasn’t it pathetic _ ? 

...Maybe Ventus had good reason to be afraid of… falling asleep. Fears were often irrational—after all, Xehanort was dead, and Vanitas still imagined—feared?—him coming back for him at times when his mind wouldn’t stop thinking. Even if Xehanort had never cared about him… wasn’t that what made it all irrational?

He frowned. Ventus looked back to his book, now glaring at it. He flipped to the next page, but Vanitas got the feeling that he wasn’t really reading it. 

Whatever. Vanitas wasn’t doing anything wrong. He took his book about the Dandelions or whatever, and dropped into the armchair a few feet from Ventus, kicking his feet up over one of the arms and cracking it open.

The tension, though, was unbearable. Ventus was still angry about something—probably, he was embarrassed. If he was anything like Vanitas, there would be Yellow Mustards popping up all over the place. He was embarrassed that he was afraid to fall asleep, and was keeping the tension high so that Vanitas wouldn’t poke fun at and talk to him.

Unfortunately for him, Vanitas  _ thrived _ in tension.

But he was getting better. He was getting better, wasn’t feeling like wasting the energy to be an ass… and sometimes, he was scared too. 

“Sometimes, I can’t look at Terra.”

_ Fuck _ , if that didn’t sound  _ pathetic _ ! Why did that sound so different in his head? He sounded fucking  _ weak _ !

Vanitas scowled in the same instant that Ventus dropped his. Vanitas fought to keep his face from turning a shade of red while Ventus just stared, shocked. 

“...Why?” 

His voice was so different from before. Where he sounded angry before, now he was just curious. Almost…  _ pitying _ .

Vanitas  _ hated pity _ . 

“He looks like my Master.”

Ventus cocked his head to the side, in such a fashion that he looked exactly like the stupid Chirithy. Vanitas wondered if he even knew who he was talking about.

Then, Ventus scowled again, and said, “he looks  _ nothing like _ Xehanort.”

Vanitas looked away from him, to the towering bookshelves. Kind of fancied climbing up on top of them and hiding away. Why did he bring this up again? In some lame attempt to make Ventus feel better, because he was “doing better”, now? What was he thinking? “Not totally. But Xemnas and Ansem were Xehanort too, and he expected me to obey them.”

Ventus opened his mouth to retort, but apparently could think of nothing to say. He closed it again, understanding. 

“It’s mostly just after a long night,” Vanitas went on, for reasons he couldn’t understand. “If I dream. Then I go to breakfast and suddenly Xemnas is sitting right there staring at me and—“  _ Telling me what to do, telling me I’m worthless, an abomination, that I’m lucky they gave me another chance, that—no stop thinking about it! _ “And it just takes a minute,” he finished lamely, frowning. 

Ventus watched him, frowning with one corner. He certainly couldn’t hear Vanitas’ thoughts, although he might get an idea of the— _ panic fear pathetic self hatred and _ —feelings in his heart. But still, he seemed to know. That, or he was an incredible empath. Maybe both.

Much to Vanitas’ surprise, Ventus reached over and touched his shin, the nearest part of him he could reach. He touched just above the boot, so he could feel his skin. When Vanitas looked up at him, Ventus wore the saddest eyes (and the  _ hugest _ mood change), really and honestly feeling for him. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, his words sincere. “That must suck. But I mean, if there are days you don’t want to come down for breakfast, it’s okay. I’ll get it. Aqua will get it.”

Vanitas rolled his eyes, although a weak chuckle shook his chest. “It’s whatever. We were talking about you.”

Ventus finally sat back, dropping his book into his lap. Really relaxing. “It’s whatever,” he agreed. “I’ll get over it. Tomorrow afternoon I’ll get so tired that I can’t stay awake and I won’t have a choice but to sleep. I know that I’ll wake up in the morning, it’s just…”

“Stupid?” Vanitas offered, knowing the feeling. 

“Irrational,” Ventus said instead. Then sighed. Blew air at his bangs. “And yeah.  _ Really  _ stupid. It’s been harder with Sora not around, is all.”

Ahh, the stupid copycat. “Right. He was never here.”

“Yeah, but it’s—different? I mean, I didn’t even know his name until a few months ago, but he was still one of the most important people in my life. I think that since he…  _ disappeared _ , it’s just been upsetting my head. The not knowing. It’s the worst of it all.”

“Ah.” The copycat didn’t mean much to him. Sure, together they were three parts of one whole, brothers of a kind. But Ventus was far more that, than Sora was. Sora was only connected to Vanitas because  _ Ventus _ was connected to Sora. 

Still. Ventus felt it hard. And Vanitas supposed that he…  _ felt for him _ . 

“I get it,” he said lamely.

“You don’t have to pretend,” Ventus said softly, knowing. 

Vanitas just shrugged, looking at the book he didn’t even get to read. Suddenly, it wasn’t that interesting anymore. Suddenly, he was feeling tired again. 

Maybe talking helped. Even though he didn’t like talking most of the time, maybe at night it…  _ helped _ . 

_ Whatever _ . 

“Well,” he said, tossing aside his book and not bothering to put it back, or even make sure it landed safely. “I’m done being embarrassed, so I’m going to bed. You probably should too, so when we spar and I kick your ass, it isn’t  _ that  _ easy. Night, Ventus.”

Ventus paused. Vanitas completely missed him asking “embarrassed…?” very quietly. He stood and stretched, turned toward the hall and headed out, stretching his arms above his head. 

He didn’t miss what Ventus said next.

“Hey Vanitas!” Ventus apparently set aside his book and stood, following him out. He was kind of swaying where he stood, definitely looked not long from passing out. Should  _ definitely _ be getting some sleep soon. 

“What?”

Ventus stopped and grabbed his arm, huffing for a second. Then he stood, and gave Vanitas the most brilliant smile that Vanitas thought he had ever seen. 

“You should call me Ven,” he said, roughing a hand through his golden hair. The light had switched out back in the corner—was he intending on heeding his warning? “All my friends do.”

All his— _ what _ ?

Vanitas almost retorted. Almost said something that would definitely cancel what Ventus had  _ just _ declared. Almost did…  _ something _ .

But he didn’t. He just stopped, and stared at the bizarre boy before him.

_ All my friends do. _

He said it so simply! Just like that! Like it was so easy. Like they hadn’t been bitter enemies, not too long ago. Like Vanitas hadn’t once forced his hand and threatened his friends. Like— like—

_ Like he was doing better _ .

Vanitas took a small, but deep breath, stared at the boy who now shifted foot to foot, still half swaying. He  _ was _ doing better. And Ventus recognized that. And was really extending a hand in friendship. 

_ Sometimes, the symptom for wanting friends, is being sad that you don’t have any _ .

And sometimes, he figured, it was being happy when someone finally really offered it. 

“Yeah. Okay. Night, Ven. Um… go to sleep, too.” Because apparently, friends worried. At least, that’s all Aqua did. 

Ventus—Ven laughed a little, nodding. He clearly felt much better than he had when Vanitas had first found him. “I’ll try.”

Vanitas rolled his eyes, but it didn’t feel exasperated or exhausted or even teasing. It felt more amused than anything else. He turned away from the idiot kid— _ his idiot friend? Was that weird? _ —and headed back out to the hallway.

Once he was out of sight of Ven for sure, he finally released the Blue Sea Salt clawing its way at his heart. When it was finally free, it made a loud noise only Vanitas could hear, and twirled all around, full of energy. It looked at him, and promptly plopped onto his head and into his hair. He didn’t hardly mind. 

He had a friend. 

_ He had a friend. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :DDDDDD  
> Happy New Year! Here's hoping for a wonderful 2020!  
> You guys I'm so proud of myself for updating today; I was like so close to forgetting until my friend said something about post-post nerves.   
> Also I finally read the BBS novel and you guys,,,,,,,, I would die for Vani I swear. That poor boy breaking my heart ;-;


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yellow Mustard - Embarrassed  
> Mandrake - Surprised  
> Shoegazer - Defensive  
> Sonic Blaster - Fear

It was over a week later that Vanitas realized he hadn’t thought about leaving in a long while. 

Well, “a long while” being since he had hid away in his room and scared his— _ friends? _ — companions into thinking he was starving. But even before that, it hadn’t come up  _ all _ that often.

It was fascinating, watching Aqua and Terra don their armor and face off with Ends of the Earth and Brightcrest. They all wore a pauldron on their shoulders, Ven included, that had a huge button in the center. They smacked it, and the change was instantaneous—as instant as it used to be for Vanitas to put up his helmet. They smacked it, and went from keyblade masters and trainees, to hardened warriors. 

And it was in that instant that he thought of getting off this mountain. 

He and Ven sat side by side, watching Aqua and Terra prepare to spar. Ven was saying he had a feeling Aqua was testing Terra to see if he was ready to take the Mark of Mastery again—he and Aqua fully believed that Terra should have achieved Master with Aqua, so Aqua was going to go to Master Yen Sid (Vanitas thought he knew that name, but he had never met the man) to petition for Terra to retake it. 

Vanitas and Terra had now been sparring for a while. Even he thought Terra was probably ready. 

Honestly, he didn't  _ seriously  _ think about leaving. It was more like, he was reminded of his thoughts when Terra and Aqua donned their armor. He almost hoped they’d transform their keyblades into gliders. Wouldn’t  _ that _ be a spectacle! 

But he did remember wanting to learn how to do that. His suit was so tattered it really didn’t count for armor at all, he couldn’t call his helmet, and he no longer had control of hundreds upon thousands of keys. If he could do what they could do, he could— _ escape _ —cause all sorts of trouble. 

Terra put out his blade, Aqua told him not to hold back, and they sprang. Their keyblades clashed so hard that sparks flew. Ven winced at the noise, Vanitas grinned at the sheer adrenaline. 

Even though he was on the sidelines, training felt  _ nothing _ like this. He had fought them, of course, very seriously in recent and not-so-recent years, but whatever they had experienced, possessed or locked away in the Realm of Darkness, had them fighting with a power that Vanitas certainly wouldn’t be able to match. The intense strength, determination, agility, magic; the clanging of keyblades against one another… it was like music to his ears. 

He was going to train. With them. Until he could nearly match them. He  _ would _ . He didn’t plan on leaving for a long while. Weeks ago Vanitas was an idiot—he wouldn’t be able to do any of this on his own. 

Maybe one day. But first he had to figure out the armor and the glider. 

Beside him, Ven winced hard. Terra had made to land a devastating jumping smash attack on her (not unlike one of Vanitas’ favorites, he definitely didn’t notice), but the Master threw up her Barrier so harshly that it radiated from her body and sent him  _ flying _ . Terra hit the ground hard, stunned, and didn’t move for a couple seconds. The other three watched with bated breath while Terra recovered.

It only took a few more seconds for Terra to climb back to his feet and take up Ends of the Earth rather proudly, brandishing it and moving with a speed Vanitas didn’t expect after being hit so hard. Aqua threw up a block with her blade, and they continued. 

“That armor must have really saved his ass,” Vanitas commented. After a hit like that, he probably should have been knocked out. Bare-skinned, only Vanitas himself would have been able to recover so quickly, and well… he’d never really had a choice otherwise. 

“It’s padded on the inside too, in all the important places,” Ven agreed quietly. A Flood was sat between them, but not by accident. Still, when Ven was so close, Vanitas tried to have something occupying his hands. Now, they were taking turns petting the little emotion, who was absolutely reveling in the attention. “So that absorbs a lot of the shock.”

“No wonder you lived after being dropped like ten thousand feet.”

“It was not ten thousand,” Ven said, though a little laugh was in his voice. 

Vanitas crossed his arms over his knees and settled a cheek there, watching the fight. Chatting was getting easier. He still wasn’t much of a talker, after spending most of his life alone. He didn’t really know how to continue a conversation, but Ven and Aqua didn’t seem to mind that he just stopped mid-conversation. He and Terra weren’t quite there yet. It could stay that way; for now, two was plenty. 

Terra started swinging quickly; Vanitas figured he probably entered some sort of limit, or maybe a Rage form like the copycat had? The power was all there, but each swing was fast and quickly followed by another. Aqua backpedaled several steps, before quickly casting Blizzard at the ground beneath her feet and throwing Brightcrest down. Just as Terra made to swing at her face, she mounted Brightcrest, and suddenly was moving like a surfboard, taking her far to the other end of the courtyard. 

Terra was thrown off by the sudden disappearance of his opponent, but quickly gave chase, then leveled Ends of the Earth with the ground and cast Quake, shaking the whole ground and throwing Aqua off her feet. 

“ _ So cool _ .”

“You think so?” Ven suddenly said with a laugh. Vanitas hadn’t even realized he’d spoken aloud. 

Vanitas quickly ducked his head, a Yellow Mustard suddenly appearing and cuddling at his back. “Whatever.”

“It’s okay!” Ven said. “I didn’t mean to laugh, I’m sorry. Who was cool? I mean, obviously both of them, but I mean, what caught your attention?”

“ _ Obviously _ ,” Vanitas mocked. He fell silent, buried his fingers in the Flood’s back to scratch it maybe a little harder than was pleasant, then mumbled, “Aqua.”

“Oh!! Yeah, she an’ me figured out how to do that after we fought you and—and—well, after we got Terra back. She like, turns it into a half-glider without actually transforming it. It’s kinda awesome. Mine doesn’t change at all, but I figure it’s ‘cause that’s where our strengths lie, you know.”

“Wait,” Vanitas turned on him, eyes wide, “ _ you _ can do that?”

“Yeah! I showed Roxas how to do it, too, or tried to but it’s kinda different with two keyblades, I guess. I could show you, too, if you want.”

Vanitas didn’t say how much he actually did want that, but Ven seemed to get it when he laughed. “Do what you want,” Vanitas snapped, looking away from Ventus and the battle. The Yellow Mustard pushed harder against his back, apparently in solidarity. 

“All it takes is a keyblade and a little bit of magic,” Ven went on, watching the battle unfold. “If your keyblade does it right, it’ll be super easy to manage, although I think Xion had trouble with hers on account of it not being ‘real’, I guess.”

“Not… real?”

“Yeah. She and Riku said it was some sort of sham, or had been, or something. Seems real, works like the real thing, but its mechanisms are a touch off, I guess. I dunno, she’s working with Master Yen Sid to get it fixed, she said.”

Not real. Xion’s keyblade wouldn’t work, because it wasn’t a real keyblade, not chosen like with the copycat, or trained for like with the Wayfinders. 

Void Gear wasn’t a ‘real’ keyblade, either. It wasn’t chosen, or trained for. He had been born above Ventus’ dead stare, and had started using it within the first day that Xehanort had started training him. Since then, he had it drilled into Vanitas’ head that the blade was like him, a fake ripped from something good, only real to those who didn’t take a second glance. 

It took a real keyblade to do all the shit that the Wayfinders could do. The gliders, the armor, everything. Vanitas had always known he wasn’t a real keyblade wielder pretty much since birth, but it had never hit him as hard as it was right now. 

_ Of course _ . 

“But I’ll show you how to do it,” Ven went on, even though Vanitas really wasn’t listening anymore. “It’ll be fun! I promise.”

“Don’t bother,” Vanitas said to his knees. He called on Void Gear, presenting it before them. Terra stopped midbattle to watch what he was up to, but Aqua didn’t notice quickly enough to stop the swing of her blade from coming for him. “It isn’t real.”

“...Really? It always hurt real enough.”

“It’s barely half a keyblade at all. Can’t lock worlds or hearts or any of that keyblade  _ bullshit _ .” Vanitas vanished Void Gear and crossed his arms over his knees again, the thrill and excitement of the battle gone. The Yellow Mustard crooned at him and cuddled against his back again, so Vanitas quickly vanished it as well. Couldn’t it just let a kid  _ sulk _ ? Honestly.

“Hmmm,” Ven hummed, considering the place Void Gear had just been. “Well, if you really want to do it, we’ll find a way to make it happen. I bet anything Aqua knows! She knows pretty much everything.”

Vanitas glanced over at him, at how excited Ven suddenly looked for no reason at all. He fought off the corner of his mouth twitching up a little, instead looking away. “Why?” he asked after a moment. 

“It’s what friends do!!” Ven chirped, as if it was obvious. Aqua and Terra were slowing down their fight, although since Ven and Vanitas were no longer paying attention, the winner was unclear. Ven stood and waved to them when Terra leaned with his hand on the cement fencing just before the cliffs. He chased after his friends, supposedly off to tell them about this splendid new idea he had to have about a quarter of a synapse’s worth of a clue how to do. 

Vanitas watched his retreating back, partially surprised and astounded at the kid. Even after just settling into a sour mood, Ven had dragged him right back out. At least Vanitas understood why and how he had  _ so  _ many friends.

He wasn’t surprised to see a Mandrake pop up beside him and poke him, as if asking what was going on. “Go away,” he said, but with no bitterness in his voice. He waved the little emotion away, and it obediently disappeared.

Ven was talking with huge hand gestures, clearly exclaiming about their duel and “Terra, Master Yen Sid  _ has _ to give you your title now!!”. He even gestured emphatically toward Vanitas and Brightcrest, apparently sharing his brilliant idea. 

Aqua glanced over at him, her helmet magicked away, and leveled a pleased smile on him. She looked back when Ven asked if she was paying attention, which was just as well, because Vanitas’ face was redder than a tomato and felt hotter than the sun. 

He stormed back inside, but only because he didn’t want to be leveled with more embarrassing comments. Ven was bad enough.

* * *

“Sooooooo,” Aqua said after dinner dishes were done. They lounged in the sitting room again, Aqua and Terra on the loveseat, Ven curled up on one end of the couch with Chirithy in his lap while Vanitas was upside down on the other, feet in the air and inky black blood rushing to his head. The  _ Fire: A Story of Birth and Death _ book was before him, which sounded far too intense considering it was a book on fire spells and commands. 

Vanitas let his book hit the ground and groaned aloud. She had been eyeing him ever since Ven goodnaturedly tattled, and Vanitas had known the question was coming for a long long time. 

“You want to learn how to keyblade glide?”

“Ven’s a liar,” Vanitas snapped. “Don’t listen to anything he told you.” Whatever Ven wanted to try, Void Gear was still a fraud. 

“C’mon Van,” Ven said, stretching his toes out to poke his side. “You were really excited about it. Thought Aqua was cool as hell.”

“Shut  _ up _ ,” Vanitas snapped. “Don’t call me Van.”

“Aqua calls you Van.”

“Aqua’s different.”

“Why?” Ven asked, voice going cheeky. “‘Cause you think she’s cool as hell?”

Vanitas shot him a withering glare, picked up his book, and physically buried his face in it.

“Ven,” Aqua said softly. “We’ll show you how to glide, Van, no sweat.”

“Can’t,” Vanitas snapped. “Useless keyblade.” 

“No keyblade is useless,” Terra said levelly, certainly sounding like a master after the boatload of praise Ven dumped on him. 

“You don’t know mine.” He just. Didn’t want to talk about it. Ven’s heart was in the right place, he supposed, and for some reason or another, Aqua wanted to help him, too. But there was nothing that they could do. This would be his one chance to not feel trapped because of his stupid portals and the trail of keys not working, and of course it would be dashed. Why should it be any different? And he just didn’t want to think about it. 

He just wanted to read this bizarre book about fire spells, probably set something on fire that definitely shouldn’t be able just to piss off one of the Wayfinders, and leave it at that. 

“Well we can at least give it a shot,” Aqua went on. There was movement on that end, and when Vanitas peeked past his book, he saw Aqua standing with a big smile on her face. 

“No,” Vanitas said, prickling. The walls felt like they were closing in around him very quickly; with them paying him so much attention, it was turning his stomach into knots. Ventus was too close and saying things he didn’t want to think about, and Aqua was getting close and wearing such a sad little smile, and “ _ come on Van, we can at least try _ …”

He bristled and shifted, sitting back up. A Scrapper appeared behind him, watching her near. Ventus beside him voiced sudden concern, although his voice was a blur in Vanitas’ ears. 

“What do you say? There’s no harm in trying.”

_ “Maybe he left his light in you. There’s no harm in trying to forge the X-blade here and now.” _

His vision tunneled, seeing Aqua approach and nothing else. And in that unfortunate second, someone reached over and touched him. 

_ No _ !!

Before he knew what was happening, Void Gear was in his hand, and he knocked Xehanort to the side, pouncing to his feet. He tripped back over something, but the Scrapper kept him from hitting the floor. Before he could move to escape— _ Xehanort would punish him later but right then he didn’t care he just had to get away _ —someone came up behind him and grabbed his keyblade arm, hoisting him up off the ground completely. Void Gear fell from his hand and hit the ground. They demanded to know what the  _ hell  _ he thought he was doing but he could barely breathe let alone answer. Unversed were appearing in waves, he could feel each creation, and the noises only he could hear were filling and swarming in his head so he could hear nothing else but his own pleas. 

“ _ Put me down!! Put me down!!! I can’t do it without him I tried put me  _ down _!!! _ ”

“Terra stop!!” 

All movement ceased besides Vanitas’ kicking feet. He tried writhing and twisting but Xehanort’s grip was too fast, he couldn’t get away. His throat was closing up and his pleas fell silent. He just hoped Xehanort ended his punishment quickly. 

“Vanitas, I need you to breathe,” someone suddenly said, and now that his voice was silent he could hear it. He lashed out a foot in the voice’s direction; he would  _ not _ take this without a fight, he had decided long ago. 

“ _ Whoa _ !”

“Vanitas,  _ breathe! _ ”

He didn’t know what they expected of him but his lungs were about one-millionth the size they should be and he couldn’t pull in air. He tried kicking again but it felt weak, he couldn’t get away and he didn’t know what he’d done but now he had to sit through his punishment, and Xehanort was  _ always _ worse when he was mad. 

“I’m putting you down now, Vanitas. Don’t try anything.”

What could he  _ try _ ?

But then, his feet were back on the ground and he wanted to run, but his knees went weak and they hit the ground instead, but it was alright because a whole bunch of Unversed crowded around him and no matter what, and as much as he didn’t always like it, he always had them and they made him feel safe. They were Shoegazers around him mostly, and they did what they really did best. Airtight shields formed around them, around him, keeping him away from the rest of the world. 

_ He was safe _ . 

“Vani, honey, I need you to breathe, okay?” A voice said, and that certainly sounded nothing like Xehanort. He had never called him… Vani? What was that?

Still, he did what the voice asked, which was much easier now that his Unversed surrounded him. With each breath his lungs expanded, he pulled in more air, his vision and hearing cleared until he looked up and saw—

He was no longer in the desert of his once-home, where Xehanort would train him mercilessly, or leave him abandoned for days only to return and take out his frustration on him. Instead, he was in a decent-sized sitting room. There was a controlled fire off to the side, couches, and…

Aqua, Terra, and Ventus were watching him. Terra was nearest, just a little distance from him, arms crossed, face a mix of anger— _ don’t look _ —and worry. Aqua was crouched a short distance from him, probably the one who had called him that name. Ventus was on the couch, his nose bleeding, but even he looked worried. 

They all looked so… so…...  _ pitying _ .

“Hi, Vani,” Aqua said softly, once she realized he was more aware. “I need you to drop the shields.”

“No,” he said sharply. Ventus was bleeding, and it wasn’t hard to figure out that he was at fault for that. They’d be mad. 

The Shoegazers silently renewed their shields, each bristling and watching the Wayfinders, wary.

“Yes. I need to make sure you’re okay. Drop your shields, honey.” Aqua took a step forward, and one of the Shoegazers bristled and strengthened its shield. “Vani.” 

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not. Drop your shields. It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

Aqua sighed a little, wearing a sad smile, and let her knees loose. She fell to her backsides. “I know. We scared you. And I’m sorry.”

She was…  _ sorry _ ? He hurt Ventus, but  _ she _ was sorry? “...Why? I hurt Ventus.”

“You mostly missed,” Ventus said quietly, from off to the side. Chirithy popped up beside him and moved to stand on his shoulders, watching and waiting. “Just hit my nose, is all. We freaked you out.”

“What happened?” Terra was the one to ask, taking two steps closer. The Shoegazer nearest him quickly remounted its defenses, seeing the same parallel between Terra and Xehanort that Vanitas often saw on bad mornings. “What did they do?”

Vanitas eyed him, black hair falling into his eyes. The Scrapper nearest to him nudged him gently and he made no move to stop it. 

...Honestly, even he wasn’t entirely sure. What could he tell them? He didn’t want to chat and it triggered a panic attack? He was becoming less and less of a threat to them since moving in and he knew that, but if he were to say something like  _ that _ ? He’d be a  _ baby _ . 

“It’s okay,” Ven said, leaning his chin on the back of the couch. Blood was smeared on his face; at least it was only a tiny amount. “Tell us, so we don’t do it again. Like, we can’t shut the lights off on Aqua, and don’t  _ ever _ use a sleeping spell on me.”

“I don’t—“ know? Didn’t know? Or just didn’t want to think about it? Even he wasn’t sure. His head was still all sorts of scattered, was still a little loud but at least all the Unversed were quiet now. 

“Please, Vani,” Aqua said, moving a little closer. The nearest Shoegazer braced itself. 

“I just… when I don’t wanna talk then I  _ don’t wanna talk _ ,” he forced himself to say. Didn’t that sound  _ pathetic _ ? At least Aqua and Ventus’ triggers made sense, but his was what? Sharing a friendly conversation? Pathetic. “Because I get into my head, and when I do that I can’t always see what’s around me and when I can’t see what touches me it—“ He frowned hard, hugged himself tighter, and looked away. “It freaks me out. A-and however—however someone grabbed me, my master used to grab me like that—“  _ when I didn’t want to be his perfect puppet—  _ “and hoist me up and—“  _ “I’ll teach you a lesson you won’t soon forget _ !”

Terra was the one who sighed this time, glancing to the side. When Vanitas looked his way, he explained, “sorry about that. I wanted to get you away from Ven, but then you were moving pretty quickly and I didn’t know where you were gonna go, or what you’d do. It won’t happen again.” 

Vanitas eyed him silently, warily. Terra certainly looked the guilty part. “...Okay.”

“Vani,” Aqua said softly, voice low. There was that name again. Vanitas wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it, especially since it was so new, but… he didn’t entirely hate it. Not when she said it. It didn’t feel like condescending baby talk when she said it. “It’s okay, if you don’t want to talk. It’s okay to tell us when you’re uncomfortable, and it’s okay to not want to hurt. Everything that happened… maybe it shouldn’t have happened, but it did, and it’s okay. Just tell us when something isn’t right, and we’ll fix it.”

That was ridiculous. What, were they at his beck and call now? How would they fix it?

Or… would they just try? Aqua seemed very fond of that word, try. She used it a lot. They’d ‘try’, they’d ‘do their best’, they’d… 

They’d be better friends, better help, than anyone else he’d ever had. He had never really had anyone to depend on before, ever. Even just the promise that they’d try to help was more kindness than anyone had ever shown him. 

But why? They were light and he was darkness, and he’d even made that choice. Why would they want to be any sort of kind to a Darkness? 

That was a choice they were making. Ventus was his friend now. Aqua definitely acted like she wanted to be, and even Terra was getting there. Maybe that was something friends did, maybe… 

“...Okay.”

“Okay?” Aqua smiled, her face melting in relief. “Drop your shields. It’s okay, Ven’s okay, and we’re not mad.”

Part of him—something young and weak, something brittle—-wanted her to promise. Promise that they weren’t mad. Promise that it was okay. But if he was their friend, and if they were his, then he had to trust that it was okay. Right? That’s what friends did. They trusted each other. 

“I hurt Ven,” he said again, voice softer. He looked right to Ven. To his credit, if Ven was hurting, then he was hiding it very well. He was watching Vanitas, cheek leaned on his arm, as if he was waiting. 

Chirithy had moved to the end of the couch closer to Vanitas. It hopped off the arm and landed right before one of the nervous Shoegazers. It glared at Chirithy, but recognized no threat. “Remember, Vanitas? What we talked about? About what you’re supposed to do when you mess up?”

He looked at it, trying to remember the last time they had a conversation. It was… in his room, hidden away. 

_ “Just say you're sorry, and mean it.” _

Ven was the one quick to protest, guilt in his voice. “He didn’t mess—“

“I’m sorry,” Vanitas said, digging deep into his dark heart to find the sincerity. It wasn’t that it wasn’t there, because it was. He just… hadn’t been very sincere many times in his life. Sarcasm was an incredible defense mechanism when your entire life was either pain or loneliness. “That I hurt Ven. And tried to hurt you.” He looked up at Terra and remembered what he said. “It won’t happen again.” Not like that. Not so violent and sudden, and not… not on purpose. He didn’t like that he’d lost control so quickly.

Sparring was different, he hoped. 

Ven frowned to one side, which made Vanitas just a little more nervous. Then, softly, he said, “apology accepted. Just let us know when we get too close, or if you’re starting to panic, okay?”

“...Yeah. Okay.”

Chirithy waved a paw at him excitedly, which Vanitas thought was some sort of encouragement. Then it said, “then let them in,” and took a few steps back.

Right. Drop the shields. 

He lowered his knees first and looked at his companions. The Unversed were kind of cool, because he didn’t need to vocally ask them anything; they just understood it. One by one, they dropped their shields and vanished. Scrappers still hung back, and there were a few Sonic Blasters hovering above his head, but they stayed far enough back that they would pose no threat to the Wayfinders. 

Aqua quickly neared him, but apparently learned her lesson and stopped before she touched him. She got a good look at him, made sure her hands were fully visible, then moved them to touch his face. 

“Hey…!”

“I want to make sure you didn't hit your head,” she explained, reaching her hands around and into his hair. Her fingers brushed up and down his skull, then dropped to his shoulders, and started feeling up and down his keyblade arm. “And that Terra didn’t accidentally pull a muscle. Feeling any hurt at all? Sore?”

“...No.”

Her arms fell to her side, as if she was relieved. She smiled at him, then reached up to brush her hands through her own hair. “Good. That’s good. Okay.”

“...Okay,” he said, because he didn’t know what else to say but it felt like he should say  _ something _ . 

“Okay,” Aqua agreed with a laugh. She eyed him, a smile on her face. Quietly, she asked, “Vani… can I hug you?”

Vanitas quickly stiffened up again. Hug him? No one had ever  _ hugged  _ him before, why would she… want to do something like that? “Why would you do something like that?”

She shrugged, smile never leaving. “It helps. We hug all the time, because it reminds us that we love and care for one another, and especially when we’re hurting, it helps.”

_ Love _ ?  _ Care _ for one another? Who did she think she was fooling? They did no such thing, he had been… such a  _ jackass _ to them, and he’d never, well… he’d… never made up for it. She certainly felt none of those things for him; he’d only started to get to know them in the past couple months, they were barely friends at all. So why…?

...Then, feelings had always come much easier to the lights. Maybe…

_ An abomination beyond hope of salvation _ . 

Maybe… maybe Xehanort was wrong. Maybe this was his shot at salvation. Maybe he’d never had a hope, because Xehanort had never allowed it. 

“...Just a quick one,” he said, dark heart starting to pound away. Another Scrapper appeared behind him, but he ignored it. He had nothing to be nervous about. He hoped. 

“So quick,” Aqua agreed. She went in, thoroughly invading his personal space, and wrapped her arms around his back. She stayed for one, two, three, five seconds, then pulled away and backed up a foot as if to make up for it. “Now,” she said softly. “I bet that attack drained you. You look like you’re about to pass out. Maybe you should go to bed.”

Suddenly, bed sounded like the best thing on earth. Yes, he was  _ exhausted _ , because  _ fuck _ his emotions and his triggers and everything that had happened. Bed would be a nice place to hide away and not worry, at least for a little bit, about anyone touching him. Bed was good. 

He didn’t say anything, just nodded his head and wobbled to his feet. He shifted hard to the side after a moment, but before Aqua could catch him, the Scrappers got in there and grabbed his arms to hold him steady. The feel of their claws on his arms wasn’t exactly soothing, but it was relieving that he was able to process the difference between their claws and human hands. 

Once he was steady, he shooed the Scrappers away and headed toward the hall, out of the room and away from the Wayfinders. 

Only on the edge of his hearing, very much not where he could pay attention to it, did he hear four different voices calling “Good night, Vanitas”. He only lifted a hand in farewell, and followed the numerous Unversed to bed. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sonic Blaster - Fear  
> Jellyshade - Relaxed  
> Scrapper - Nervous

He woke up in the middle of the night again, and this time he wasn’t even surprised. 

The nightmares always came worse, after scares like that. When Xehanort had been particularly mad, when he was frustrated for something Vanitas hadn’t even done, when he thought that Vanitas needed to “let go of his emotions” and “stop being ‘like that’”. Vanitas had never really known what that meant, but he had quickly stopped doing whatever he had been doing in a pathetic attempt to save his skin. 

The Sonic Blasters appeared in a duo. They circled around his head, lights shining on and around him. He pretended, deep to himself where no one else would know, that they made him feel safe, not trapped like a prisoner.

It didn’t really work. 

Breathing sometimes helped his nightmares, and when it was really bad walking and apparently talking could help. But some nights, he got them so bad that he couldn’t even move to get up. He was shaking too much, or was seeing people in the shadows, anything made it too hard to do anything. 

It made it even harder when he saw Xehanort hovering there by the door. 

The Sonic Blasters didn’t dare shine their lights in that direction, and he was relieved. He didn’t want to see his old master— _ again, wait, but you didn’t see him, not really _ —so he could goddamn stay in the shadows. 

Even if his very presence was making Vanitas’ shaking worsen by the second. 

There weren’t many things that Vanitas could admit he was frightened of. His master was one of those things. 

Xehanort watched him get worse for minutes, watched him shake— _ but didn’t watch him cry he learned long ago not to cry _ —without doing anything. Vanitas glared up at him, pathetically dared him to come in while hoping that he didn’t take another step closer. 

Then, without a word, the man left. Vanitas had things he wanted to say to him on the tip of his tongue— _ once the shaking stops, maybe _ —and he hated that Xehanort had showed up, just to creep on him like a fucking stalker and then  _ leave _ . He wouldn’t even sit there to hear his own pupil’s lashing out? Fucking rude.

His hands, at least, soon stopped shaking. One of the Sonic Blasters settled beside him but didn’t crowd him, didn’t touch him, and he hated that he didn’t chase that one away. He didn’t need this. He was  _ fine _ . 

“Vanitas.”

The door opened again, slower this time. A head poked itself in again, and only because they recognized the voice did a Sonic Blaster shine its light on the intruder. 

For a second, only a second, Xehanort stood there. He looked young but tall. His hair was brown, though, and.... Wait… even  _ Young Xehanort _ , Xehanort’s own past self, had silver hair… so who…?

“I heard you struggling,” Terra said, moving into the door a little, just enough that he could close it behind him. “You okay?”

“Tch,” Vanitas snapped, face heating up. At least it was dark enough that hopefully the Master-to-be wouldn't notice. He thought Terra was Master Xehanort…  _ again _ ? Surely the scare from earlier had a hand, but shouldn’t he have been able to connect the dots? “Get fucked.”

“Good morning to you, too,” Terra agreed with a sigh. “Look, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t having another attack. Aqua would kill me if she found out that I knew and did nothing.”

“Then don’t tell her,” Vanitas snapped. 

Terra scoffed and came further into the room, closer to Vanitas. He had something short in his hand—like what, a  _ dagger _ ? Was he going to—what?

Terra brandished the weapon, only to reveal not a weapon at all. It was a… hair brush? With many soft bristles. Why did he have that? It was an awful weapon. 

“Scootch forward,” Terra said simply. He neared Vanitas’ pillow, and no that definitely didn’t spook him, not at all. Instead, Vanitas glared at him again.

“No, fuck off.”

“It’ll help.”

“I don’t need  _ your _ help,” Vanitas snapped. Talking with Ventus had helped last time. Maybe Ventus would be awake again. 

Terra sighed and leaned on the wall. “I’m not gonna do anything bad. My master used to do this when we were younger, when we didn’t want to be hugged. He’d just brush our hair until we started to pass out. Worked every time.”

Vanitas snorted. That was pathetic. “Whatever.”

“Hugging did help, sometimes,” Terra continued as if he hadn’t spoken. Was he  _ monologuing? _ “But sometimes it didn’t. I used to be claustrophobic, and when I’d get hugged, I sometimes felt trapped. It’d be too close. At least when he just brushed my hair and talked, he was touching, without  _ too _ touching. Helped me remember that someone who cared about me, was there for me.”

“That’s dumb,” Vanitas snapped. Brushing his hair made him feel  _ cared for _ ? How lame. Besides, who did Terra think he was fooling? He didn’t care for Vanitas. “You hate me.”

“I don’t  _ hate _ you,” Terra said. He nudged at Vanitas, and just because he was getting damn annoying, Vanitas scooted forward. Terra settled in behind him, and the only thing making him feel safe was the Sonic Blaster shining its light down on Terra’s head. “I don’t particularly like you, but I don’t have to, to not want you to suffer like this alone. Besides, Ven and Aqua like you. You can’t be  _ all _ bad. They’re a much better judge of character than I am.”

Vanitas wisely chose not to comment on that. Terra was a horrible judge of character, but he was definitely well aware of that, and with the man at his back and definitely within reach of his head and neck, he didn’t want to piss him off. He winced when Terra lifted the brush to his head, expecting some random reprimand or at least for Terra to rip the brush through. But Terra only tilted his head back a little when he passed it over his head. He was surprisingly gentle, for such a big man. 

“Besides,” Terra went on. “I saw the way they treated you, in the Real Organization. I was there the whole time, remember? It’s hard to hate a kid being mistreated like that, when you can only sit back and watch it happen.”

Vanitas’ face went red and he sharply turned his head away. He actually had forgotten that Terra, hidden away in the shadow of Ansem, had been there the whole time. He didn’t expect him to be conscious for it, though. “It was worse before.”

“That didn’t make it okay,” Terra hummed. “It was the same way they treated that girl. Like a puppet, to be manipulated and told off. I didn’t know it at the time, but it made me want to get in there and steal her away, to someplace safe. If I hadn’t known you before, maybe I’d have felt the same way about you.”

If possible, his face went redder and he was quickly accompanied by two Yellow Mustard. “Yeah, well, you did. And it’s too late now. They’re all dead.”

“Lucky for us,” Terra hummed. 

Vanitas didn’t really know how he was meant to reply to that, exactly, so he just hummed. Lucky, indeed. 

Terra fell silent after that. The Sonic Blasters shifted above them, the shadows moving but never very far. The only sound was the Unversed chattering amongst one another and the bristles passing through his hair. This all felt beyond bizarre. It was too domestic. Maybe Ven and Aqua didn’t hate him anymore, but Terra was supposed to hate him forever. Hadn’t half his travels in the decade prior been to hunt him down? Vanitas found it hard to believe that the desire was just… gone.

It didn’t sit right with him. It was part paranoia, an irrational fear that Terra would act on age old desires and strangle him where they were. But more than that, it didn’t feel right, didn’t feel natural. It wasn’t deserved. Didn’t Terra care about that at all? Vanitas had tried to kill Ven and Aqua on more than one occasion, and all of it had resulted in Terra losing his freedom for over a decade. Did he not care about that?

“You’re tense,” Terra suddenly said, making Vanitas flinch. 

“Yeah,” Vanitas snapped. “I’ve got my back turned on someone who would kill me given half a chance and half the brain cells that he would think it’s okay!” Terra retaliated against his words by taking the brush and whapping it on the top of his head. “Ow.”

“Uh huh,” Terra hummed, voice grumbling. Vanitas lifted his hand to rub the sore spot in his hair, glancing over his shoulder at the man. None of the Unversed had reacted to the assault besides keeping their eyes on Terra. They probably saw no real threat. “Well. We’re trying. You noticed, I assumed.”

“Some, harder than others,” Vanitas grumbled. Not necessarily trying to guilt him, but not necessarily  _ not _ trying to guilt him. 

“I don’t see you making an effort to get to know me, either,” Terra reprimanded. He fell silent, taking a bit of Vanitas’ hair in his hand. Vanitas tensed, expecting a tug, but Terra simply went back to brushing. Must have found a rat’s nest. 

“But,” Terra went on. “Ven told us that you wanted to learn how to glide, and I thought… well, you wouldn’t say something like that if you didn’t think he was your friend. Ven’ll try to make friends with anything, but when it can make friends back, that’s normally a good sign.”

“So that’s why you trust people so stupidly.”

This time, Terra did tug at his hair and Vanitas wisely fell silent. 

“If it was just Ven, that might be one thing, but Aqua likes you too, and she’s a lot more suspicious than Ven is. If he can trust you,  _ and _ she can trust you? I’ll give it a shot. Just, if you break their trust—“

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll break every bone in my body.” Vanitas leaned his elbow down onto his knee and his chin onto his hand. At least joking about it made it easier. “I get it.”

“Get back here, you’re too hard to reach like that.”

“ _ Ughhhhhh _ ,” Vanitas groaned, sitting back up. “Are you almost done?” 

“That depends. Sleepy yet?”

Hardly. Even if it felt… nice.

His silence was apparently enough of an answer. “Then nope, not done.”

Vanitas rolled his eyes and adjusted his legs, bringing his knees up so he could lean forward and not hear Terra complain. 

“I can’t imagine being with Master Xehanort for as long as you were,” Terra suddenly said again after a moment. “He was such an indescribable…  _ jackass _ .”

Vanitas snorted, glancing back to his companion. Terra looked thoughtful, staring at the back of his head while he brushed. “Yeah, you could say that,” he agreed. Xehanort had truly been a huge jackass. He didn’t know that there was a better way to put it. “You were with him longer than I was.”

“Not consciously. Only once he started taking over the worlds with the Heartless did I even know anything was going on. He really knows how to make people listen, make people follow him, doesn’t he?”

“What makes you say that?” Vanitas asked, honestly. “He had to create twelve other versions of himself just to have enough people to forge the X-blade. He couldn’t even get enough people to follow him to do that.”

“Maybe,” Terra half-agreed. There was a tick in his voice—Terra was definitely going somewhere with this. “But he couldn’t just inject himself in the ones who chose to be there. They had to be willing to throw their whole life away to follow him. I know I almost threw away everything because he said it would save the worlds. And I know I’m not the only one in this room who took that option.” The brush slowed, then stopped at the base of his neck. Terra leaned to the side to look him full in the face. 

Vanitas shuddered and looked away, out of the window. He didn’t like where he was going with this. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Okay,” Terra said simply. He sat back up and resumed brushing. He was probably well aware that that wasn’t really one of Vanitas' triggers, but Vanitas liked that he was respecting it all the same. Until, “I’m just saying. If the Terra who is me, and the Terra that was manipulated by Master Xehanort can be so different, then maybe this Vanitas, and the Vanitas who trained with Xehanort for, I assume, as long as Ven was with us, can be different as well. Your eyes aren’t gold anymore, after all.”

Vanitas almost opened his mouth to retort, but quickly stopped himself at that last line. They weren’t—what? 

“What?”

“They’re red, now,” Terra said simply, cocking a brow. “Hadn’t you noticed?”

Vanitas had always hated the way his eyes matched his Masters’, especially since he knew what that had always meant, that he was nothing more than a puppet filled with Xehanorts’ thoughts, influences, and desires. So no, he hadn’t noticed. He didn’t look at his reflection, ever. When Aqua finally found some of Ven’s old clothes for him to wear so he didn’t have to wear that awful bodysuit all the time, Vanitas hadn’t even looked to see if it fit him right. 

He whipped his head toward the window, hoping to get a look.  _ Red _ eyes, like when he’d been born? Like most of his Unversed? He didn’t know if he liked that they were red, but they weren’t  _ gold _ , and  _ that _ was something he definitely  _ did _ like. 

“Guess not,” Terra muttered to himself. He dug a hand into one of his pockets and pulled out the blocky Gummiphone that he owned. He unlocked it, then held it up to Vanitas’ face. Vanitas’ reflection frowned back at him. Forward facing camera. 

And sure enough, crimson eyes looked out from Vanitas’ pale skin. They were the same shade as a Red Hot Chili, a bright red that almost made his face glow. 

“...Oh.” He didn’t know what else he was supposed to say. It had been over two months, and he hadn’t noticed.

“Yeah,” Terra agreed. “Maybe the old Vanitas was a jackass too, but maybe this one’s different.”

“Don’t worry,” Vanitas said honestly, unable to stop looking. He thought they fit his face quite nicely, thank you. Gave off these edgy badass vibes. “I’m still a jackass.”

“You sound so proud. Can I have my phone back?”

Vanitas gave himself another long look in the camera. Though his eyes were a little too bright for his skin, he thought that he liked them. All of the rest of them tied with Sora and Ventus had blue eyes, so Vanitas kind of liked that he didn’t. It meant he was different than them. Undoubtedly better than them. 

Of course, anyone could see  _ that _ .

“Vanitas?”

Without a word, Vanitas passed the device back. It was admittedly weird seeing his own face, with harsh lines and such pale skin. It wasn’t bad-weird though, not like it would have been if gold eyes looked back. He’d get another real look when he went to shower tomorrow. In the actual mirror.

“You really never noticed,” Terra hummed. He put his phone away and resumed brushing. His eyelids were looking a little heavy, though. The brushing was putting him to sleep, as much as it was Vanitas. 

“I never looked,” Vanitas corrected, sort of a snap. 

“Hmm. Well, now you know. So maybe you are different after all.”

“Maybe…” But probably not that different. He fought back a sudden yawn before he could say anything else, covering his mouth with a hand. 

“See, there it is,” Terra commented gently. “Getting tired yet?”

“It’s like hell in the morning right now, what do  _ you _ think?” Vanitas snapped to cover up his embarrassment. He hadn’t been that tired before now, his nightmare keeping him wide awake. 

Well, not so much anymore. Now that he was a little more aware, he realized that he definitely felt calmer, felt better. Had the stupid hairbrush thing  _ worked _ ? 

Was he a child, or  _ what _ ? 

“Maybe another minute. Close your eyes and I can guarantee you’ll pass out in five minutes.”

“You don’t know me.” Still, Vanitas did as instructed. He closed his eyes and even leaned his head back and let Terra do whatever he wanted. The soft bristles brushed gently against his hair and skin in places. They sent shivers up and down his spine—good shivers, that were making him relax. Was this all it took for people to relax? This was… surprisingly nice, he hated to admit it. 

Soon, the brushing stopped, but Vanitas was much more at peace than he was expecting. A sudden Jellyshade above his head had appeared, momentarily startling Terra, but one good look at its creator was enough to put him at ease. 

Terra moved from behind him and made sure that when he settled back, he didn’t hit his head. The brushing worked like a charm—Vanitas was honestly maybe a minute or two from falling back asleep. Were people even allowed to be this at ease? 

Terra stole out of the room silently, waving at the Unversed who obediently dimmed their lights. “Good night, Vanitas,” he said as he closed the door behind him.

Vanitas was too busy halfway to dreamland to respond.

——-

Waking up to a relaxed mind and the sun shining in was infinitely better than haunting dreams and the moon shining down. There were a couple of Jellyshades floating above, noticing nothing and no one. Jellyshades were funny like that—though they were tied to his own existence, they rarely ever seemed to notice even him, let alone anyone else. 

Of course, mere seconds after waking up, Vanitas remembered what had happened last night and with whom he shared conversation. Most of it was fine, but the whole act in and of itself, practically  _ falling asleep _ on Terra? 

Well, the Yellow Mustards popping up in multitudes told him what he already knew. One squeaked and nudged at his back, so Vanitas grabbed his blankets and yanked them back up and over his head, throwing himself down to the pillow and hiding away in the darkness. Had he really done what he thought he remembered? Terra didn’t care for him, had threatened his life, and what—Vanitas honestly thought it was a smart thing to  _ goddamn _ fall asleep with him?! That was asking for trouble, one hundred percent. Vanitas was almost surprised that he hadn’t woken up with Ends of the Earth skewered through him. 

But Terra had been extremely…  _ civil _ , all night. And the hairbrush… the hairbrush  _ thing _ he’d done had helped. Somehow. He’d fallen asleep painlessly and slept well through the night. All of it was so weird, and he didn’t understand it. He  _ really _ didn’t. 

He really didn’t get any of this. He wasn’t stupid. He  _ knew _ he did shit to these three in the past. Shit that he could never make up for. How could he? He’d tried to kill them— _ don’t think about it _ —chased Ventus away with a plethora of half-truths— _ don’t think about it! _ —and had assisted in the monumental battle that had ripped their stupid friendship to pieces. What did one say to make up for any of it? They were here—offering him a home, food, and companionship unlike anything the Unversed provided, and all he did was mock and belittle them, and hurt them. He hurt Ventus last night, and they had just pretended like they had hurt him, instead. 

And then he… he did that sorry thing, like Chirithy said. The say you’re sorry, and mean it thing. He had meant it. He was sorry he hurt Ventus, and they had—forgiven him. Just like that?  _ Ventus _ had forgiven him. And now, they wouldn’t talk when he said he didn’t want to talk. That was something friends did, he supposed. 

...He was sorry that he had hurt them, so long ago. He had once told Aqua that he didn’t get manipulated, but he had only wanted an inexplicable pain to end. Xehanort had told him the only way to do it was to forge the X-blade, and Vanitas had believed him. Vanitas had gone along with it, because Xehanort had promised he would go away when it was over. The pain would end. 

Xehanort had manipulated him, and because of that, he hurt Ventus, Aqua, and Terra. And he  _ was _ sorry. 

The sorry thing had made it better last night. He had felt better in his heart, and they had felt better, too. Vanitas wasn’t sure that you could apologize for attempting to end someone’s life on a number of occasions, but it was as good of a start as any. Maybe it would start to make things better, too. 

...Maybe he would take Chirithy up on that offer to let him practice, after all.

* * *

As far as practice sessions went, it was the easiest that Vanitas had ever experienced. It was still difficult trying to find the right words, and Chirithy had tried a number of times to help him change his wordage, using more open statements, acknowledging that he’d played a hand and wasn’t just making excuses. He thought he had an excuse, and that excuse was that Xehanort was a shitrag and was better off burning, but apparently there was a difference between a reason and an excuse. But it was painless. Even when Chirithy ‘punished’ him, it was a light tap on the head that didn’t even kind of hurt. 

And now, he was ready.

...

...not. Not in the slightest. He knew what he wanted to say, but that and saying it were two different beasts. But, he had to get it out. The Vanitas of old wouldn’t hold back. This one hesitated. Why? Because he didn’t want to be ashamed?

It was a few weeks too late for that.

He tracked them down one morning, before breakfast but not by much. The three of them naturally gravitated toward one another, so when he found one, they were never very far from the other two. 

At least it made confessions easy. Easier. Whatever. 

“Morning Vanitas,” Ven said when Vanitas came up behind him and stopped next to him. At least when Vanitas had basically said only Aqua could call him Van, he listened. 

He didn’t respond, just reached a hand forward to clasp Ven’s arm. Ven silently noted that Vanitas didn’t randomly touch anyone, so he turned his whole attention on Vanitas. When Vanitas reached his other hand forward, to cling to Ven and attempt to ground himself, he stared. When Vanitas leaned down and pressed his forehead against Ven’s shoulder, making himself vulnerable and small, Ven asked what was wrong. 

“I have something to tell you guys. All of you.”

“...Okay. Is it important?” Ven asked softly. “Do you want to sit down?”

He shook his head solemnly, quietly. It was important, obviously, was probably the most important thing Vanitas had ever done, but that didn’t mean he had the words to get it out.

“Guys,” Ven said, no longer speaking to him. “I think something’s wrong with Vanitas.”

Vanitas didn’t see them, but he felt Aqua and Terra’s presences approaching. He fought off the desire to get away and made sure he was aware of them, clenching Ven’s arm just a little bit tighter. 

“Guess so,” Terra said quietly. 

“Van? What’s wrong?” Aqua asked, moving closer. She lifted a hand toward him. 

Vanitas felt her hand approach in the moment, knowing that his head wasn’t entirely in the right place; moving too fast and too hard, anxieties picking at his brain. He couldn’t do her touch. “Don’t touch me,” he said, just more than a plea. 

“Ahh—okay. Only Ven?”

It sounded childish, but he didn’t care. Ven needed to be his ground because he was about to do something he had never done before, something he was going to fuck up, inevitably. Vanitas was Ven, once upon a time, so Ven could be his ground. 

“Are you okay, Van? Are you breathing?”

Mostly. He wasn’t sure how much oxygen he was pulling in, but yeah he was breathing. 

“What’s wrong? What happened? Ven?”

“I don’t know! He came in like this!”

Vanitas took a deep breath. Clenched Ven for just a second longer, then backed off. “I need to say something,” he said very deliberately. He avoided Terra and Aqua’s eyes and instead stared at the ground. He felt a Scrapper appear behind Ven and wished, god,  _ wished _ he could pull himself together. This wasn’t supposed to be so hard! 

“...Okay. We’re listening.”

Ventus reached his hand forward and squeezed Vanitas’ shoulder. He had seen him coming, since he was mostly facing him, and didn’t mind the touch.

“Van?” Aqua asked very softly, wanting to reach forward and touch him but putting in the effort to respect his wish. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Vanitas choked out, taking another breath. “I just wanted to… apologize.”

“...For what?”

For what? For  _ what _ ? Try, everything? How was Vanitas even supposed to move forward from  _ that _ ?

_ For what _ . 

He grunted hard and lifted a shaking hand, passing it through his hair. Chirithy had said he had to admit it. No excuses, just that he was sorry and doing better. And he  _ was  _ doing better, he was trying to do better. He wanted… he wanted to be their friend. He wanted that chance. 

“Everything, I guess,” Vanitas said because even though Chirithy had said to specify, he didn’t entirely know what to say. “I hurt you, and… and let Xehanort control me. I wanted things… different than they were,” because that was something that they didn’t have to know about, about the pain and hurt that he had lived through in just  _ existing _ , let alone what Xehanort did to him, “and he gave me an option and I didn’t even think about  _ why _ that would fix it. He said it would and so… so I hurt you.” 

There was so much. So much more than that. But that was the basis of it. 

The trio were silent. Probably stunned. Ventus’ hand had fallen from his shoulder and Vanitas was almost relieved. The Scrapper was pushing close to him, clearly wanting to comfort him but knowing that the Wayfinders were far too close for that. 

“So I’m sorry,” he bit out the words pathetically. “I am. I’m sorry for what happened to you, and I’m sorry that it was my fault.”

His last words hung thick and heavy in the air. The Scrapper finally moved near enough to Vanitas to touch, and he didn’t even think to mention how much its presence sucked his nerves from him. The Floods hadn’t done the same for his loneliness, but it was whatever. 

Still, the trio said nothing. Just stared. Vanitas still didn’t look at them, so he didn’t know what they were thinking or if they were sharing conversation at all. His face was heating up, though. They probably wouldn’t care. Why would they? They had hundreds of friends, what was one more? What was— 

“I forgive you.”

Vanitas whipped his head up to the speaker so fast he should have put a crick in his neck. And who else could it be, but Ventus. 

Ventus smiled at him, once again wearing the brightest smile he’d ever seen on one person. He had replaced his hand on his shoulder but was moving it around to his other shoulder, as if to hold them together. He looked very genuinely happy, eyes crinkling at the corner. 

He just…  _ what _ ? Just like that?

“It wasn’t your fault,” Ven went on, squeezing him. “Not entirely. Xehanort was in charge, and he manipulated you, and…” Ven then sighed, looked to the ground, then pressed his head close to Vanitas’. “Thanks for apologizing anyway. But it’s okay, now.”

“It’s not okay.”

“Maybe not. But we’re working on it, and that’s close, I think.” Ven smiled again, then took a step back and looked to the older wielders. Vanitas honestly didn’t doubt that, if Ven was so willing to forgive him, Aqua would forgive him. She had been on his side, or approaching it anyway, before any of them. 

But the three of them were in this together. If Terra wouldn’t forgive him, if he refused, then he also didn’t doubt that Ven and Aqua would retract theirs. 

“Of  _ course _ we do,” Aqua agreed, reaching a hand forward to brush his cheek but not getting any closer than that, for which he definitely was relieved. His heart was already pounding. “Van, you’re our friend. You made mistakes, but you’re trying to fix them. I don’t think any of us can say any differently.”

_ You’re our friend _ , she said. Was he? He knew she had been heading for that, knew she had been vying for friendship, but that she  _ already thought _ he was her friend? She was an idio—

No. She wasn’t. She was… he didn’t know what she was, but she sure was that. 

He didn’t say that this was a little different, even if he wanted to. He bit that back. If she wanted to be his friend, and if he kind of actually did want to be her friend, why sour it?

Terra eyed him up and down very critically. His eyes caught on the way that Ven still touched his arm only very lightly, on the way the Scrapper watched Vanitas without acting even annoyed at Ventus and Aqua. His nostrils flared like a bull, like he still didn’t know how to feel about Vanitas, which was all fine and dandy, because Vanitas didn’t entirely know what to feel about him.

He glanced to his two friends, on both of Vanitas’ sides. And apparently within moments, he had an answer. “...Yeah. You’re… forgiven. We were both,  _ all _ , manipulated or hurt by Xehanort, so we can’t really say we weren’t doing the same. It’s not okay, but we forgive you.”

Vanitas’ mouth didn’t drop open but only because he fought it every second. His eyes were wide, though, and at Terra’s last certain words, he kind of flinched back. His eyes were stinging, and when he finally had to look away, they started leaking out of nowhere. 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” he said quietly, because Xehanort had taught him a long time ago that crying was for babies, was pathetic and only made things worse, and he didn’t even know where that came from. “Sorry, I—“

“Vani,” Aqua said very softly, voice so damn  _ warm _ . “It’s okay if you need to cry. Sometimes it even helps. No one will think any differently of you.”

“I don’t need to—I don’t know where it came from!” Vanitas snapped, biting back anything else. Stupid stinging, crying eyes. Even if Aqua said it was okay, that didn’t mean he had to  _ like it _ . “Just… shut up for a second.”

“Okay.”

Vanitas took a few deep breaths, forced back his pathetic tears. Glanced up at the Wayfinders, who had all fallen silent, for some reason, at his request. He sniffed once, hard, and Aqua moved forward as if to comfort him, but the Scrapper beat her to the punch. He collected himself, squeezed his eyes shut and wiped at his face. “...Sorry.”

Aqua laughed very quietly. She finally reached her hand forward and nestled it gently in his hair. “Don’t apologize for  _ that _ . Sometimes, crying helps. It does. Even if you don’t want to do it.”

“Most of the time,” Ven agreed. “When you don’t wanna do it.”

“Besides,” Aqua continued. “I think we’re sorry, too. You got put in a bad place and none of us knew, but we didn’t try to help you. We didn’t try to learn, and as much as you did try to hurt us, we tried to hurt you back.”

At her words, Vanitas’ mouth went dry. A Mandrake appeared at his feet, because really, that was the  _ last _ thing he expected out of her.  _ They _ were sorry?

Some part at the back of him thought that they should be sorry, and not even them but  _ Ven specifically _ , but he quickly chased that part down because, well, that wasn’t fair. 

“...It’s okay,” he said quietly, awkwardly. If he wasn’t at fault for his, then he figured maybe they weren’t at fault for theirs. 

Maybe Xehanort was at fault for all of it. 

Aqua just smiled again, roughing up his hair just little enough that it didn’t feel like someone grabbing him. 

“I think maybe,” Terra said behind Aqua, very slowly like he wasn’t sure how whatever his idea was would be received. “Maybe, we should start over.”

“Start over?” Ven asked. Vanitas asked the same question with his eyes. “What do you mean, start over?”

“I mean, it won’t erase everything that we’ve done, but maybe we can all put the past way, way behind us, and give each other a second chance.” To demonstrate, he took a step forward so that he was nearly in Vanitas’ private personal bubble. He stuck out his right hand so quickly that Vanitas flinched hard and looked up to him. 

Hi,” Terra said. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Terra, and these two idiots attached to you are Aqua, and Ven.”

“Hey…!”

Vanitas eyed him hard. A second chance. Ven had been given plenty of second chances—well, enough that it got him to a cushy life in an actual castle, surrounded by people who loved and cared for him. He had been given enough second chances that he got to be a Guardian of Light, complete with every perk it came with, like people trusting you for no reason. 

Vanitas had never been given a second chance, not really. The only time he had, was to revive him and bring him back into the Real Organization, and he’d never been given an option one way or the other. He had wanted to stay safe inside Ven’s heart, but Xehanort had even taken that away from him. 

He would not ruin this second chance. 

Not if he had anything to say or do about it. 

“...Hi,” he said, voice so soft it almost wasn’t there. It was weak with past tears, but those were gone now. He did not hesitate any longer. “My name’s Vanitas. But, I guess you can call me Van.” If he was going to be different, if he was going to grow, and if Aqua liked thinking that Vanitas and Van were two different people because Van was growing, changing, and doing better, then, well… he kind of liked that thought, too. 

He quickly, though, looked to Aqua, because she had already proved to disregard the one nickname for another. “But Vani is  _ off _ the table.”

Aqua just smiled and laughed, something like pride shining in her bright blue eyes. “Okay, Van,” she said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Ven nodded hard but didn’t speak up. Instead he dropped his hand to Vanitas’, and tugged on him. “Now come  _ on _ . Breakfast is almost done, right Aqua? Let’s eat, I’m  _ starving _ .”

Terra laughed and reached up to cuff Ven upside the head affectionately, which made Ven whine. He dropped Vanitas’ hand and batted at Terra before moving to take a seat at the table. 

Vanitas, sort of slowly, moved with him. He had eaten at this table, now many times before. This would be the first time that he would really be eating with his friends. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scrapper - Nervous  
> Yellow Mustard - Embarrassed  
> Buckle Bruiser - Frustration  
> Blue Sea Salt - Satisfied, pleased  
> Mandrake - Surprise  
> Sonic Blaster - Fear (emotion not necessarily expressed, but not not expressed)  
> Prize Pod - Curious  
> Hareraiser - Pain

Things were… different now. Very different. Different in ways that he didn’t entirely understand. 

When Terra had said that they were going to start over, he really had meant it. He was putting an increased effort into treating Vanitas not only as a housemate, as a human, but as a friend. He would attempt to start up conversations with him—nothing much, just little “how did you sleep”s and “what do you think of this”es. 

It was all… weird. But, a good weird. 

At least when he accidentally manifested an Unversed, they weren’t sneering. Floods even seemed to get a decent amount of attention. Chirithy was even making attempts to befriend them. 

It made keeping to himself difficult, but they all seemed to know that sometimes enough was enough—treating it like a trigger as much as they did when he said he didn’t want to talk.

They soon fell into a schedule of sorts—breakfast followed by weightlifting or swimming, quickly followed by keyblade practice, lunch, studying in the library (Vanitas’ least favorite part). The Wayfinders would go off and do their own thing while Vanitas went to recuperate, then Aqua and Terra went to make supper, then after Ventus and Vanitas would do dishes, then they more often than not settled by the fire in the living room to chat, while Vanitas would half-doze and very occasionally pitch in his two cents. It was easy to keep to, and offered Vanitas plenty of control over his life to stave off his anxiety. 

One morning, a few weeks after becoming something of a Wayfinder himself, a terrible storm broke over the castle and the village below again. Vanitas wondered if it was normal to have these sorts of storms, since it was the second he’d seen, but the rest didn’t seem too worried. They just battened down the hatches, and Aqua set up a barrier around the castle that Vanitas hadn’t seen the first time. It chased the water away from them, as well as away from the village he assumed. 

“Here,” Terra said, stopping beside Vanitas where he stared out the window, watching the water cascading down the glass. Vanitas looked up his way, spying the ceramic mug with steam out the top. Terra had a second in his hand and was presenting the one to him. 

“What is it.”

“Hot chocolate. Ever had it?”

“Probably not. It smells weird.”

“I hope that’s a good weird. Here, take it.” Terra pressed it down into Vanitas’ hands. The ceramic was warm, and if not for his gloves it would have burned. 

“...Thanks, I guess.”

Terra dropped onto the opposite side of the windowsill from Vanitas, lifting one knee to balance his elbow on it. He fell into silence, just watching the rain fall. Vanitas tossed his drink around and watched the murky brown liquid beat against the lip of the mug. He lifted it to his nose and took a deep breath. It smelled sweet. He wasn’t a big fan of sweet. 

“Careful,” Terra warned. “It’s hot.”

“Yeah, figured that out on my own,” Vanitas said over the lip. He lowered it to his lips and tilted his head back just a little to get the taste on his tongue. 

Okay ow, yeah. That definitely was hot. He didn’t give Terra the satisfaction of being right (then had to remind himself that it probably wasn’t  _ that _ much of a satisfaction anymore) by keeping his wince to himself. The drink was… definitely sweet, and very rich. But even just the little taste he had was going from his tongue to the back of his throat, and was warming him right from his stomach. 

This was  _ good _ . 

Terra chuckled to himself when Vanitas tipped his head back and drained as much as he could in one go. It still burned, but it was a kind of burn that he actually enjoyed, that stung with cinnamon but soothed with the richness of cocoa. 

“You should savor it,” Terra scolded. “Master always said the best way to eat good food was to actually let it sit and enjoy it.”

“It’s a drink.”

Terra scoffed. “Same difference.”

“...Whatever.”

Terra offered a small smile before he fell into silence again. He swung the leg on the outside of the windowsill again, still watching as the water fell. “You should come join us.”

“And what?”

The older wielder shrugged, leaning his head back against the sill. “We’re playing games by the fire. We do when it storms like this. It’s distracting for Aqua. Bet you’ve never played command board before.”

“No.” He’d never had anyone to play with, so. “...Someone put you up to this?” Vanitas glanced his way, then scowled and tried pathetically to knock back his suspicion. Things were different, now. 

“No, actually. I just thought you might like to play, instead of spending time alone again. The storm can be fun to watch, but it can get lonely.”

Considering all the Floods Vanitas had spent time with last time, that was an understatement. Maybe spending time with them would be nice, as long as he could dip out if he needed. “Sure, I guess.”

Terra shot him a smile—somewhat nervous, but mostly genuine. Vanitas didn’t smile back, but he also didn’t frown or scowl, which was kind of the same thing. “Cool. Aqua’s getting everything set up in the sitting room. Come on.” He stood, running a hand through his hair, then dropped his hand and held it to Vanitas. It was the same hand they shook with; the other filled with the white mug still half full.

Vanitas hesitated just for a second, waiting for a shoe to drop even though the first hadn’t yet. He breathed back in, then took the offered hand. If he waited for the shoe to drop, he thought he’d be waiting for a while. Things were different, he just had to remember. 

Terra yanked him up a little quickly but eased him back down gently. Vanitas shoved him off right after, then followed him into the sitting room. 

Ven grinned and waved him over, the spot next to him open. Vanitas wondered how deliberate that was when Terra dropped into the seat maybe just a little too close to Aqua. 

“Ever played, Van?”

“Nope.”

The rules made absolutely no sense on tabletop. He didn’t get how to get GP, and he didn’t really get what the point was in the first place. Ven kept getting those question mark cards, Joker’s Fortune, and it was driving Vanitas fucking  _ nuts _ . He threw his own character twice, and Ven’s once. Chirithy happily retrieved it, scolding Vanitas, and stood back on Ven’s shoulders to watch the shenanigans. 

Vanitas lost something awful. Ventus won by a long shot—apparently that was nothing abnormal. They all said “good game” and shook hands for reasons Vanitas didn’t understand, but all three extended hands to him without hesitation and he shook back, and it made him feel like part of this and he liked that.

Aqua stood and stretched, smiled at them, and excused herself. She ruffled Vanitas’ hair very gently, so he only batted her hand away and glared. She wished them good night and ducked away. 

“It’s pretty early, isn’t it?” Vanitas asked, leaning over toward Ven. Ven laughed and shrugged, glancing toward the window. The castle shook with a soft clap of thunder. 

“It makes her nervous,” Terra said. “All this noise and rain. Sleeping through it helps.” He didn’t look entirely certain, but Vanitas supposed that made sense. 

The castle shook with another clap of thunder, this one much louder. Vanitas winced—his desert home had never had storms like these. And the last one he’d been in here hadn’t had the noises, just lots of rain. “Is this, like… normal?”

“The storm?”

Vanitas nodded. A Scrapper appeared on the seat beside him, and soon after a Yellow Mustard dropped into his lap. 

Terra looked back out the window for a long minute. A flash of lightning lit up the sill. Ven jumped. “...I mean, it’s stronger than usual. The last time that this happened was, what—a month before our Mark of Mastery exam? Three weeks? It wasn’t so strong, though.”

“But are they common?” His stomach knotted up, for reasons he couldn't explain. 

“...Not really. Not up here. Even that one was… abnormal.”

Ven made a little noise at the back of his throat, leaning back into the couch. Chirithy patted his head, then slid down the cushion to settle between them. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Terra said, looking long out the window, as if searching for the answer to a question he refused to ask. “I’m gonna go check on Aqua.”

“...Bye,” Ven said softly. He was left alone with Chirithy and Vanitas. 

After a few seconds, Ven leaned toward Vanitas and mumbled, “the night that Destiny Islands fell to darkness, there was a huge storm.”

Vanitas had to physically fight back the sick in his stomach as echoes of Sora’s fear settled there, and for once he had to remind himself that the darkness was okay. The lingering memory of Sora's feelings and emotions was too strong for him to just ignore.

Sora had been very, very scared that day. 

“Yeah, I remember.”

Ven swallowed a loud gulp and pulled Chirithy into his lap. The Yellow Mustard snuggled into Vanitas’ lap, and he was getting better so he didn’t shove it away yet.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Ven mumbled, more to himself than anyone else. He looked over at Vanitas, and stretched his crossed knee over to poke him. “Wanna do something?”

“Nah,” Vanitas said without explanation. He did like spending time with the Wayfinders, actually. They were entertaining, and not as draining as they used to be. But being trapped someplace all day with the rain was bugging the  _ hell _ out of his head. There was a reason he had been alone on the windowsill before. 

It didn’t seem to bother Ven, who just shrugged. The light half stood then and stretched, eyeing the board game before them until he definitely decided to put it away in the morning. “Okay. Then I’m gonna go read if you need me.”

The last time Vanitas had found Ven reading, it had been early as hell while Ven avoided sleeping. He put on his best worried face, saying, “...you are going to be sleeping, though.” He meant to frame it as a question, but it came out as a command. Oh well; since Ven was him way back when, he supposed he knew what was good for Ven.

“Huh? Oh—“ Ven suddenly remembered their late night conversation. He waved his hand and offered a huge, toothy grin. “Yeah. I know. With Terra feeling ready to retake his Mark of Mastery soon, I realize how far behind I was, aha! So I’ve gotta, you know, study a little bit. Hey, you know, maybe you should join me sometime. You’re pretty handy with your blade; I bet you’d be a  _ great _ Master!”

Vanitas laughed until he realized Ven was being serious. “Yeah, I, uh…” Vanitas frowned hard and shook his head. “I doubt if the old jackass will let someone as dark as me be a Master. I don’t think that’s what I wanna do, anyway.” Vanitas honestly had no real plans for his future anyway; he had always thought he had no future. 

A thought for a later day. 

“His name is Master Yen Sid.”

“I know what I said.”

Ven rolled his eyes, although there was something of a mischievous smile on his face. “Maybe if you give it some time. Night, Van.”

“Night, Ven.”

* * *

The rain continued late into the next morning and day. The wind picked up but thunder and lightning died down. An Archraven and Axe Flapper somehow found their ways outside and attempted to fly in the blustery wind, ultimately plummeting to their unfortunate and untimely near deaths if Vanitas and Ven hadn’t been watching their misfortune, and so he was able to reabsorb them in time.

Vanitas hadn’t realized how boring this damn castle was until he was  _ stuck _ here. He lifted weights and swam, and all four of them sparred, but they could only do that for so long before it got impossibly  _ boring _ .

And once that stupid fire book had been read, that was pretty much all he wanted out of the library. He’d made it about two pages into the Dandelions book before it got too confusing to follow. 

“Maybe you should go study with Ven,” Aqua said from her place at the stove, where she was making some kind of frosting to go with the cake baking in the oven. There were three different other baked goods around the kitchen—clear signs she, too, was bored out of her mind. “MIght make it make more sense if you’re confused.”

“Meh.”

“Well, don’t just sit there and  _ whine  _ then, if you refuse to do anything about it.” Aqua tossed him affectionate eyes, though. He didn’t offer any more than a bored look back. “What’s Terra doing?”

“Lifting again, I think. I’m  _ sick _ of training for the day. An’ I already cleaned the stupid bathrooms and the sitting room.” 

Aqua laughed under her breath, humming, “Vani-ella Vani-ella—“ very very softly. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing, nothing. What about this room?”

“Waiting ‘til you’re done.  _ Nnnnnnn _ .” Vanitas thunked his head on the table and gave in to the need. A Buckle Bruiser appeared behind him and looked around as if waiting for command. It made a little noise, but Vanitas ignored it. 

“Uhhh… Vanitas?”

He grunted. “It won’t do anything.” 

Aqua sighed, eyeing the huge Unversed, then shook her head and turned back to the stove. “Well maybe later you and I can clean the pool. It’ll keep us both entertained. We’ll have s’mores sometime, too.”

Vanitas lifted his head to look at her, glaring just a little. What the fuck was a  _ s’mores _ ? It sounded… bizarre. “We’ll have  _ what _ ?”

“I forget how secretly sheltered you were. You’ll see later. I promise you’ll like them. C’mere and taste this for me, see if it’s missing anything.”

Vanitas slowly stood and stretched stiff muscles, doing as asked. The Unversed followed at an even slower pace, uncertain but apparently determined to try whatever it was that Vanitas did.

* * *

The storm died in the night, and Vanitas was able to nudge his window open just a fraction to let more cool rain-damp air in. The Blue Sea Salt seemed happy to get a little extra cold companionship, dancing about in the air before it settled on its place on the shelf and snowed for Vanitas. 

Come morning, though, he regretted that. The rain returned with a vengeance, this time wind, thunder, lightning, and even hail lighting up the sky. Vanitas begrudgingly stripped the wet sheets off of his bed and carried them down to the laundry room. It had been long enough since he’d last done laundry, he supposed. 

He dropped everything off in the laundry room and went to fetch everyone else’s. It was easier doing it all at once, and it wasted less water and time. And it kept him busy, which was the best part of it all. 

He stopped into the bathroom on the way. Cleaned up a little, took another long look in the mirror. His eyes were still red. A little smile drifted over his face, and then another Blue Sea Salt found its way out and hovered around his head. He shoved it out of his way, but didn’t disintegrate it. 

He liked having red eyes. 

Aqua was already awake, but she was always up early. She thanked him when he came by, and said he didn’t have to do that but they really appreciated that he did. She was humming that tune from yesterday under her breath. Vanitas didn’t know if that was a joke or not. 

Terra was stirring, and just waved him in. The Blue Sea Salt followed Vanitas in and promptly dropped the temperature of the room an unnecessary amount of degrees, which had Vanitas smirking when they left as Terra snapped at him to get out and take his damn pot with him. 

Ventus was still passed out with a book over his face. When he got going, Ventus could sleep like the dead. Vanitas kicked all of the laundry not in Ventus’ hamper into a pile for him to take care of (he had been very adamant that he was cleaning no one’s room but his own), then collected what little had successfully made it into the bin and headed out. 

Honestly, Vanitas expected to be more like Ven. Able to pass out and sleep for days if necessary. He supposed that his time in the Graveyard had set habits firmly in place. He hoped he could break them at some point but, well… not yet. Maybe later he’d be able to sleep to and past noon.

* * *

Once they were awake, Ven and Terra went to worriedly batten down the hatches over Master Eraqus’ memorial, bringing with them a tarp and their keyblades to seal it with magic. Aqua made breakfast and as always, Vanitas cleaned up, so they made that their chore and took to it with heart. Vanitas was willing to bet they’d be at it all morning. He hoped they finished up before he finished laundry; it’d be easier to do it all at once. 

In the meantime, he went to lift weights again. He tried to keep up with it, at least bench pressing his preferred weight to keep himself active even on days he really didn’t want to. Aqua followed him down, but stepped out of the other restroom fully in her swimming suit, a modest one piece that nearly matched her hair, with a pink ribbon wrapped around one strap midshoulder. She told him the obvious, and dipped past him toward the pool. 

She liked swimming, he didn’t know how to. They had their preferences. It just meant that if she wasn’t following him into the weight room, he couldn’t do anything big. Fine by him. He grabbed a jump rope and a couple five pound handbells, set his water to the side, and started warming up. 

The weather awoke even the deeper parts of the castle. There was a small window to his back to let in cool air, so he could see the way the water rushed past like a faucet, but the room shook with each clap of thunder. Terra had said it didn’t normally get this bad, so part of him wondered if this castle was prepared to withstand bad storms like these. He wondered if Aqua’s barrier was still up. How long it would last. It was a little spooky to think about.

The artificial lights above him flickered on and off for a second, but they’d been doing that all day. 

His heart was beating a bit faster, and he felt warm, so he decided he was done. He stretched his arms behind his back, before going to the bench to add his desired weight. Seventy pounds was a little light for him, but with no one to spot him he didn’t want to push it. Aqua had once caught him doing more than she thought he should be (she was right) on his own, and had practically ripped him a new one.

He considered calling on a Wild Bruiser, but decided to just leave it. He could live without terribly sore muscles for the day. 

He worked his muscles sore on different equipment as the sky blackened and the storm raged outside. He was halfway through his workout on the leg press when everything switched out and the room went black. 

A Mandrake popped up beside him and hopped up onto the leg press with him. He was in resting position looking into the darkness with eyes that could sort of see. The storm blocked out the sun, so the light from the window did next to nothing for him. 

Was that supposed to happen? Besides the castle, he’d never been anywhere that ran on power for any large length of time. He’d stepped into the ship in Deep Space, but even that had just been for a breather and to wreak a little havoc, and spent a little time in Monstropolis, but that was all, and none of them had been hit by a storm. The last storm, this hadn’t happened, and it hadn’t happened outside of one, either. 

He pulled his legs off of the press and swung them around to sit up. The room was pitch black, and his eyes were only a little better in darkness so even they weren’t helping him much. He could see the shapes and impressions of different equipment, but that was really all. And he didn’t fancy tripping over anything and taking himself out. 

A Sonic Blaster appeared at his side and clicked at him. It switched on its light and illuminated around the room, up towards the ceiling, and finally toward the door. 

There didn’t look to be anything wrong with the lights, they just weren’t on. The crack beneath the door showed no light, so Vanitas could only assume that the lights were out in the hallway, which meant either this section of the castle was down, or the whole castle was. 

That couldn’t be good. 

He stood and collected his water bottle and the little plant Unversed, headed toward the door. Once he was out in the hallway, another Sonic Blaster appeared and lit up the floor. The other one looked to the ceiling again. Once again, nothing wrong with the lights. They just weren’t on. 

“Wonder what this is all about?”

The Mandrake clicked and crooned at him; it had no idea either. It put its leaves around his head and swung up to stand on his shoulders and watch the world go by; Vanitas begrudgingly allowed it. 

They walked along for a few more seconds as they neared the door to the pool. Vanitas had expected to hear more splashes; it wasn’t exactly soundproof, and he didn’t think Aqua would need light to swim. Though there were fewer windows in this room than there were in the weight room… maybe poking his head in wouldn’t be the worst. 

A Prize Pod popped up beside the Mandrake on his head and floated over to the door, tapping on it before phasing through. Vanitas gripped the handle and followed at a much more physical pace. 

There was still no sound, and it was pitch black. Vanitas’ vision didn't even let him see his hand in front of his face. A Sonic Blaster shone its light down on him, which at least made him no longer as blind, although he couldn’t see much further into the dark.

“...Aqua? Are you still in here?”

There was a gasp, and Vanitas knew the answer to the question. A brief flash of light, but Vanitas couldn’t tell what it was, and then someone stole Vanitas’ age old idea and froze the pool over with a silent Blizzard spell. 

Vanitas’ stomach fell. Something felt very,  _ very _ wrong. A Scrapper made itself known, clicking its nonexistent tongue. 

Then, Aqua was in the Sonic Blaster’s light very suddenly, looking furious. Stormfall was out and very quickly coming for Vanitas’ head. 

With a yelp, Vanitas fell away just in time for Stormfall to get buried in the brick wall. The other Sonic Blaster flashed back on its light and hovered up to watch where Aqua went. 

“Aqua? What’s going on?” Vanitas had hardly done anything wrong in the past couple of weeks, at least not wrong enough for  _ this _ ! Why was she attacking him?!

“You, creatures of the dark!” Aqua spat, her blade out and pointed toward Vanitas. “You cannot steal my heart. I’ll show you the Light!” With that, she moved again, so quickly that the Sonic Blaster lost track of her. 

Vanitas pulled out Void Gear just in time to catch Stormfall. The hit was hard enough that Vanitas’ arm shook, and after a second Aqua tossed it to the side. 

But the moment there, Vanitas blocking while Aqua bored all her weight into him, gave Vanitas just enough time to look up into her eyes and realize she looked very,  _ very _ different. 

There was some kind of terror behind her eyes, some kind of helplessness and fear that Vanitas had never seen before. And it hit him like a ton of bricks when he realized she probably looked like he did, that night in the sitting room when he very suddenly wasn’t there anymore. 

“ _ Tell us, so we don’t do it again. Like, we can’t turn the lights off on Aqua, and don’t ever use a sleeping spell on me.” _

She was having a flashback. Vanitas wasn’t sure how he fit into it, but she was seeing him probably the same way he had seen all three of them. But where he had cowered and hid away because he knew what happened when Xehanort got mad, Aqua fought tooth and nail because she knew what happened when you stopped fighting in the Realm of Darkness. 

Aqua pulled Stormfall away, just long enough to change her angle and swing from beneath, throwing Void Gear up and out of the way. Vanitas kept his grip on it, but Aqua’s blade came for his stomach in the next second. Vanitas quickly backed and flipped out of the way, putting distance between them. 

She did not lessen up. 

Vanitas quickly squeezed out more Sonic Blasters in the hopes of lighting up the room. It would either wake Aqua up, or it would give Vanitas the light to dodge and attack as necessary. It felt wrong, somehow, as he calculated to himself the best way to overpower her, but she wasn’t thinking of him as a friend just then, so he couldn’t afford to think of her as one. Her flashback was making her powerful and desperate, which was putting a lot of strength behind each adrenaline-fueled blow. 

If he wasn’t careful, she would kill him. She hadn't even hesitated on that first swing. 

“Aqua! Wake up!”

“I’ll show you the  _ light _ ! Ice Barrage!”

Huge ice crystals formed beneath Vanitas’ feet and all around the room. Before he had the sense to react to them, Vanitas was launched into the air. He didn’t have the second to be relieved that this room, like most community rooms in the castle, had a high ceiling. Aqua cast Firaga Burst in the next second.

Vanitas reached out and hooked a hand on the crystals, slicing his hand open on a jagged downward piece in the process. He ignored that in favor of swinging around behind the crystal as a ball of fire burned in the air and launched tendrils of flame around. The ice crystals melted, but he didn’t roast alive. 

_ Fuck _ , he hadn’t even had the chance to attack between all of hers, and he was fucking exhausted. But he didn’t know how to wake her up! They hadn’t been able to wake him up until he had been able to calm, but Aqua was proving that she was getting more hostile, not less. What the hell was he supposed to do?! 

Aqua brandished Stormfall again. He had rounded a corner of the pool by then, approaching his chittering Unversed and the door, which seemed even more important. She didn’t seem to care about that. She took off barefoot across the ice covered pool to approach him, swinging once again. He dodged out of the way, hoping to get to the door and trap her in until Terra or Ven were able to come in, or the lights flashed back on, or the flashback passed. He didn’t know what else to do. 

She swung once, twice, three times. He backed away each time, ducking his head to the side or thrusting backwards with quick steps. He didn’t even want to turn around to run, because she would catch up with him in her adrenaline or throw magic, and he wouldn’t see and would probably get struck down. 

This was getting worse and worse by the second, and the storm outside was probably silencing the noise from their battle, so Terra and Ven probably wouldn’t be coming to try to calm her down. He was trapped in with her, and her mind was very far from her body right then. 

“ _ Blizzaga! _ ” Aqua cast right at him. He dodged to the side, but the ice froze some of the water on the tiles, and in the next second Vanitas stepped back onto it, and his heel was suddenly level with his knee and he was falling. 

He hit the tile hard, trying to catch himself but the tile was murder on his arms. His head smashed into the floor so hard it bounced, and his world went white. 

_ “You’re weak, boy. Weak and pathetic. You’re lucky I haven’t disposed of you for something else.” _

His head was screaming with noise, and it took him a moment to realize that for once it wasn’t pain or memories causing it. A Hareraiser was clinging to his arm, the rest of the Unversed attempting to wake him with their voices. He blinked hard, trying to force stability to shaky vision. It couldn’t happen soon enough.

Aqua apparently was taking advantage of her opponent’s weakness, dashing forward to attack. Vanitas very forcefully remembered what was going on and why laying down was probably the worst possible thing he could be doing. He rolled back over his head to put a little distance between them then swung around to get his feet beneath him. He stumbled back for a second, feeling his Scrapper’s claws close around his arm to hold him steady. He was dizzy as fuck, vision swimming. He must have hit the ground a lot harder than he thought. 

That couldn’t be good. 

The door wasn’t far from his back, and when he turned his head just a fraction he could clearly see it. He was a few seconds from getting away from this woman bent on his destruction, if he could just get around her, and maybe focus long enough to walk straight. Okay, that  _ definitely  _ couldn’t be good. 

“Get over here and meet your maker,” Aqua said lowly, avoiding the ice patch with quick feet. She brought back Stormfall and brought it down toward him. A Sonic Blaster got in the way and was instantly destroyed, but it gave Vanitas enough time to escape her. 

He didn’t know if his maker counted as Ventus or Xehanort, or some other being, but in two of those cases, no thank you, and the end result of the last would still be his death. 

“Aqua, wake up!”

Aqua ignored him and went around, cutting off his path from the door like she knew exactly what he was thinking. She was trying to corner him and cut off all paths of thinking. If his head wasn't spinning so much, he might be able to think of a quick way out, but he had nothing but his companions. 

Stormfall went rushing for Vanitas, so Vanitas called on Void Gear again. He hadn’t even realized it had dissipated when he whited out until he squeezed his fist and felt it wasn’t there.

The teeth of Stormfall and Void Gear clashed in sparks, digging into one another. Aqua pressed down on Vanitas, determined to cut through him, and Vanitas saw as much hatred as he felt from her. If he didn’t think fast, or if something didn’t change, she really would take his life and she’d be happy to do it. 

Vanitas’ knee suddenly dove from its wobbly stance, but he used Aqua’s surprise to his advantage and rolled beneath her arm and out of the way. The Mandrake and Hareraiser followed him, hissing and growling all the way. 

“ _ Get back here, coward _ !”

Vanitas turned in his step to catch Stormfall on Void Gear again. The Mandrake rushed past him, while the Hareraiser grabbed his knee with its ear and stood its ground. 

Behind them, the door opened. A Sonic Blaster turned its light to the door directly. Then, two gasps sounded, and there was the sound of keyblades being unsheathed. 

Terra’s voice came through first, and with it Vanitas’ stomach went to his toes. “ _ What did you do?! _ ” 

“Nothing!!” Vanitas insisted. Here he had been hoping for help, and now he would be attacked on three sides? 

And so soon after making friends? It would figure.

“Van, what happened?” At least Ven didn’t sound like he thought Vanitas was  _ totally _ at fault. 

“I don’t know! The lights switched off and I came in and she started attacking me!”

“She—Terra, look!  _ Faith _ !” Ven raised his blade to the air and lit up the room with light magic. “I think she’s having a flashback!”

Now able to properly see, if it wasn't a little blurry, Vanitas took several steps backwards and lined himself up near Terra and Ven. Ven stepped forward, shooting nervous looks between Aqua and Vanitas, before finally making a choice and turning his blade on Aqua. 

“Friends of yours?” Aqua asked with a laugh. “They’ll only be struck down too!”

“Aqua, wake up! It’s Terra, and Ven, and Van! We’re your friends!”

“ _ My friends aren’t stuck here! They’re safe in the light! RAGING STORM! _ ” Aqua lifted her blade to the sky, fire rippling first down its teeth, then around and down her in three columns. She rushed. 

Ven and Vanitas both put up their blades, prepared to take the ultimate tier attack. Ven took a step forward, his blade brimming with green Cure magic—they didn’t stand a chance of blocking all of it. 

Aqua cut through them like butter, the fire and her blade sending them in different directions. Ven hit the wall hard and Van smacked into Terra. Terra’s arms closed around him, and for once getting away from touching hands wasn’t the priority.

Aqua ignored Ven and instead followed Vanitas and Terra, saying something about darkness again. 

Terra steered Vanitas around beside him and raised his blade as Aqua came for them. “ _ Stopga! _ ” he cried, his blade lighting up with purple light. Aqua came to a stop and for a moment, silence fell. He turned his head to look at Vanitas. “You’ve gotta go.”

“I’ve been trying to, but—what?”

“She’s honing into your Darkness. She ignored Ven completely and came for you. The only way we’ll be able to wake her is if you get to your room or something and leave this to us. Quick, the magic is fading fast!”

“I—yeah.” Terra was probably right. She did keep saying stuff about the darkness, so it would make sense that she was able to sense darkness and followed that. He made to move around her, but then the magic faded. 

“You won’t get away so easily—!”

“Aqua—get out, Van—you have to wake up!!”

Stormfall came swinging for his face quickly, coating in magic not yet cast. Before he could bring up Void Gear again, though, the Hareraiser mounted his shoulder and leapt in front of him, curling its ears in front. While they weren’t as good at blocking as Shoegazers, their ears still acted as excellent shields.

Although they couldn’t act as much more than a distraction when they didn’t have ground. 

The Unversed went flying into the wall, and its ears couldn’t protect it from that. It dissipated in a puff of smoke and returned to Vanitas’ heart with a wince on his part. But its block and death was distraction plenty. Borrowing Ven’s help for a second let him finally reach the door and yank it open, flinging himself off the surprise battlefield and into the black hallway. He slammed closed the door behind him and pressed his back against the wall next to it, trying and failing to catch his breath.

The Unversed phased through the wall immediately after, each looking as worse for wear as he felt. The Sonic Blasters lit up the hallway while the Mandrake spun its leaves and hovered up toward his arms, latching on to worm its way up to his shoulder. It nervously nosed him, silently asking if he was alright. 

He didn’t know how to answer, because something deep in his heart felt very very  _ wrong _ .

There was a deep metallic thud on the other side of the wall. Aqua probably faintly sensed his presence and was still gunning for his life. He jumped away from the wall, and the Mandrake hissed at it, daring Aqua to come through. 

It probably wouldn’t be the worst idea to get out of here and tuck himself away in his room. It would be easier if Aqua wasn’t faced with any darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to say that I do in fact know how to play Command Board, but Vani has never once played in his life, and also I hate playing with Tigger he sucks man
> 
> Enjoy :) I totally forgot that it was 4/1 and i needed to update today until like 4 pm. Not much of the next chapter is written but I know where it's going so it should be fine.
> 
> I hope everyone's taking care of themselves and quarantining safely! Well wishes to everyone


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flood - Lonely  
> Hareraiser - Hurt  
> Blue Sea Salt - Pleased  
> Mandrakes - Surprise

Vanitas didn’t notice when the power came back; all the lights in his room were switched off anyway. The light from outside did little to illuminate his room, but he didn’t care about that. He was just sat up in his bed, doing nothing, surrounded by an embarrassing number of Floods for it only being a couple of hours. 

The bitter sting of loneliness felt worse today than it ever had before. It felt very different; before, he’d had no friends to miss. Now, though, he felt like he’d lost something he’d never had before. 

And that  _ hurt _ . 

He’d grown weak in his time here. If Master Xehanort saw him the way he was now, Vanitas would be in for it. 

Another Hareraiser was in his lap, this time more emotional than physical, which he hated with every fiber of his being. It clicked, crooned, and purred, but it did not move. The Floods squirmed around him; some settled around him, while others poked around his room. 

At some point, over an hour after retreating here, he heard the Wayfinders stumbling up the stairs, probably headed toward Aqua’s room. She must have finally woken up, and was probably going to get herself taken care of. After all that, she probably needed a rest. After his flashback, he’d been so exhausted that he’d fallen asleep before he’d laid down. 

Ven and Terra did not come to disturb him after, which was all well and good, he guessed. He thought he felt the presence of his other half hovering outside his door, but Ven must have decided it wasn’t a good idea. 

Loneliness was crippling, but somehow their presences wouldn’t fix what was wrong. It would only be suffocating, maybe even make it worse. 

Fuck loneliness. And fuck emotions, and how little sense they made. Fuck all of it. 

Another couple hours passed. Vanitas’ shoulders relaxed a little. His head was still pounding at him, but it wasn’t as bad, his vision was steady and clear, and his head was no longer spinning. Nothing lasting had come out of hitting his head like that—a concussion would have made everything worse. If he still had access to his damn helmet, it wouldn’t be as much of a problem. 

Something thudded on his door, and his shoulders were tense again. He turned his head to look. There were two shapes beneath the door blocking the light from coming in from the hallway. It wasn’t hard to guess what they were. 

A short pause after the first knock, another two came. Then there was a metallic twist, and the door was slowly pushed open. 

“Vanitas?”

Aqua. She sounded different from earlier, more like herself. She sounded better. That was good. 

Vanitas didn’t respond to her. 

After another few seconds, the light switched on above him. Aqua neared him, stepping over a few scattered Floods, brushing some to the side and settling behind him on his bed. “Hey,” she said softly. She sounded… guilty. 

Part of Vanitas thought that she  _ should _ feel guilty, the part of him most traumatized by his pounding head, but that was all part of a flashback. If he didn’t get in trouble for his actions midst flashback, she shouldn’t for hers. 

“Hi.”

“How’s your head?”

Pounding. He didn’t say as much; she didn’t have to know. He just shrugged his shoulders, fingers curling into the fur of the Hareraiser. One of his Floods around him sat up and crawled up his arms to nestle on his shoulder, nudging at his cheek with its nose. These things were getting entirely too complacent. Had they completely forgotten that Vanitas used to devour them? 

Aqua stayed silent for a little longer. She reached out a hand—Vanitas could feel the tension—but dropped it back to her lap. The Flood climbed from his shoulder up into his hair and stood there on its hinds, watching her. Waiting for her to do something.

“...Vanitas, I am so sorry,” Aqua finally said, voice breathy and rushed. “I couldn’t—I—” She paused again and took a breath, like she wasn’t sure how to continue. “I didn’t know it was you. But that’s… that…” She swallowed and shifted around. “I’m sorry that I hurt you. I really am.”

He could feel it, in the tension in the air around her. There were nerves—not from him this time—and something that said she thought he wouldn’t forgive her. After everything, he thought maybe that was ridiculous. Maybe way back when, that was the case. But things were different now. He was better, and she was sorry, and they were friends, and… 

“It’s okay. Sorry you got scared.”

Tension left Aqua in a rush; Vanitas could practically feel her relief. “It’s not okay. But thank you. Is it—can I—hug you?”

His nerves returned full force, and he shook his head. Not right then. His head still hurt and his hand still hurt, and if she got too close—well, his head was sure to go somewhere he didn’t want it to go. Maybe later, but not now.

“I… okay. I’m sorry.”

Vanitas sighed quietly. Having friends was damn complicated. “Not… your fault. My head’s just not right, right now. You’re… forgiven.”

“You do look a little swollen. Have you healed your head yet?”

The Flood in his hair patted his head gently, like it was encouraging him. He shook his head, both in answer, and an attempt to dislodge it. “I don’t have any potions.” The Flood stayed firmly in place, clicking at him.

Aqua tutted softly under her breath. “...Well, can I? It’s the least I can do.”

“...Knock yourself out.”

Aqua laughed a little, very softly, and reached her hand forward. The Flood on his head clicked at her, though she couldn’t hear, and Vanitas felt its claws moving in his hair. He turned his head in time to see it leap from his head toward her outstretched hand, making its way to her shoulder. He fought off a little half-smile, quickly fixing it to a frown. Was it reacting to his emotions?

“Oh, hello. You’re cute, aren’t you?” Aqua said, voice dappled with affection. She reached her hand forward again, not close enough to touch, and cast her cure. He felt his skin knit up in a way he had never felt before, and relief surged in his head as the swelling quickly went down. That Cure stuff really worked. “Anywhere else?”

A Flood by his knee crooned and nudged at his injured hand from beneath, pushing it up into the air. He smacked the Flood out of the way (and felt it in his own head,  _ ow _ , bad idea), but Aqua saw. She stretched her hand around him to rest beside his, and asked, “can I?”

“...Sure.”

She grabbed his hand gently and said “ _ cure _ ” again under her breath. As Vanitas watched, the skin knitted up there as well, until it was the same shade and shape it always was. The Hareraiser dissipated since the pain was gone.

After a second, she dropped his hand and took hers back, standing. “You can stop hiding, now. I promised you s’mores yesterday, so let's go make s’mores. They’re good.”

“Are you like… okay now?”

Aqua laughed a little, showing off pearly whites. When Vanitas turned to fully watch her, her eyes went soft. Vanitas could actually feel the affection coming off of her, which was all very weird. “I’m feeling better now, yeah. Ven and Terra talked me down, and we chatted things out for a little bit before we came up here. I had time to cool down, and now, I want to spend time with you.”

Vanitas felt his face heat up very suddenly, and heard one of the Floods laugh. He shot the one by his knee a glare, guessing, and whether it was the laughing one or not, the laughter stopped. When he stood, a Blue Sea Salt appeared beside him and twittered around happily, heating up his face further. 

“What’s this one mean?” Aqua asked, extending her hand to the little pot. It drifted closer to her and allowed her to touch it, making delighted little noises she couldn’t hear. The damn Flood on her shoulder hadn’t moved yet either.

Vanitas almost didn’t answer, because this was getting too uncomfortable, but not necessarily in a negative way. He looked away from her, dragging a Flood into his arms to distract him. The Flood was perfectly happy to nudge his chin and pick at his clothing. “...Satisfied. Contented. ...Pleased.”

“Good things?” Aqua said with a smile. “I always thought they were negative emotions. Are they maybe happy, too?”

“Shut up.”

Aqua tsked softly, patting his head. He fought back the wince—he wasn’t hurting anymore, but he still wasn’t a fan of being touched. He noticed her extend an arm, like she wanted to hug him, but then she stopped. “Let’s go. I promise you’ll love them; Ven makes the  _ best _ S’mores.”

“Fine, fine,” Vanitas said, putting on a sour act. He followed her out, feeling the rest of the Floods, besides the one in his arms and the one on her shoulder, return to him painlessly. The Blue Sea Salt chirped and twittered and followed above Vanitas’ head, perfectly content.

* * *

The S’mores were, in fact, some of the best things he’d ever had. The fact that they made the worst of messes made them even better. Ven got some gooey marshmallow in his hair and had to battle it out, and Vanitas didn’t feel bad laughing at him because—well, because it was who he was, it was the situation, and he wasn’t the only one laughing anyway. 

The storm finally passed in the night. The moon shone up above and the wind died down, but Vanitas was smart and didn’t crack his window open this time. 

The sense of foreboding that had come with the thunder and lightning didn’t leave, though.

* * *

The Unversed sometimes could converse with Vanitas. Not just through feelings and impressions but, sometimes, with words as well, in a language only Vanitas knew and heard. It was rare that they spoke, since generally the most they needed to express were impressions, but sometimes, the need awoke. And they were rarely gentle with it. 

“ _ Master, WAKE UP _ !”

Vanitas was startled awake when the Blue Sea Salt launched onto his stomach and spat a snowball in his face. Vanitas cursed loudly when he woke up, birthing a few Mandrakes. Each squeaked and startled, one falling to the floor. 

Vanitas wiped the snow off of his face and glared at the Blue Sea Salt. It wasn’t paying attention, instead looking out of the window towards the paths to the hill and village.  _ “Look _ !” it insisted. His mouth fell open for just a second when he saw the commotion outside. 

Heartless. Dozens upon dozens of them, probably two, maybe three hundred. They came from the mountain, and the village, apparently ready to storm the castle. 

Vanitas had not often worked with Heartless. They hadn’t come in the decade prior, and he didn’t face them often in Monstropolis. But there was something even creepier about the Shadows than about most of his Unversed. The way their eyes stared dead-eyed at nothing… Vanitas appreciated the creepy, but not like that. At least the Flood eyes were shaped like something rather than just soulless circles. 

He knew what it meant when the Heartless arrived. 

His stomach bottomed out at that thought. He didn’t want to lose this home. He’d lost too many. 

He was out of bed in a flurry. Shoved his legs into some pants and his arms into a long sleeve shirt he’d taken a liking to. Forwent socks but jumped into his boots. He was trailed after by a flurry of Unversed when he rushed out of the door. 

Aqua and Terra were at the base of the stairs and off to the left, that Vanitas could see them beyond the banister. They were talking quietly but hurriedly to one another. They had to know about what was going on. Aqua’s window faced the same way his did, and she struck him as the sort who would shove open her window every morning and hold out her finger for little birds and birdlettes to flutter to and sing with her. She had to have seen. 

He decided to skip the rest of the stairs and instead vaulted over the railing, plummeting probably from much higher up than he should have. He figured he’d fallen from higher before. He was pretty sure he heard protests from his Unversed, but he decided not to care. 

He hit the ground hard right behind Aqua but bent his knees decently to absorb some of the shock. It decently sored the hell out of his legs, but it was whatever. This felt more important. “What’s going on?”

Aqua started as soon as he hit the ground, her hair practically on end. She turned right on him and narrowed her eyes right at him, not quite glaring but probably only because she still felt guilty. “You’re gonna break your legs!” She snapped. 

“Yeah. My Unversed woke me up to show me the fuckin’  _ army _ outside.”

A Flood maneuvered itself into his arms, but Vanitas hadn’t felt anything different so he assumed it was one that had been out already. 

“We’re not sure,” Terra offered, since Aqua still looked a little peeved. “It’s like they’re just… waiting. They’ve been out there for fifteen minutes, doing nothing.”

“What are they waiting for?”

Aqua shook her head. “We’ve been trying to figure that out. Seen Ven?”

He hadn’t passed Ven, but Ven’s room was nearer to Terra’s, turning a different hallway. “No.” 

Terra hummed, turning his head to look out a decent sized picture window east. The entirety of the army couldn’t be seen, but he could tell where they were amassing from. 

“I wonder what they’re here for.”

“I thought the Heartless were gone,” Aqua said. “After… after the battle, we didn’t see any more. Where are they coming from? And in such a number? Why are they…  _ here _ ?” Her voice was tight with anxiety. Like Ven a few nights ago, mentioning the night Sora lost his home. 

The Wayfinders had already lost this place once, too. They were in no hurry to lose it again. 

Vanitas tightened his hand into a fist, imagining the feel of Void Gear returning, its familiar weight and the grip in his hand solid and reaffirming. They would  _ not _ lose this place. He turned to the Blue Sea Salt and shooed it off to wake the blond. An army like this, they’d need all the help they could get. 

“They won’t be for long,” Terra assured softly. Ends of the Earth appeared in his hand like he was ready to fight, right that second. 

“There’s Darkness everywhere,” Vanitas said to answer Aqua’s nervous question. “If light’s everywhere, then darkness is everywhere. And that’s what the Heartless are born from, right? They’re not gonna, like, go away. But it doesn’t mean they’re on the rise again. They’re just responding to the Darkness in all worlds.”

Terra nodded slowly, putting a hand on Aqua’s shoulder in the same moment steps started coming down the stairs. “Van’s got a point, Aqua. Evil isn’t back again, it’s just the way things are.”

“But why are they all  _ here _ ?” Aqua demanded, glancing out the window. “Why would they come here, if they’re not being ordered? And if they are being ordered, then by  _ whom _ ?”

Terra and Vanitas split a look. Arguably, if any of them would know, Vanitas would. And he had no clue. 

“What’s going on?” Ven asked when he was at their level, coming up beside Terra with the Blue Sea Salt in his arms. It squirmed mightily and freed itself, going to Vanitas’ side. 

“Heartless,” Terra said, nodding to the window. “A fuckton of them.”

Ven looked out, eyes going wide. Chirithy pawed up behind him and crawled up to his shoulder, looking with him. “Why…?”

“Dunno,” Vanitas said. “But they look like they’re getting closer.” Did they intend to storm the castle? For what purpose? 

He couldn’t help but wonder if there was some mastermind behind this. Heartless rarely acted on their own, without command. He didn’t even know that they could. Without command, they’d just go back to heart devouring, senseless monsters. 

Aqua cursed under her breath when she looked out of the window, realizing the same. “They must be preparing to attack. Which means we have to get the drop on them.”

“I’m good at that,” Vanitas offered, although he meant it quite literally. Shadow Dive—fun to do, surprising for his enemies, and  _ painful _ . 

“Shh,” Aqua waved him off, rolling her eyes and knowing exactly what he meant. 

“What about the village?” Ven asked, drawing Chirithy into his arms nervously. “It looks like they’re coming from there. What if there’s…  _ trouble _ ? Someone should check on them. They won’t know how to deal with Heartless.”

Terra and Aqua paled, sharing a long look. They probably hadn’t even thought of that. Vanitas hadn’t either. Trust Ventus to be the only one to think of it. “We’re the only ones who can handle them. Whatever they try—“ Aqua gulped down a breath, looking between the other three. “We’re better equipped to deal with it. Someone should go check on them.”

For just the briefest of seconds, something like ‘ _ a chance to get off this mountain _ !’ blasted through Vanitas’ head. He shook that thought away—that wasn’t what he wanted anymore, it was just age-old thinking. The head injury was probably fucking with him. He didn’t want that anymore. 

He was a fucking Wayfinder, now. And if he was a Wayfinder, he helped. That’s what they did. “I’ll go.”

“I’ll go!!” Ventus said, hopping on his toes. “I’ll be quick.”

Aqua’s eyes darted between the two of them, lingering on Vanitas for just a second. Then, she turned to Ven. “Ven, you go. See if there’s anything to take on, or if you can find a source, but be  _ quick _ . We’ll need you to help us.”

“Yes, Master Aqua,” Ven said, quickly slipping into the role of apprentice when Aqua took over. 

Vanitas paused hard, eyeing her. It was probably… weird, but something here felt like mistrust. Like… what, they didn’t think he’d come back, if he finally got off the mountain? That was a younger him. A more foolish him. This him wanted to stay. 

“Stop,” Terra suddenly said, flicking Vanitas’ forehead. Vanitas flinched, but was surprised to see something like affection there. Even from Terra? “I can see you overthinking; knock it off. Ven’s faster  _ and _ has a glider. He’ll be back faster to help us fight.”

Aqua nodded hard. “They know Ventus already, they know they can trust him. Besides, I think your Unversed will come in handy, if they’ll fight with us.”

“ _ Yes! Unversed will fight!!”  _

“Uhh…” Vanitas said, surprised by the Unverseds’ insistence. He supposed they felt like this was their home nearly as much as he did. They would fight for it. Probably because he would. “They say they will.”

Ven grinned, thumping his fist against Vanitas’ arm. “I’ll be back in a jiff. Don’t worry; the village is boring as hell anyway. C’mon Chirithy!” He took off for the front doors, calling on Lost Memory. He cast Blizzaga, and took off, Chirithy clinging to his legs. 

They watched him cut through the crowd, soaring above their heads. The Heartless made to attack him, but either gave up, or couldn’t reach. Even the fliers didn’t follow. 

Vanitas licked his lip nervously, glancing up when Terra turned back to them. “Ready?” he asked. 

“As I’ll ever be,” Vanitas grumbled. He called on a handful of Unversed—Wild Bruisers and Tank Topplers would do nicely in a battle like this. 

“Hey Terra,” Aqua said, switched her tone to something light and airy, rather than nervous. “Pretend this is your Mark of Mastery! I’ll give my word to Master Yen Sid, and you’ll be a Master by morning.”

Terra just laughed, shooting her affectionate eyes, and Vanitas suddenly felt like he was in the middle of something. The Flood nudged its snoot against his chin as if to distract him, climbing around onto his shoulder and staring out the door Ventus had left from. Aware that was their destination. 

Aqua called on Stormfall, Terra called Ends of the Earth, and between them Vanitas summoned Void Gear. Together, they walked out into an unbothered battlefield. 

Once the Heartless spotted them, clearly prepared to fight, there was a wave through them, like they were all at once becoming aware. Then, they attacked. 

In that same second, one thought rippled through Vanitas’ head, an order to his Unversed so there could be no confusion.  _ “Kill.” _

The little Flood moved first, because it was closest to Vanitas and so probably got the message first. It leapt from his shoulder and melted into the ground to meet a surge of underground Shadows. It caught one beneath the surface and pushed it up above, furiously scratching and clawing at the fumbling Heartless. 

Aqua and Terra slapped the pauldron on their arms, armor forming around them in an instant, and not for the first time, Vanitas wished for his helmet back. Aqua looked back his way and warned him to be careful, then leapt into the fray.

Someone certainly had to be controlling the Heartless, Vanitas realized as he followed her in. They attacked in groups, small portions of them breaking off to fight each wielder. Heartless that did well against Magic surrounded Aqua, fast Heartless that could dodge and attack quickly surrounded Terra, and heavy hitters got to armorless Vanitas. They wouldn’t know to fight like that unless they were under control. 

But if they  _ were _ under control,  _ why _ ? Why here, why now? It made no sense. 

Vanitas ducked his head out of the way of an oncoming sword from an Invisible, bending backwards. A Hareraiser caught his back so he didn’t go too far back and pushed him upright, hopping up next to him. The Invisible glared at him and stood its ground, blade wielded and ready to attack again. 

Aqua and Terra were holding their own, the sounds of blades melting through defeated Heartless and clanging on metal ringing through the air. Vanitas was doing fine on his own too, and the Wild Bruisers was certainly helping to take out a decent chunk of the enemy. But there were still so many left—they were like a hydra. Kill one, two more take its place. And it was getting old. 

He slashed his blade through the meat of a Wyvern, dissolving it. There was a Shoegazer at his side, ready to shield, while a Scrapper stood on his other side to fight. Vanitas yanked his blade out of the ground where it had buried itself, giving himself just a second to turn red eyes toward the ascending heart. A Bully Dog leapt into the fray right before him, so he had to jump out of the way before it tried to kill him. 

He must have killed twenty of them by now, at least, but the crowd didn’t seem to be thinning. He was built and trained for long, intense fights, but he knew he was going to get tired after a while. The Unversed helped, but their pain became his pain, so he couldn’t let them fight for long. He hoped Ventus returned soon. 

“Vanitas!”

A barrier was cast around him when the Bully Dog was killed. The Shoegazer and Scrapper snarled at it, but Aqua melting through proved its source. She sounded exhausted, and though her armor showed very little body language, he could tell from the slump of her shoulders that she was feeling it. “Are you holding up okay?”

“This is nothing,” Vanitas snapped. Seriously? Hadn’t he once decimated them, or very nearly decimated them, on the battlefield? Why worry now?

“It’s just, you don’t have armor,” Aqua said firmly, reaching out a hand that Vanitas stepped away from. “I worry about your head.”

That injury was practically nonexistent now thanks to her, something she apparently forgot. He brushed her hand away. “My head is  _ fine _ . Get back out there and fight.”

Aqua stayed still for a moment longer, watching, then turned his head down to the Shoegazer at his feet. She stayed silent, as if speaking to it for just a moment. The Shoegazer lifted its eyes to her in agreement, and she turned around and left. The barrier dropped. 

Vanitas rolled his eyes before getting back into the mess. She didn’t trust him to take care of himself?  _ Now _ , of all times? Honestly. He wasn’t  _ Ventus _ . 

Well. He was. And in fact, he was  _ better _ than Ventus. Which was why he could goddamn take care of himself. 

His Flood quickly returned to him and skittered up to his shoulder, nudging his cheek and showing off a scarred eye that had been stinging him faintly. He couldn’t heal them without absorbing them, but it seemed that acknowledging its pain helped to soothe it. It nudged his cheek incessantly again, then skittered back down and bumped up against a nearing Triple Wrecker. An affirmation between them, an agreement, and the two separated. 

Vanitas ignored them, facing off with two Large Bodies and a Large Armor. One smacked its belly and rushed him while the other two launched into the air with clear intent to squash him. These were annoying, but at least fighting them was fairly easy. Vanitas wiped away sweat on his forehead and prepared to dodge and block. 

Ventus still wasn’t back, which meant he must be dealing with something in town. Terra kept glancing over his shoulder to the path toward the village, even Vanitas could see it happening. The idiot was setting himself up to get hit hard. Between Heartless attacks, Vanitas looked toward him in the hopes he wouldn’t die. The Wayfinders coddled Ven, but he could take care of himself. Terra had to remember that, or the moron—

Speaking of. A Hot Rod, who Vanitas specifically remembered being the bane of Sora’s existence, was getting mad. It was going to start rampaging, and Terra was right in its path. It was to Terra’s back, so even when he was paying attention to the fight, it wasn’t to this creature.

Heartless like this were too fast to dodge, and they hit hard. Terra had endurance and outlasted Vanitas in every spar they had, but a hit like that could cripple anyone. 

The Hot Rod got onto its rear wheels and dove forward and Vanitas, with movements quick and airy, made his move. 

His blade came up and caught the stupid Heartless’ front wheels. The Heartless hadn’t been expecting a defender, so couldn’t properly brace itself. Vanitas flung it to the side and struck it three times with the blade before it finally disintegrated. It had only gotten in one solid hit, a rubber burn on his arm that tore through his shirt and yeah, that stung like a bitch, but that was manageable. 

Terra either heard the clash or sensed him there, turning with his blade wielded. Vanitas twisted his head to glance at the weapon, but Terra didn’t dare attack him. 

In his momentary distraction, a voice cut through the air. “ _ Vanitas _ !”

Vanitas looked toward it to see Ventus, watching him from the path to the village. He was pointing to something behind Vanitas with his blade. Chirithy stood on his shoulder and pointed frantically, hopping about. 

Vanitas’ stomach bottomed out, but he quickly and wisely turned his head to look at what Ven and Chirithy were desperately pointing out. 

And in the next half-second, his whole body was hit so hard and so suddenly he didn’t even feel any pain. Not until he went sailing, blurry eyes watching Hareraisers appear in his wake, and smashed into the castle wall. His head hit the wall hard, but he did not just see white. He soon saw black, and it did not go away.

* * *

“ _ Vanitas _ !” Ven’s voice cried out, catching Terra and Aqua’s attention. Rather than looking at him, though, they looked at Vanitas. A Large Armor was charging, but it was too close to defend. Terra lifted his blade to try to get between it and Van, and Aqua tried casting a barrier that failed. 

It hit Van, and the kid went flying. Before anyone could even move, he hit the wall next to the stairwell, leaving a decent dent where his head hit. He slumped to the ground.

“ _ Shit _ !” Ven said, moving quickly. He made to move for Van and make sure he was alright, but the Hareraisers he had produced were surrounding him, ears crossed and ready to throw up shields and protect him. 

Behind them, Van struggled up, his arms shaking and his head low. He looked like he was struggling to  _ breathe _ , let alone fight. Van lifted his head and looked at Ven, chest surging and shaking. 

“Vanitas— _ Fuck _ ,” Ven cursed, because he didn’t know what to do or say. The Unversed in front of him were glaring and snarling, as best a Hareraiser could, not even letting Ven pass. 

Van lifted a shaking hand as if to say he was okay. One of the Hareraisers hopped over to him and patted his hand down, looking like it was scolding him. In the next second, Van’s arms lost their strength, and he slumped to the floor. He did not move again, the Hareraiser beside him patting his back. 

“Ven,” Aqua called, casting a Barrier around Van in case anything got past the Hareraisers. “Focus! We have to fight if we want to get him back inside!”

“But—” Ven said, stopping in his tracks and looking to his other half. In his distraction, many Unversed rushed around him to get to Van, hovering outside the circle of protective Hareraisers because they weren’t going to let anything get closer. The focus on the fight was gone, and the Heartless were taking that advantage. 

Terra ducked his head as a Wyvern came spiraling above him, bringing his blade up to cut into its stomach. Darkness leaked out of it, spilling to the ground just behind him. Another three Heartless came at him, but all of them were ground Heartless, so he cast Quake and leapt over them. 

Fuck, this was hard. He hadn’t realized how much the Unversed were knocking out until they were without direction and so without a need to fight. They wanted to go back to and heal their master, but it was Van who pulled them in apparently, and not they who went to Van.

He startled when something pressed against his back with a metallic clang. Afraid it was a Heartless, he turned his head only a little to see gray and blue armor.

Aqua. Of course. Aqua always had his back. Always had, and always would. What would he do without her?

“The Unversed have Van?” Aqua asked, throwing a brief Barrier around the both of them. 

“Yes,” Terra said, glancing over for a spell. Van was surrounded but still unconscious. There were plenty of Unversed to protect him, but that would do nothing if the creatures refused to focus and fight. “He’s fine.”

Aqua flinched but did not comment. “Feels like these Heartless just got a lot stronger.” 

“Aqua! Terra!” Ven came in from above and dropped into the barrier, which Aqua relaxed for just a moment. “The Unversed won’t fight now.”

“They don’t know what to do,” Aqua agreed after a moment. Any Unversed not directly outside of the Hareraiser circle were milling about, not fighting or defending. Without their Master to tell them what to do, they had truly no direction. The Heartless were no longer paying attention to them, as if instantly recognizing that that particular threat was fully neutralized. Which meant the entirety of the Heartless threat was hyper focused on the three of them. 

“So what do  _ we _ do?” Ven asked, wincing when a Wizard blasted a spell at the barrier. It glanced off into the air, but the barrier shook. It wouldn’t last forever. “They won’t listen, and if Van is hurt we have to get him inside.”

Aqua glanced to the side and reinforced her own barrier by taking the one from Van. He was being ignored, and was surrounded by his own Unversed, and they had to plan. “The Unversed are a hivemind, aren’t they?”

“I—Van never explained it to me,” Ven admitted quietly. “But they come from him, and obviously they’re under his command.”

“So. So they probably operate on one mind, or… or are, like really dumb. Easily influenced. If we can get one to fight with us, do you think the others would follow suit?”

“I don’t—” Ven said after a breath, shaking his head. “I don’t know. That makes sense, I guess. But how do we get one to fight with us?”

As if it was called, a Flood appeared outside of the barrier which Aqua relaxed for a second to let it in. It climbed up Ven and sat on his shoulder opposite Chirithy, looking like it was attempting to chatter, but was absolutely silent. Ven had never even heard them make a noise. 

“Ven,” Terra said, nodding at Ven and the Unversed. The Unversed bumped against Ven’s mask and clacked its little claws on his shoulder. “Van is half of you, right? So if they’ll listen to anyone, they’ll listen to you.”

Ven seriously doubted that Van had assigned rank to them in case something happened to him, but what did he know? Half of what Van did made no sense to him, so why shouldn’t he do something like that? 

The Flood nudged his face again and watched him. Huh. It looked like… it was waiting for a command. Or maybe it was demanding they help? He didn’t know. Either way, it seemed very persistent. 

“What do you think, little guy?” he asked. “Wanna help us fight?”

Its head cocked to the side. It probably didn’t know what he meant. Did it understand his language? It must—Van spoke to them aloud regularly. 

Apparently not. It whapped its claw on his head, and then jumped to the ground, stopping just inside the barrier but with clear intent to go to Van. It was here, asking for help. 

“I know,” Ven said, dropping to a knee. Chirithy hopped down and patted its head. “I want to help Van, too, but we can’t until these bad guys are gone. And we could really use your help. You want to help him, right?”

It stamped its claw on the ground and darted out of the barrier, dropping to the ground in a shadow to dart past the Heartless and reach its master. 

“It’s too stupid to help us,” Terra said, his voice lilted with light, nervous laughter. 

A second later, three more Unversed appeared outside of the barrier, led by the Flood who hopped back in as if the barrier was nothing. It scrambled back up to Ven’s shoulder and nudged his mask, a voice echoing in his head, “ **can help Master?** ”

“Ah—” Ven turned back to Aqua and Terra, who watched, intrigued but not startled. They hadn’t heard it. Had  _ he _ heard it? “We—have to fight off all these Heartless so we can help Van, but yeah. We can help.” 

“ **Have to fight. Need Unversed to fight.** ”

“Yes, we need your help so we can help Van.”

The Flood looked back towards its companions, the Monotrucker, Red Hot Chili, and the speedy little Glidewinder watching him in return. They seemed to share in a silent conversation, before the Flood looked back to Ven and said, “ **to help Master, Unversed will fight with friends.** ” 

_ Friends _ ? Van had never called them friends out loud. Ven didn’t doubt that he thought they were, but something about hearing it aloud was… different. Good different. 

He rose back up to his full height and looked back to Terra and Aqua, who watched him with confused eyes. “They, um. They’ll fight.”

The two shared a look. Aqua prepared a spell on the tip of her fingers, in preparation of dropping the barrier. Terra watched him, but Ven couldn’t tell what he was thinking from the shade of his mask. “...Were you talking to them?”

Ven didn’t know how to answer that, so he didn’t. He took Lost Memory back out and brandished the weapon. The Unversed would fight, and that was what mattered. That, and then getting Van back inside so he could be healed. “Chirithy, go see if there’s anything you can do for Van.”

“There probably won’t be,” Chirithy lamented, then patted his head. “But I’ll get out of your way so you can fight! Hurry.”

“Uh huh.”

Aqua dropped the barrier in the next second, and the Heartless flooded in. 

With Ven fighting for Van, and the Unversed now back to being a determined force of fighters who now had a master to protect, the fight wasn’t nearly as hard. Without having to be told, the Unversed separated and stuck with them, defensive ones like Shoegazers with Ventus, magic ones who could keep up with fast Heartless like the pots with Terra, and heavy hitters like Wild Bruisers with Aqua. Each covering their weaknesses. Ven wondered if that was how Van thought, or if that was how they had been trained to fight, or what. It certainly didn’t seem like coincidence.

The Flood apparently took command, likely closest to Vanitas’ heart as they were the most numerous. It darted in and out of Unversed circles as if checking in on anyone, bumping sides with them, and then scrambling back over to Ven, where it spent most of its time. It wasn’t very strong, but was apparently resilient and slippery, and very determined to fight if it meant getting Van back somewhere safe. 

Ven wondered, somewhere way at the back of his head, if Van knew how lucky he was to have these little companions, then remembered how they came to be and why he could create them, and wisely silenced that thought.

The fight was long, hard, and brutal, but at some point before collapsing Vanitas had produced multitudes of Vile Phials, who were as happy to sprinkle their healing magic on Ven, Aqua, and Terra as they were on their companions. Though it made the fight longer, at least it wasn’t as intense. The Heartless were being killed off in waves, slowly slimming out the crowd. All of the smaller, easy, multitudinous Heartless were killed, leaving behind only some of the larger, stronger ones. Wild Bruisers clashed hands to hands with a Rock Troll, a pair of Triple Wreckers took on a whole horde of Fat Bandits, while an entire flood of Floods squirmed around a Bully Dog, refusing to let it up. 

Ven squared off with an Invisible with a bad attitude, Terra had found himself facing off with a Morning Star, while Aqua stood opposite an Assault Rider. They were backed up to one another, back to back facing their opponents. 

“You guys are doing awesome,” Aqua encouraged, pushing her shoulder blades back against Terra’s, while her free arm dropped to push on Ven’s arm. “You really are.”

“Thanks, Master Aqua,” Ven chirped, lifting his chin. 

“We’re almost done; the little guys have been a huge help,” Terra agreed, glancing down toward the Flood once again on Ven’s shoulder. 

Aqua hummed in agreement. “And your Mark of Mastery is pretty much guaranteed!” 

Terra just laughed, shaking his head, but Ven could definitely feel the pride coming off of him. Aqua’s pride in him and approval meant a lot to him; they may have been peers, but Aqua had always meant just about everything to him. 

“Gross,” Ven said goodnaturedly, “can’t you at least save your flirting for after the Heartless are gone?” He backed further against Aqua and Terra, watching his Invisible who seemed to be waiting for an attack. 

“Don’t be jealous, Ven, green isn’t your color.”

“Green is  _ so _ my color.”

Terra laughed again, shoving on Ven. “Good point, Ven. Let’s kick these guys’ butts and get Van somewhere safe.”

Ven glanced first toward his other half, then the Flood twittering anxiously on his shoulder, definitely ready to fight. Getting Van somewhere safe seemed like the most important thing, and making sure he was able to heal after a hit like that, which wouldn’t happen if the Heartless had their way. He got into the battle position, the Flood braced on his shoulder like a little gargoyle. The Invisible bared its teeth and got into battle ready position, clearly ready to end lives.

Not if Ven had anything to say about it. He took a step forward, and that was all the initiative the Invisible needed to move. It took a step forward, and then moved in a flash. Ven copied it, the Unversed clinging tight. Their blades clashed loudly, metal clanging against darkness. Ven swung up, his blade coated in electricity, and activated Thunder Surge. The creature stumbled backwards two steps, giving Ven enough time to get in three naked swings before he stepped back and glanced at his tiny companion. 

The Unversed wavered slightly—maybe it was feeling the effects of the Thunder Surge since it wasn’t inside the armor. But its claws were dug in, and it didn’t seem willing to let go. They were stubborn little buggers. 

“You should get down.”

A Shoegazer hopped up in front of him when the Invisible regained itself. It clanged against the shield it created and slumped backwards, startled. A Tank Toppler turned and glanced to him expectantly, as if saying they had things to take care of.

The Flood shook its head, bumping up against Ven’s helmet. Its eyes didn’t leave the Invisible, watching its every move. It was definitely not climbing down, not yet. 

“...Alright, it’s your pain.”

The fight lasted for a few more parries and spells. Ven stumbled back to recuperate from a hard blow, and in the same second, the Flood leapt forward, pouncing down onto the Invisible and slicing its claws right through its face. It landed hard on the ground and sunk into the ground, appearing within seconds beside Ven and bristling like a cat. 

The Invisible shuddered, and burst into darkness, disappearing. It was not replaced with another Heartless, while Unversed gathered around Ven, and Van’s prone body. 

Ven got a good look around the battlefield. Aqua was piercing two Hammer Frames on her blade, while Terra dropped his down on the head of the last Zip Slasher. Silence fell over the courtyard. The Heartless were gone. It was over. 

Ven turned his eyes to his other half, who lay still surrounded by numerous Unversed. He still hadn’t moved. Chirithy was right by his side, its paw on his hair. “ _ Van _ !”

Dust kicked up behind him as he made a mad dash to the castle. The Unversed parted for him, as if finally well aware that he was there and ready to help. He fell to his knees beside Van and Chirithy. 

“He’s breathing,” Chirithy said softly, lifting its paw from his hair. It was tinged slightly red. He was bleeding. 

“ _ Shit _ ,” Ven said, eyes huge. He glanced over his shoulder to Aqua and Terra, who were watching from a very short distance. “He’s hurt.”

“ _ Cura _ ,” Aqua quickly said, extending her hand. Green vines flowed from her fingertips, knitting into Van’s head. The bleeding seemed to stop, at least, color returning to his neck. 

“He needs to get inside to rest,” Terra said firmly, setting a hand on Ven’s shoulder and crouching beside him. A Hareraiser stopped by his knee, watching its master. “He’ll be fine, Ven. You know he’s a fighter.”

“He normally gets back up though!”

The Flood from before (he assumed, since they all looked the same) slunk back to his side, up his shoulder, then onto his knee. It lifted onto its back claws to brush its cheek against his face, seeking affection or offering comfort, he wasn’t sure. 

“He’ll be fine,” Terra insisted. He dropped to both knees and carefully turned Van over, a Hareraiser holding his head to avoid moving him too much. He lifted Van’s upper half, and carefully patted his cheek. When consciousness refused to return, he scooped the rest of him up into his arms. “Someone get the door?”

Aqua did, hopping up the stairs and leaning against the door. She stared out to the battlefield, eyes dark. Curiosity and dark fear was nestled there. Ven grabbed her hand on the way in and gave it a squeeze, before following Terra and Van up the stairs. 

Aqua’s mouth was dry, still staring outside. The Unversed hung around, once again without direction. A few had wandered in after them, all of the Hareraisers following Ven, while the bigger ones had yet to make hardly a move. They were the only things left out there.

The Heartless had come out of nowhere. There had been no warning. They had come out of a nearly week-long storm, and had made an attempt at the village and castle by force. Aqua hadn’t even asked about the village. Had Ven made it in time?

So… where had they come from? Why were they here? And there was no one but the Heartless there. Their master wasn’t here. But there was no way they all just decided to attack at the same time. 

Their master was still out there somewhere. Would they attack the castle again?

Aqua didn’t know. The apprehension would kill her. And she didn’t even have the time to focus on it! There probably wasn’t much that she could do, but Van needed her. 

Maybe Riku would know. Until Van woke up again, she could try giving him a call. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? The semblance of a plot? Don't make me laugh. The Heartless are here to hurt Vanitas and that's IT.   
> But it's fine, everything's fine. Vanitas will probably be okay.   
> Also that SHOULD be the last of the hurties but we'll see what happens from here :)  
> Thanks everyone for reading! Don't forget to let me know about your thoughts, predictions, hopes and dreams! I love hearing from yall.   
> Have a wonderful day, and stay healthy :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scrapper - Nervous  
> Buckle Bruiser - Frustrated  
> Prize Pod - Curious

When consciousness returned, a headache immediately blasted behind Vanitas’ eyes. He didn’t even want to  _ open  _ them.

What happened? It wasn’t even close to the first time that Vanitas had woken up with a headache, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but he always remembered when he went to sleep. Not this time. 

There were… Heartless. That, he was fairly sure of. He remembered fighting a whole bunch, his Unversed at his side. Aqua and Terra and… Ventus were fighting, too? Why were they fighting again? 

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

Vanitas flinched and paused, eyes still closed tight. Who was that? ...Terra. Almost certainly. Why was he in here? ...Doing the hairbrush thing again? Vanitas hadn’t had a nightmare. Hadn’t dreamt at all. 

“Get up, Van. You slept long enough.”

There was a squeak in his head and a weight near his belly. An Unversed was probably hanging around. When had it come out? He hadn’t felt it being born, but he didn’t always. 

Finally, he cracked open red eyes and lifted his head to look. The light stung his eyes and he had to look away. A Hareraiser was sitting on his belly and continued squeaking in his head, saying stuff that was a little fuzzy and he couldn’t totally understand. 

The lights went out, so the sunlight reflected into the room. His bed dipped to the side, a hand pushing his head forward. “How’s your head feeling? You hit it hard.”

...He had? It was no wonder he couldn’t remember. “Like it’s being ripped apart.”

Terra grunted, fingers poking at a sore place on Vanitas’ head. “It looks healed. Is it the skin hurting, or—”

“Just a headache. They happen.”

Terra hummed. “We already cured you as much as we could, but I can see if we have any pain killers hanging around. Hurting anywhere else besides?” 

Vanitas blinked hard and finally got a good look around. He was… back in his room, in his bed. Unversed were crowded around, all watching him but looking as if they had been milling about prior. 

Terra had dragged a chair in and was seated there, with a book. He looked exhausted, like he’d just finished a long, long workout. Why was he in there, again? 

Wait, Terra had asked a question. A noninvasive one.  _ Was _ he hurting? His head pounded, which was a little distracting, but… but that was really all. “No.”

“Good,” Terra said, dropping his book. “That’s good. Remember what happened?”

Things were coming back to him. There had been a whole army of Heartless. They all fought. Ven wasn’t there, but they weren’t worried. There was… a car, of some kind. 

Then it went blank. 

“Not totally.”

Terra cast a blizzard spell into his hand and found a sock, dropping the ice cubes into it. He pushed Vanitas forward a little, setting the homemade ice pack on the sore spot on his head. Vanitas stiffened for a moment, and then eased. That was helping the hurt. A lot.

“There was a Heartless coming for me. You defeated it. And didn’t see the other huge Heartless coming for you. It hit you, and you hit the wall.”

He  _ did _ ? That didn’t seem like him. These Wayfinders were changing him, in more ways than he was expecting. 

Although he was remembering more of it now. He remembered thinking Terra would be crippled just because he wasn’t paying attention. He remembered sending the car flying. He remembered Ven and Chirithy calling for him. 

He remembered hitting the wall. Pain lancing through every inch of his body. He remembered trying to get up, and being told to stay down and rest, and it was okay. 

And then… he woke up to Terra. 

“How’d, uh… how’s the fight?”

Terra grinned, running a hand through his hair. He dropped the ice pack, and Vanitas helpfully kept his head low so it stayed. “We won. Your Unversed were a big help. Ven got them to keep fighting.”

“ _ Ven _ did?”

Terra nodded, stretching his limbs. “Yeah, the one started talking to him I guess. Aqua and I couldn’t hear it, but it stayed right by him.”

Why would the Unversed do that? It had helped the Wayfinders so it was good that they had, but they’d never done anything like that unless instructed before. 

The only thing that maybe made sense was that since Vanitas  _ was _ Ven, they could communicate when in need. That was… cool? He supposed. 

Part of him hoped that this was a one time only kind of thing. Though the Unversed were annoying at best most of the time, they were  _ his _ . Something that only came from  _ his _ half of their heart, from  _ his  _ emotions. Maybe it was dumb, but… well, he didn’t want to be Ven  _ all _ the time. Not even most of the time anymore. He was surprisingly content, just being here at his side. 

Was that weird? It felt weird. 

“...Okay.”

Terra hummed, standing to poke his head out of the door. He returned a second later, arms crossed over his chest. Vanitas got the very familiar feeling of being judged. 

“That was a really fucking stupid thing you did, there,” Terra spat, almost sounding like he was angry. Vanitas turned his eyes to the wall so he didn’t have to look at that angry face. “I know you think we’re weak, but I can handle a blitz like that.  _ You _ , apparently, can’t.” 

Vanitas glared at the blankets and shot another at the Hareraiser in his lap. The jackass could at least  _ thank him _ . He’d apparently saved his ass.  _ Honestly. _ If he was gonna be a dick about it, Vanitas wouldn’t do  _ that _ again. 

Then Terra sighed viciously, and when Vanitas glanced up, he saw Terra’s hand shoving through his hair. “It was damn stupid…” Terra said again, sounding low. “But, damn brave. Don’t do that again, but… thanks. Those cars hit hard.”

Vanitas definitely remembered that from his time in Sora’s heart. It was why he’d done what he did. 

But somehow, now that he’d bitched to himself, it felt weird being thanked. He felt himself get hot, mumbling, “It was nothing.” 

“It wasn’t. You scared the shit out of all of us, but I can say that wasn’t something I would have expected you to do. You… impressed us.” 

Vanitas’ eyes darted up to the man, giving him a once over. That felt… weird. He had been told he was powerful, stronger than expected, but it had always been in regards to his physical abilities. The few times his master had seen potential in him had been the few times he’d managed to throw the man mid-practice. And Vanitas had always regretted it soon after. But this kind of compliment had nothing to do with physical prowess. It was with his choice, his drive to protect. His courage. 

His ears got hot and he quickly turned away. Didn’t know what to say, and didn’t really want to say anything.

Then, a hand was in his vision, and Terra flicked his forehead. Vanitas shot him a positively  _ livid _ glare. “Just,” the near-Master said, “don’t do it again.”

Vanitas was about to snark back, but wasn’t given the time when someone else darted into the room crying his name. 

“ _ Dumbass _ !” Ven snarled, lifting a hand and smacking Vanitas upside the head. Vanitas cried out and smacked his hand away, shooting him a glare as well. “What the  _ hell _ were you thinking?”

“Careful, Ven,” Terra reminded, “he hit his head, remember.”

“Again,” Aqua said from the doorway. She was wearing a soft smile as she watched them. “Honestly. If you’re gonna keep this head injury thing up, we’re really gonna have to think of a way to get you some armor ASAP. Let me see.” She strode into the room, Chirithy hopping in after her and climbing up to Ven’s shoulder. 

“Terra already looked. He said it’s fine. He gave me a sock.”

Ven snorted so hard he coughed, then looked away. The Flood that Vanitas realized was on the shoulder opposite Chirithy nosed Ven’s cheek. When it felt Vanitas’ glare on it, it was wise enough to hop off of Ven’s shoulder and fall into Vanitas’ lap beside the Hareraiser, bumping its head against his belly.

“I saw,” Aqua said with a roll of her eyes. “Let me look for my own peace of mind.”

Vanitas grumbled, but didn’t get in her way. The Flood stood on its hinds and shoved its cheek against his. 

Aqua tutted quietly, massaging her fingers around the sore spot on his head. “About the same spot, too. You’re looking at some major brain trauma if you keep this up.”

“Well it’s not like it was my  _ choice _ .”

“It was your choice to jump in front of a damn near giant Heartless,” Ventus muttered under his breath, shooting his own pathetic glare his way.

When Vanitas heard that, he froze for half a minute straight. Why the hell was he being given the  _ third degree _ ? Sure he’d been hurt, but it wasn’t like he’d done something  _ bad _ , he hadn’t turned his back on them when they needed him. He hadn’t turned around and attacked them himself. Maybe it hadn’t been the smartest option, but he’d done what he thought he had to when he could. 

And these assholes were grilling him for it. 

“Well what else did you want me to do?!” he finally demanded, turning burning red eyes on all three, all four of them. He sat up, the ice sock falling down his back. “Just watch as Terra got fucking  _ slaughtered _ ? Figured it was a  _ Light _ thing to do.”

Aqua and Terra split a look. Ven didn't lift his glare from him. It was Aqua who spoke up. “Don’t get me wrong, Vanitas. We’re very proud of you.” She was all quiet and gentle, almost soothing. “That was a brave and very selfless thing to do. But you shouldn’t feel like you  _ have _ to do something like that. Your safety and health are as important as Terra’s.”

Vanitas paused again, mouth falling open but only very barely. ...Proud? Terra had said they were impressed, but no one had ever been…  _ proud _ of him. And that hit different. His master had never said anything even close. His face went hot and he ducked his head away quickly. “...Just figured it was the right thing to do. You’re supposed to do that shit for your friends, right? It’s all fucking Sora ever did.”

Aqua laughed a little, but not in a condescending way like he expected. “He was certainly good at that,” she agreed. “But Sora’s friends didn’t always appreciate it either. They didn’t like seeing him get hurt, and we don’t like seeing you get hurt, okay?”

Vanitas frowned. That… made sense. He guessed. Being a friend was harder than he thought it would be, for different reasons than he expected. 

They couldn’t make this shit easy, huh.

“Fine.”

“Good,” Ven said. Vanitas shot him another smoldering glare just because he could. Ven didn’t hesitate to return it.

“You should take a couple days off training, rest that head of yours,” Terra said, leaning back on his chair. 

Vanitas quickly shook his head and ignored the way the room continued moving after he stopped. It was far too  _ boring _ in this castle without training, and they knew it! They’d just gotten out of a vicious storm! “Absolutel—“

“I agree,” Aqua said, brushing Vanitas’ protests to the side. “Take any more hits like these past couple and you probably won’t even be able to call on Void Gear, let alone a ‘real’ keyblade. Get your bearings straightened out, just give yourself time to rest.”

“Buh—what if the Heartless come back?! You need me!”

“What we  _ don’t  _ need,” Terra said, “is you getting yourself killed because you weren’t ready to fight again. Just rest for a few days. You’ll come back stronger than ever.”

Vanitas stared between the two of them ganging up on him, hoping they changed their minds. He didn’t want to fight  _ all the time _ , like he used to, but he didn’t want to be  _ barred _ from it, either. 

He deliberately blasted  _ desperation need anxiety _ in his head in the hopes that Ven would feel the influx of emotion and be on his side. When all that popped up was a Scrapper, a Buckle Bruiser, and absolutely zero sympathy from Ven, he dropped it and frowned hard. He dismissed the two new Unversed who returned lazily to his heart. 

“... _ Fine _ .”

“Good boy,” Aqua said with a laugh. She patted his ankle and squeezed it. “It’ll only be a few days; you’ll be fit and in fighting shape before you know it.”

Vanitas just grumbled under his breath, shooting reluctant glares around the room. His stomach was in knots, head once again comparing this place to his home in the Graveyard, even when he didn’t really want to think about that. Way back when, had he been injured, Master Xehanort would have expected him to fight through it, would have  _ forced  _ him to fight through it. Now he wasn’t even given the choice.

He chased the thought away. This place was eons better, and that was what mattered. The details could stay far the hell away. Choice or no choice, this at least worked in his favor. 

“Are they,” he asked after a second, glancing out his window where the Heartless had been gathering before. “Gone? Can they come back? They had to have a leader.” He definitely did remember thinking that they were acting very strangely, strategizing in a way Heartless had never done before. 

“It was only Heartless,” Ven denied, taking a seat on the bed at Vanitas’ feet. “At least, I didn’t see anyone else, and there was no one at the village.”

“I called Riku,” Aqua said, leaning against the wall beside Terra. “Heartless attacked the island, Radiant Garden, Disney Castle, and Twilight Town. No one said anything about any leader. He’s going to take a Gummi ship and Kairi and see if anything’s fishy. I might join them. They really came out of  _ nowhere _ .”

“Good idea, they’ll need all the help they can get. Ven, I forgot to ask. How was the village?”

“Fine,” Ven answered simply. Chirithy had fallen into his lap. “A couple of buildings were busted but no one seemed too hurt.”

“And everyone was very happy to see Ven come to help them!” Chirithy chirped, patting his arm. “There weren’t many there to begin with.”

“Well,” Aqua said, her voice light. “Good work, Ven. I’ll go check on them tomorrow, see what we can do to help.” She looked between the other two before turning to Vanitas. “You sure you’re gonna be alright?”

Vanitas’ brows dropped heavy over his eyes, irritation poking hard at his head. Honestly,  _ who _ did they think he was? “I’m  _ fine _ . In fact I’d be better if you let me  _ rest _ like you  _ said _ .”

Swiftly, Aqua put her hands in the air by her head, a sparkle in her eyes. “Okay, okay. We’ll let you rest. If you’re feeling up to it in the morning, come down for breakfast.”

“Sure, sure. Whatever. Get out.”

The four of them gave him genuine good nights (he offered a sour one in return) and Terra ruffled his hair as he left which he  _ hated. _ He glared at the door until it was shut tight, and then he was left alone with his Unversed. 

“So,” he said, leaning back on his hands. “You’re talking to Ven, huh?”

_ “Master was hurt. Friends could help but were not. Had to fight. Hareraiser protect Master! _ ”

The two of them both bobbed their heads. The Flood crawled up to his shoulder and nudged his face, as it seemed to enjoy doing, while the Hareraiser butted against his belly and attempted to force him to lay back. 

He did so, because his head did still kind of hurt and somehow, he was still tired. The Flood maneuvered down to his chest and made itself comfortable. 

“Just don’t make a habit of it.”

The two of them rumbled pleasantly, quickly soothing him back to easy rest. He didn’t produce a Blue Sea Salt to cool the room, because for once he didn’t feel like he needed it. 

_ “Yes Master.” _

* * *

Terra was in the kitchen when Vanitas finally made his way down the stairs blearily. He was sitting on the counter and was reading out of a book quickly, turning the pages every couple of seconds. Vanitas was pretty much certain he wasn’t that fast of a reader.

A Prize Pod silently popped up at his side as he crept over to the older wielder. Terra’s eyes didn’t even seem to be moving; what kind of information could he be getting off of it?

Terra didn’t even notice him until the Prize Pod followed its master’s head but about three feet higher, bumping into Terra’s. Terra started and slammed the book shut, looking around. Vanitas just smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. The Prize Pod chirped in his ear happily. 

“Oh,” Terra said. “Good morning, you startled me.”

“Look up sometimes.”

Terra just rolled his eyes, hopping from the counter. “I see you’re feeling better. So I figured since you’re stuck inside for a little bit, it might be a good time to learn how to cook. Everyone should learn. Ven’ll learn eventually but he’s pretty much determined to pass that duty onto anyone else.”

Vanitas had had Ven’s food a time or two. He understood why Ven would rather someone else cook. He could throw food in the oven and most of the time it came out fine, but not always. 

Vanitas fared no better than him in the kitchen, but he attributed it to never really being in a kitchen before. He could be better at this than Ven. Easy. 

“Sure.”

Terra looked like he’d expected more of a fight. His mouth was open to knock away any protests and explain why, exactly, he needed to learn. He quickly zipped it shut, handing the book he had been reading over. “Okay. Pick something that looks good, then. We should have all the ingredients we need.”

“...Whatever we’re making, I’m putting red peppers in it.” Vanitas perched on the table with the book and flipped through the pages. He ignored Terra’s laugh and focused. 

After shooting down his first choice, (“sad to say, red peppers are gonna go really weirdly in pancakes. Might be a ‘I’m home alone and want to try something new’ kind of meal.”), they settled on some kind of potatoey frittata that had red peppers in the recipe. Terra pulled a knife out of a drawer to his right and showed Vanitas how to use it (Vanitas didn’t say that he could have figured it out himself, which he was very proud of) and set him to work dicing a couple of peppers and onions while Terra started mincing something much smaller. 

They worked mostly in silence. Terra showed him how to slice the onions and basil, and then he put a pan on the stove to start frying by the time Vanitas finally spoke. 

“Hey… thanks.”

Blue eyes glanced down toward him when Vanitas lifted his head, eyeing him for a full minute. “For what? You’re making breakfast.”

“That’s not what I—” Vanitas glanced back up to him, furrowing his brows. 

Terra shook his head with a smile. “I know. You don’t need to thank me. Thanks, but it’s nothing.” 

Vanitas frowned, eyeing him before turning sharply away.  _ Fine _ , if Terra knew what he was thinking. Made it easier for him, anyway. “Lemme see the book.”

Terra had him preheat the oven, and “casually” pointed out how to do so after Vanitas stared at it, lost. The frittata went in, Terra set the timer, and they sat back to wait. 

“So,” Terra said, leaning back against the counter, Gummiphone back in hand. “Aqua and I were talking about it last night, with the whole… thing that happened.”

“Sure.” They didn’t have to pussyfoot around the attack. Or the injury, for that matter. 

“Aqua had initially intended to go with Riku, Kairi, and now Isa I guess, to see if there’s some kind of imbalance. But we talked about it, and I’m going to go instead. Since we’ll be meeting up with Master Yen Sid to brief and debrief, we were going to talk about my Mark of Mastery. Aqua appealed for me, so…”

“So you’ll get your rank. Good for you.” Vanitas didn’t really know what sort of reaction was appropriate there, but that seemed right. 

“We’ll see what the Master says, but that’s the idea.” 

“Please, you’ve got Aqua and the other Master what’s-his-name eating out of your palm. You’ve got your rank.” 

Terra handed over a smile at him, then looked away. He set his phone to the side. “We’ll see. Thanks.”

Vanitas grunted, looking at the oven and then the timer. “...Hey, how come you’re showing me how to cook? Isn’t Aqua, like, the chef around here?”

“Pfft. Aqua can cook, but she can’t  _ teach _ you how to cook. She can teach loads of other things, but she’s good about throwing ingredients together and suddenly there’s a meal. She could show you stuff later, if you want, but these early stages of cooking are best done by someone who uses a recipe.”

Terra  _ had _ spent an unfortunate amount of time showing him the differences between teaspoons and tablespoons; cups, quarts, and gallons. It was boring but… probably necessary. He supposed. 

Comfortable minutes ticked on by. Vanitas stared at the timer and silently urged it to go faster (he was  _ hungry _ , thank you) and Terra sat on his phone, typing away quietly. Probably planning stuff. It was going to be… weird. It wasn’t like it was the first time one of the Wayfinders had left, but who knew how long he’d be gone? “...When are you leaving?”

Terra glanced up at him, and Vanitas deliberately turned his head further away to hide his embarrassment. Why had he asked? “...Not until later this afternoon at the earliest, maybe after dinner. Riku has to nab a Gummiship from Disney Castle first since Sora…” He trailed off after a second, and it wasn’t hard for Vanitas to guess where he was going with that. He wasn’t friends with the Hero of Light, but he was well aware what had happened to him. 

“Right.”

“Right. So I won’t be able to leave until Riku can get that. The mission shouldn’t take  _ too _ long after that. Couple of days if we’re lucky.” Terra turned sparkling eyes down to Vanitas and leaned forward to nudge him with his elbow playfully. “Why? You gonna be okay without me?”

Vanitas threw his arms out and knocked Terra’s elbow away from him. The timer went off, so he snatched the oven mitt away from Terra and shoved it onto his hand. “Fuck  _ off _ , it’s one  _ little _ head injury, I’ve had ‘em a thousand times. You don’t need to worry about me.” He stuck his gloved hand into the oven and yanked the frittata out maybe a little violently. 

“Of course I do,” Terra said behind him. “If you’re my friend, then it’s my job to worry about you.”

“...Shut up.”

Terra leaned over him, getting a whiff of the frittata. “ _ Mmmmm _ . Smells pretty good. Keep trying and you could make a professional chef of yourself.”

Vanitas snorted, knowing damn well that wasn’t true. “ _ I said shut up. _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not too proud of this one but suffer for my love of Vanitas anyway  
> I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy! <3 Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day :)


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